Am I the only who's sad that Kudos are too busy to consider pitching a new drama for the slot that will be vacated by Neighbours come March? A teatime spin-off of Spooks would be too ace to contemplate, writes Gareth McLean.
Just imagine the potential of something like At Home with Ros Myers. Having just escaped drowning at the end of the last series, kick-ass super spy and mistress of the acid one-liner decides to reassess her priorities and becomes... a classroom assistant.
Coping with squabbling ten-year-olds by day, saving the world by night! Okay, so you couldn't have quite so much torture and the explosions might have to be a teensy bit smaller, what with the miniscule budget, but they could probably rustle them up in the Blue Peter kitchen.
But, like I say, Kudos are too busy. And this has left BBC1 honcho Peter 'Silver Fox' Fincham scrabbling around desperately. Not, I dare say, for the first time, given the parlous state of BBC1's schedules. The prosecution calls Dance X.
With an extra five episodes of EastEnders not an option, despite Fincham's letters to Santa Claus, rumours are he's looking at BBC Scotland soap, River City. Here's a tip - don't. Aside from a couple of stand-out characters - chief among them Roisin, who is barely understood south of Montrose, never mind south of Birmingham - it's full of bampots, dunderheids and glaikit-looking numpties. On the plus side, Isobel from Take the High Road and Mascius from Rome are in it.
Fincham's other choice is, apparently, Waterloo Road, albeit a watered down version. This is to say, without the suicide, stabbing, drug-taking and adultery that makes it at all interesting. But given no one watches it when it's on at 8pm, that seems unlikely to attract viewers at half five.
My money is on Doctors. It deservedly won a couple of gongs at the British Soap Awards, could do with the boost in its budget that a repeat at 5.35pm would surely warrant and features the sterling Stirling Gallacher, who any sane primetime soap producer would be madly courting to join their cast.
And Diane Keen. Yes! You Must Be The Husband's Diane Keen! Recently, she - or rather her character, Julia - got very interested in S&M sex until her gentlemen caller, who'd previously murdered a prossie (or two, I forget), was a little overzealous with the asphyxia and tried to murder her. (Obviously she was saved in the knickers of time).
Now, what else do you want of a teatime but a bit of S&M with a medical story of the day thrown in?
