It's Wednesday again. It's the end of July (again) and, outside Vulture Towers at least, it's raining. Again.
Is there nothing original to be had in this world? New to cable, I'm discovering endless mounds of repeats on channels seemingly designed to fill dreary evenings such as this. I can watch the same unfortunate family get a nice new house on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition three times a day. I can check out Carol Smillie's haircut in 1999 whenever I like and watch the same attractive yet somehow vacant woman get thrown off America's Next Top Model over, and over, and over again. That bit's quite fun.
Still, sometimes it's good to know that there's some good and original programming out there, and there's quite a night of it tonight, so shut out the rain, curl up with a big cup of tea, and tune into some of the picks of tonight's television, from this week's Guide and today's Guardian.
The Strange Case Of Sherlock Holmes And Arthur Conan Doyle 9pm, BBC2 Why did Arthur Conan Doyle kill off Sherlock Holmes, only to resurrect him in The Hound Of The Baskervilles? Was it because of dark family secrets and guilt later resolved? The subject matter may be similar to writer David Pirie's previous drama Murder Rooms (2000), but this is darker in tone. Get past the slow start for excellent performances from Douglas Henshall as the conflicted, anguished writer and Tim McInnerny as a literary biographer with a hint of the mysterious about him.
Jonathan Wright
Stepkids: Don't Ruin My Big Day 9pm, C4 "I thought he was a dickhead, I hated him," says stroppy Sam, looking back on her battles with new stepdad Max. Welcome to the world of so-called "blended" families, here represented by three couples about to get married where personality clashes have been extreme. While the children's attitudes are forgivable, the adults' attitudes leave you aghast.
Jonathan Wright
Nip/Tuck 10.50pm, C4 Another double portion. The first episode sees a male patient come in for breast implants. It's for a book deal. They pop his new bam-bams in to the tune of A Boy Named Sue. The second episode goes canoeing up river fromage. Christian weeps when he makes love to a blind girl. "Close your eyes," she says. "I want you to really see me." All two hours are underpinned by Julia's gradual spiral into alcoholism and depression. Gives Joely Richardson a chance to do that impression of a washing machine on spin, that she's so good at.
Julia Raeside
Kath & Kim 9.30pm, LivingTV One of the best episodes of this second series so far. Kath and Kel are on a low carb diet to get rid of turkey jowls and flibbertyjibbets (that's the flabby bits under the arms to you and me). It's really just an excuse to get Kel into some horrifically short shorts and Kath in those luminous leotards Jane Fonda made so popular in the 1980s. Inspired scenes of boxercise and jazzercise ensue. Meanwhile Sharon attempts to Riverdance her way back into Mark's heart and Kim's trying to decide what kind of wife she wants to be: "corporate, house, fish? Which one's for me?"
Clare Birchall
The Wire 10pm, FX The return of one of the most engrossing shows around. After succeeding in royally annoying just about everyone above him in the chain of command last series, Jimmy McNulty's been sidelined to the Baltimore Police Harbor unit - the last place he said he'd want to end up. It's cold, wet, and he has to wear a stupid hat. No wonder he spends hours with tide charts looking to shaft Rawls. Meanwhile, Freamon's working with Bunk, Stringer Bell's having some supply and demand issues, we meet some dodgy cargo union men, and get an introduction to the bizarre world of stained-glass window donation heirarchy (just watch). All this and Omar hasn't even shown up yet...
Richard Vine
The L Word 10pm, LivingTV Halfway through the series, and things are moving along: a heavily pregnant Tina gets an insight into the Peabody approach to parenting when Helena's children burst in on them in bed at the Chateau Marmont ("Go and wake up Nu Nu right now"). Jenny's writing teacher Charlotte (Sandra Bernhard in an inspired bit of casting) gets stuck into her latest airy story ("Well, well. Who'd like to start?"), Shane gets to see the real Veronica Bloom (not nice), Bette gets meat-tagged in the Planet, and Alice and geeky celesbian Dana finally come out - as a couple.
Richard Vine
The World's Most Photographed 7.30pm, BBC2 There was a time in the early 1920s when Adolf Hitler, already obsessed with his image, refused to allow photographs of himself. He thought a bit of mystery was more suitable for the Nazi party chairman. How quickly things changed: eventually his two trusted photographers came up with 2.5 million photographs. Curiously, Eva Braun, Hitler's mistress, was not allowed to be shown lest she damage his public image.
Mary Novakovich
Your Life in Their Hands 9pm, BBC1 Neurosurgeon Chris Chandler specialises in patients with epilepsy, and they know that an operation can put an end to their debilitating seizures. They also know that there is a small chance something can go wrong, resulting in the loss of feeling in a part of the body. It's a chance they are willing to take and one that, thanks to Chandler's skill, is a tiny one.
Mary Novakovich
Then again, there is something comforting about zoning out to yet another night of repeats. The other night I flicked past UKTV Gold only to hear the continuity announcer, in a soft, velvety voice, proclaiming that... "Later on, Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps and I'm Alan Partridge". That's funny, I thought, two pints of lager and a packet of crisps and I'm anybody's.
So there we are. Repeats - not good for much, but at least you can occasionally get a cheap gag out of them. I'm off to watch some telly.
