After yesterday's night of escapism, tonight's televisual pickings seem to be entirely composed of what programme makers do best - or at least most often - reality, documentary and mockumentary.
How to tell the difference between the genres, I hear you ask? And how can you tell if you stumble onto something entirely made up, instead?
Well, if there are some people pretending to be someone else, that's drama. If there are people pretending to be someone else with their trousers falling down, it's comedy. If they're pretending there aren't cameras there, it might well be documentary, and if they're pretending there are cameras there, but that they're pretending there aren't, it's mockumentary. If they're pretending to be themselves, it's post-modern (and also mockumentary and/or comedy), and if they actually are themselves, know full well that there are cameras and you want to thump them, it's inevitably reality. Or something.
To be on the safe side, I'm going to pretend we never started this, and instead direct you to your top tips for an evening's viewing, from this week's Guide and today's Guardian.
Trauma 8pm, BBC1 The return of the medical documentary series is bound to affect more viewers than usual as it opens with how the emergency services coped with the July 7 bombings in central London. Thirty-five trauma doctors and paramedics from the Royal London hospital in Whitechapel responded immediately to the emergency and soon were up in helicopters in order to get to their colleagues treating injured people at the four blast sites.
Mary Novakovich
Dispatches: Supermarket Secrets 9pm, Channel 4 Most people are at least somewhat aware that modern food production leaves much to be desired, even if this doesn't change their shopping habits. Perhaps this series will, especially if they eat chicken, and especially if they are aghast to find out that the little brown mark you see on many supermarket chickens is a hock burn produced by a bird that has been fed too quickly and, as a result, its legs are too weak to lift it out of its own excrement. Or maybe they'll be convinced when they hear that what had been a low-fat, high-protein healthy option in the 1970s has since been bred to contain more fat than protein. It wouldn't be quite so worrying if supermarkets hadn't forced out smaller producers that do such old-fashioned things as provide properly reared meat.
Mary Novakovich
Extras 9pm, BBC2 Andy and Maggie work on an historical TV epic starring Ross Kemp. He plays up the "SAS want me full-time when I ditch the acting" bit to great comic effect. His mouthing off about how hard he is sees Vinny Jones paying him a little visit from the neighbouring film set. He's paralysed with fear, schvitzing like a sausage in a sauna. Andy continues his quest for the elusive line of dialogue and Maggie chases boys. It's really very good. A potty-mouthed Kate Winslet next week. Super-cool.
Julia Raeside
Bad Lads Army: Officer Class 9pm, ITV1 The first series, in which some of Britain's tracksuited yobs were put through 1950s-style national service training, was dubious social history, but wholly satisfying wish-fulfilment. This first episode of the second series is more of the same — 30 singularly horrible rat-faced peasants, many with criminal records, are gratifyingly yelled at, tormented and bullied by former soldiers. The twist this series is that efforts will be made to turn them into officers — and, more hilariously, gentlemen.
Andrew Mueller
Absolute Power 10pm, BBC2 Another crash-course in the art of spin; as with Yes Minister, one suspects this really is as close to the truth as it gets. Stephen Fry continues to amaze and excel as Charles Prentiss, whose diversions and deceptions drip from his lips like shimmering rubies, sharpened to points ("one always lies to one's defence counsel, it's the one place where it's utterly expected"). Tonight, Charles finds himself under pressure when a bankrupt ex-client lets the cat out of the sack.
Ali Catterall
AKA: Girl Surfer 9pm, Extreme Sports Feature-length documentary follows six of the world's most successful female surfers as they tour Australia's beaches. This is no Baywatch — these girls are in swimsuits for a reason. They ride waves better than most of us can ride bicycles: truly mesmerising. Less interesting for the lay viewer are the interviews — which unearth some woolly feminism ("I want to promote women"). But the visual message is strong — these women are making a splash in a male-dominated sport. Enjoyable for surfer buffs and those in need of an Endless Summer fix alike.
Claire Birchall
Fat Actress 9pm, FX Your enjoyment of this Kirstie Alley vehicle is going to be largely dependent on your enjoyment of her comedy screaming —that little-girl stomping routine she was allowed to indulge occasionally in Cheers gets full rein here. Tonight she's taking a meeting for the new Charlie's Angels movie —along with other forgotten Angels "small Angel" and "Canadian Angel", they're also looking for "Botticelli Angel". The farce gets ramped up with an overdose of laxatives, a pregnancy rumour and her attempts to hit on Kid Rock. More flat actress, really, but it has its moments.
Richard Vine
