Grocery delivery drivers for services like Instacart and Shipt get a uniquely intimate look into the lives of their customers. They are the ones who are picking out your produce and walking your groceries to your door. In a series of anonymous online confessions, these drivers have revealed that they cannot help but form opinions based on the contents of your order. While it is all in good fun, your grocery list tells a story that these drivers are experts at reading.
The “Obvious Party” Order
This is one of the easiest orders to spot. It consists of a strange and unbalanced mix of items. You will see multiple bags of potato chips, several bottles of soda, a single lime, and a huge bottle of cheap vodka. The lack of any real, substantial food is a dead giveaway that the customer is planning a party. The driver knows they are just delivering the mixers and the snacks.
The “New Year’s Resolution” Order
This order is common in early January. It is filled with a huge amount of healthy, ambitious produce. You will see kale, quinoa, organic chicken breasts, and Greek yogurt. Then, tucked at the very end of the list, is a single, sad pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. The driver can see the internal battle between the customer’s aspirations and their cravings.
The “I Have No Idea How to Cook” Order
This order contains absolutely no raw ingredients. The list is made up entirely of frozen pizzas, microwaveable dinners, canned soup, and other highly processed, ready-to-eat foods. It is a clear sign to the driver that the customer either does not know how to cook or simply does not have the time or the energy to do so. It is a portrait of a person who is surviving on convenience.
The “Bad Tipper” Order
Drivers have a sixth sense for an order that will come with a bad tip. It often involves a huge number of heavy, bulky items. This includes cases of bottled water, 50-pound bags of dog food, and multiple gallons of milk. When an order requires a huge amount of physical labor to shop for and to carry to the door, and the pre-set tip is a meager 5%, the driver knows they are in for a long and unrewarding trip.
The Bizarre “Single Ingredient” Order
The strangest orders are often the simplest. A driver might get an order that is for nothing but twenty individual cucumbers or ten boxes of baking soda. These bizarre, single-item orders leave the driver wondering about the story behind the purchase. Is the customer pickling, or are they conducting a science experiment? It is a mystery that they will likely never solve.
The Stories in Our Carts
A grocery list is a surprisingly personal document. It reveals our habits, our health, our plans, and even our secret indulgences. For the delivery drivers who are on the front lines of our modern food system, these lists are a constant source of amusement and insight into the lives of the people they serve. While they might quietly judge your order, they are also the ones who make sure that your secret pint of ice cream makes it safely to your freezer.
Have you ever wondered what your grocery delivery driver thinks of your order? What is the strangest grocery list you have ever made? Let us know in the comments!
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