It's a great night for reluctant dieters, with a sudden glut of food-related programming on BBC2 (and UKTV Food, I imagine). Still, I'm not sure whether it's supposed to entice you into eating or repel you away from it, so it could be a rather mixed blessing.
You see, The Hairy Bikers Cook Book (which makes me think of nothing as much as eating something that tastes faintly of diesel and is quite likely to have little thick short curly hairs in it) is on directly after Bill Oddie's How To Watch Wildlife. While Bill fawns over fabulous fauna, the Two Beardy Fat Men go to Namibia, where game animals such as oryx and zebra "aren't endangered species, they're just what people eat." It's all so neat and tidy. Apart from all those filthy beards.
Still, if you can remember to cook during Bill Oddie and thus settle down to your Roast Tiger Cub Bisque and Panda Pate in peace, you'll be fine.
Importantly, though, just when you think it's time for bed, Jon Ronson's new series starts on Radio 4. And the last one was ace, so this one probably will be too. Plus; his voice is funny.
But just in case you're a proud eschewer of that new-fangled wireless device and want to know what's on telly and only what's on telly, here are the picks of tonight's crop - taken from this week's Guide.
The Hairy Bikers' Cookbook 8.30pm, BBC2 Veteran cameramen Dave Myers and Si King have already spent several years kicking over their bikes, "and heading off on a quest for great food". The two-wheeled gourmands start their series with a visit to Namibia, where game animals such as oryx and zebra "aren't endangered species, they're just what people eat". The winningly giggle-prone duo receive tips on cooking a puff adder ("knock the head off", stick it in the pan), head out into the desert for a barbie, and take to the air in a microlight.
Joss Hutton
Elizabeth David: A Life In Recipes 9pm, BBC2 Without Elizabeth David, one of the most influential food writers of the 20th century, we might all still be eating Spam and blancmange. In this dramatisation of her fascinating life, Catherine McCormack plays David just right -- passionate, single-minded and, at times, chronically lonely. Shunning many of postwar Britain's social mores, David travelled the continent in search of their culinary secrets. In-between torrid love affairs, she thankfully managed to write it all down. At times the food seems merely a backdrop to David's complex relationships, but it's a hard balance to achieve for a drama of this sort.
Clare Birchall
Shameless 10pm, C4 Mandy goes into labour with Lip's baby after she gets mugged, but the Maguire family won't let him near his offspring until Lip finds out who robbed Mandy. Meanwhile, Kev's got a surefire tip and Frank wants in so he can afford Sheila's birthday present. The usual chaos ensues when the rest of the estate get wind of Kev's scam. Sheila is breathily delighted with what Frank "buys" her. The Maguires won't be if they find out where their new in-laws got it from.
Julia Raeside
The Wire 9pm, FX "Are you ready for a new Baltimore?" As the mayor launches a new urban regeneration programme (by blowing up the towers), Herc pumps the theme to Shaft through his squad car and Stringer Bell offers his soldiers another lesson in economics, trying to get them to understand the importance of product over territory. Jimmy and Bunk take their kids to a ball game, an old school player returns to the block, and Bubbles and Johnny lose their trousers. So effortlessly executed you don't notice how gripped you are.
Richard Vine
Jonathan Ross's Asian Invasion 10pm, BBC4 Ross is in Hong Kong tonight, to find out how much the film industry has been affected by the handover to China in 1997. Coinciding with the economic slump in Asia, production has slowed since the city's 1980s heyday, but nonetheless there are still some great films coming through, and in Stephen Chow there is another local pretender to the Bruce Lee/Jackie Chan throne. Followed by Johnny To's Fulltime Killer with Andy Lau and Takashi Sorimachi as rival assassins (is there another kind?). As well as meeting the refreshingly humble Chow, Ross salutes Michelle Yeoh, and explores Hong Kong's global influence.
Richard Vine
Over There 10pm, Sky One The involvement of Hill Street Blues/NYPD Blue co-creator Steven Bochco ensures the pedigree of this series, which follows a battalion of US troops on tour in Iraq. The action takes place through a sequence of hazy colours, from desert orange to nightvision green, while the gruesomeness of conflict is unflinchingly depicted, especially when an insurgent is blown to bits from the waist up, his legs still running after he's been hit. Over There is vivid, though limited in its scope. It's not obviously anti-war but reserves its sympathy for the soldiers, including a young mother, emphasising their humanity and their predicament much more boldly than even US government hawks have been inclined to.
David Stubbs
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Meanwhile, for the nicotine-starved mini-attention-span-stricken among us, the new season of The OC continues apace on E4, thank God...
