Mothers can fall out with their teenage offspring because they stop liking the way they smell. This is from a study conducted by the Dresden University of Technology. I have been reflecting on what I smelled of as a teenager. I am pretty sure the overwhelming aroma round me was of cheap antiperspirants and colognes. Having seen Kevin Keegan advertise Brut, that was my first fragrance of choice. I complied all too willingly with the command to splash it all over.
The only smell I recall my mum having a view on was my feet. She was always badgering me to wash them in the bidet in our bathroom (yes, we had a bidet). I honestly did not realise bidets were for washing anything other than feet until I was well into my teens. My schoolmates who came for tea were also confused. More than once, they took it (not illogically) to be a junior toilet and weed in it.
When I was about 16, my only concern in life was getting served in pubs. This necessitated the development of facial hair and that meant shaving. Accordingly, I helped myself to one of Dad’s razors. It took me almost five seconds to erase all my bum fluff, and even less time to empty half his aftershave over my face. And so began what you might call my Yardley Gold years. This stuff made me feel mature and wonderful. I even started to get served in pubs, although by then I had passed my 18th birthday anyway. I stuck with it until I went off to college, where it was soon pointed out to me that I was wearing so much of it that my new friends could smell me coming. The Yardley Gold was ditched; adult life could commence.
