Loneliness is a deeply human experience, yet men often shy away from admitting when they feel it. A 2023 Gallup poll found that 25% of American men say that they feel lonely “a lot of the time” or “always.” Compared to only 18% of women, that is a substantial number of people who feel they’re alone in this world. It impacts mental health, relationships, and even their finances. What’s worse is that many men avoid talking about this feeling, causing them to miss out on potential support and connection. Taking the time to understand why men feel so lonely and why they are scared to admit this feeling can create more supportive environments. Here is a look at why so many guys are scared to admit that they are lonely.
Social Conditioning and Masculinity Norms
From a young age, many boys are taught to be strong, independent, and emotionally tough. Society often praises men for being stoic and discourages them from showing vulnerability. Admitting to being scared of loneliness clashes with these traditional ideas of masculinity. Men may feel that sharing these feelings makes them look weak or needy, so they keep quiet instead. This pressure to conform can make it almost impossible for some men to admit they’re scared of loneliness, even to themselves.
Fear of Judgment or Rejection
Men often worry about how others will perceive them if they open up about their fear of being alone. They might believe friends, family, or romantic partners will judge them, or even pull away. The fear of rejection can be powerful. For some, it’s easier to hide their feelings than risk being misunderstood or ridiculed. This creates a cycle where men continue to bottle up their emotions, making it harder to break the silence around loneliness.
Lack of Emotional Vocabulary
Many men simply aren’t given the tools to talk about their feelings. Without practice or encouragement, it’s tough to find the words to express complex emotions like loneliness. This lack of emotional vocabulary keeps men from admitting, even to themselves, that they’re scared of loneliness. They might experience frustration or sadness without realizing the root cause. It’s not just about stubbornness—it’s often about not knowing how to communicate what’s going on inside.
Cultural Expectations Around Independence
Independence is often seen as a core value for men. Admitting to loneliness can feel like confessing a failure to live up to this ideal. Men may worry that acknowledging their fear of loneliness means they aren’t self-sufficient or strong enough. This can be especially true in cultures that emphasize going it alone and solving problems without help. Unfortunately, these expectations can keep men isolated, even when they crave connection the most.
That said, this seems to change as men age. In fact, data shows that younger men actually report feeling less lonely than young women. Once they reach adulthood and beyond, men seem to pull away from social circles, focusing on independence and working on themselves.
The Stigma of Loneliness
Loneliness carries a stigma, and that stigma can be even heavier for men. People sometimes assume that lonely men must be unsuccessful, awkward, or lacking in some way. This negative framing makes it difficult for men to admit they’re scared of loneliness. Instead, they may try to mask it by staying busy, focusing on work, or even engaging in risky behaviors.
In a Reddit thread about loneliness, one user pointed out that men are just used to toughing it out. They wrote, “Loneliness is often studied as a feeling. It doesn’t matter if men have [fewer relationships] than women. If women and men report the same feeling of loneliness then it’s assumed the situation is the same. Men are used to [not complaining] when they suffer.” The stigma doesn’t just hurt men—it also prevents society from healthily addressing loneliness.
Impact of Technology and Social Media
On the surface, technology and social media seem to keep us all connected. But for many men, these tools can actually highlight feelings of isolation. Scrolling through feeds filled with happy groups and successful relationships can remind men of what they’re missing. Yet, social media rarely shows the full picture—most people don’t post about their struggles with loneliness. This digital disconnect can make men even more reluctant to admit they’re scared of loneliness, since everyone else seems to be doing just fine.
The Link Between Loneliness and Financial Health
Being scared of loneliness doesn’t just affect mental health—it can also impact finances. Lonely men may overspend to fill the void or avoid important financial conversations with partners because they fear conflict or rejection. In some cases, loneliness can lead to risky investments or poor money management. Recognizing and addressing the fear of loneliness can help men make better choices, both emotionally and financially.
Difficulty Seeking Help
Admitting to being scared of loneliness often means reaching out for help. For many men, this is easier said than done. There’s a common belief that asking for support is a sign of weakness. This mindset can prevent men from seeking therapy, joining support groups, or even talking to friends. Breaking this barrier is crucial for improving men’s well-being, but it requires a cultural shift.
What You Can Do If You Feel Lonely
Redditors pooled together some ideas about what to do when you feel lonely in the AskMen subreddit. Unfortunately, many of the ideas were things you do alone, such as working out, upskilling, or “just tanking it.” But there were some helpful ideas. Here are some things you might try.
- Go out to eat at a sports bar. Although you aren’t necessarily socializing, it sometimes feels less lonely by just getting out and being around people.
- Consider getting a furry friend. Pets can help you feel a little less lonely. Not to mention, if you bring your pet to a park, you might be able to make some new friends.
- Try your hand at gaming. Many people find supportive communities within the video game world.
- Painting or pouring yourself into other hobbies. You could go to a painting class and meet people, connecting over a shared interest.
- Treat yourself like you would treat a friend. Take yourself out, go to a movie, and be kind to YOU.
Moving Toward Openness and Connection
Understanding why men refuse to admit they’re scared of loneliness is the first step toward change. By challenging outdated norms and encouraging honest conversations, we can help men feel less isolated. It’s important to remember that everyone experiences loneliness at times—it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Creating space for men to express these feelings can lead to healthier relationships, better mental health, and wiser financial decisions. The fear of loneliness doesn’t have to be a secret.
Have you or someone you know struggled to admit being scared of loneliness? Share your thoughts or experiences in the comments below.
What to Read Next…
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- Why No One Talks About How Lonely Marriage Can Be For Men
- The Quiet Epidemic of Male Loneliness No One Profits From Fixing
The post Why Do Men Refuse to Admit They’re Scared of Loneliness? appeared first on Clever Dude Personal Finance & Money.
