It's seems we're in the mood for week-themed rhymes today. Or something. So - *clears throat* -
Monday's telly was full of wee Tuesday Slough was made happy Wednesday's TV is cute but quite bloody. Thusday's TV: where folk wrestle in t'nuddy. Friday's television belongs to Jonathan Ross And Saturday's choice is so far unknown to us (though let's face it, it's going to be The X Factor) And the television that shall come on the Sabbath day, is nothing but Antiques and Songs of Pray.
Oh, alright, Praise, it just didn't rhyme.
Sorry, you just wanted to know what to watch tonight, didn't you? Well here you are then, all the picks of tonight's TV, taken from this week's Guide. Don't say I never give you anything.
Life In The Undergrowth 9pm, BBC1 David Attenborough's latest nature epic reveals how ants have played a far more significant role in our ecosystem than humanity's peripheral (and destructive) one. By magnifying these tiny creatures so that they appear like beautiful, formidable beasts of dignity and purpose rather than dots you routinely spray with weedkiller, this programme shows that size is the determining factor in our love and concern for animals. Such good television you'll feel inclined to buy a second TV licence out of sheer gratitude.
David Stubbs
Rome 9pm, BBC2 Caesar is having a high old time, knocking off Servilia, bating Pompey and generally being a devilishly dishy dictator. Titus is thinking of leaving the army for a girl. "You think with your penis,"says Lucius. Niobe's secret is out and the repercussions aren't nice. Atia's scheming to split up Caesar and his mistress. Someone gets their thumbs cut off and then is horribly stabbed. Those interested might wish to note there's no nudity in this episode.
Julia Raeside
Dispatches: Kidnap And Torture American Style 11.10pm, C4 "Extraordinary rendition" is the phrase around which this Andrew Gilligan investigation is likely to revolve. As Tony Blair unveils new, tougher, post-July 7 measures to deal with the deportation of terror suspects, Gilligan wonders if these will lead to tacit compliance with extraordinary rendition — the US practice of abducting terror suspects and returning them, untried, to countries with poor human rights records. JR
Spin 9pm, BBC3 The artist David Shrigley's latest work-in-progress is a daily spin on the breaking news, for which he creates something instantly and unveils it at the heart of the story. The artwork is displayed everywhere but the traditional gallery (on giant billboards, on swarms of sandwich boards through the city centre) and the public reactions to both the news and Shrigley's artistic interpretations of it are documented as part of this series. There are no tapes of Shrigley's endeavour for obvious reasons (it hasn't happened yet) but judging by the artist's former work, it will be as satirical and dryly comic as it is prescient.
Will Hodgkinson
Marrying A Stranger: Sabeena 9pm, More4 Part two of this series about arranged marriages is way more downbeat, and may possibly make you quite angry. Twenty-five-year-old Sabeena, a British Muslim from Manchester, is pressured by her exasperated parents to find a husband in six months — before they choose one for her. After touching base with her Saudi-dwelling hubby-to-be, Sabeena, "an educated, sensible, level-headed girl", gets cold feet — but doesn't want to upset anyone. As mum despairs, "It's better for girls to marry young; after 20, they're hard to mould."
Ali Catterall
Threshold 9pm, Sky One After the gooey fun of the opening two-parter, this series settles into alien-investigation-of-the-week mode. After a man loses his head — both figuratively and more-or-less literally — in a restaurant, the team are called in to investigate. The trail leads them to a creepy airforce base, some internet tomfoolery and a possibly infected plane. There are surprises on the way — although some familiarity with the writings of John Wyndham may lessen some of the shocks. Still, good ensemble work from the cast shows that this programme is strong enough to survive.
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I never used to mind the fact that I was born on a Wednesday, but reading Michelle's post from earlier, I really do start to wish that I'd been born on a Friday. It sounds a lot more fun ...
