Grassed up: the Green Man Festival in Brecon Beacons, Wales.
I can pretty much pinpoint the exact moment that the mainstream British festival season lost its appeal. Alighting from a people carrier at one of last year's provincial UK festivals (OK, it was T in the Park), it was only 11am, but the car park already resembled some sort of a cross between a Motley Crue after-party and a Hieronymus Bosch painting. Bodies slumped, comatose, across half-finished crates of lager before even picking up their wristband. A girl, poncho hitched up, squatting down next to a nearby car.
I'm no cosseted backstage lurker. I braved Glastonbury in the dark years of 1997 and 1998. I've crowd-surfed at Reading (to Placebo, I'm only slightly ashamed to add). But at that moment - sort of like The Wonder Years, with added bowel movements - I realised the mainstream UK festival season, with its sodden mix of overpriced alcohol, ankle-deep sludge and Razorlight, was no longer for me.
So, this weekend, I'm off to a Cold War airbase. Specifically, Bentwaters airbase in Suffolk, for the second Faster Than Sound. In 1994, Spitfires and Meteors flew missions from here. In the '80s, it was known for UFO sightings. Now, Bentwaters' concrete bunkers and aircraft hangers play host to a forward-thinking bill that includes dance acts like Mu-Ziq and Dat Politics, some experimental sorts like turntablist Philip Jeck and mechanical orchestra leader Pierre Bastien, and an installation from the Arts Blog's much discussed industrial favourites Throbbing Gristle.
Sound like an avant-yawn? Fair enough. But the last five or so years have been exciting times for Britain's niche festivals. First there was All Tomorrow's Parties, giving English holiday camps a new lease of life with an injection of clanging indie rock. Then, there was Brecon's Green Man Festival, a folk electronica / whatever affair that's outgrown its field year after year since its foundation in 2003. And now, there's a whole host of them. Medieval rock fest Tapestry. Supersonic, a leftfield metal fest in Birmingham's Custard Factory. End Of The Roadin Dorset and Rob Da Bank's Bestival in the Isle of Wight. Sonic art at the Expo Plymouth, and evil noise on the banks of the Tyne up at Input Input in Newcastle Gateshead. Even concert giants Mean Fiddler are taking heed of this new mood - their Latitude is a clear attempt to emulate the more intimate feel of the Green Man, all pastoral scenes, multicoloured sheep and poetry tents. Point is, this year, you don't have to glug rain diluted beer from plastic cups and pretend you're having a good time. Surely the UK festival season has something for you. So which one are you attending?
