Why can't Spiderman wash his own pants?

Photograph: Marvel

Behold, the official Mary Jane doll for Spiderman 3, with which Marvel Comics will in no way sell out any credibility they may be considered to retain following the franchise's demented pursuit of Mammon. In a recent interview to promote the film, Kirsten Dunst explained how Mary Jane had "evolved so much as a character". "I guess her journey," she mused, "is to find herself - and happiness - in a new way."

And frankly, it's hard to imagine a piece of injection-moulded plastic in which these values could be more perfectly crystallised.

Take a look at the thong riding up over MJ's low-rise jeans and ask yourself if she doesn't make the Bratz look like girls who dress for themselves, as opposed to for any unattached footballers who may be in the vicinity.

Yes, the doll draws on the fact that the only watchable thing in Spiderman was a body part. And yes, those of you who can tear your eyes away from it for a minute may care to know that just out of shot, on the figurine's stand, is a box of soap powder. But above all, the fact that Mary Jane is engaged in the business of handwashing Spiderman's work-soiled spandex provides a timely reminder of both the route to female happiness, and the enduring worth of any superpower that can't even sort its own laundry out.