Photograph: Marco Bottigelli/Getty Images (Posed by a model)
Name: Portugal.
Age: Founded 882 years ago.
Appearance: Incredibly desirable (if you’re American).
But I’m not American. Oh well, it’s still pretty great. You just don’t want to live there as much as Americans do.
I don’t understand. Why would Americans want to leave the US? I’m going to give you a couple of moments to go and read the news. Come back when you’re ready.
Oh my God, that place is a mess! So, now you know. If you were a US-dwelling American in the year 2025, there’s a very good chance that you would also want to emigrate.
But why Portugal specifically? Expatsi, a company that helps Americans move abroad, published the results of a test that matches users to various countries. And Portugal came out on top.
Should I take the test? Not really. The first question is “Why do you want to move abroad?” and one of the answers is “To avoid the threat of gun violence”, so let’s assume it’s pretty US-centric.
Again, why Portugal? Well, it ranks seventh in the Global Peace Index 2024, while the US comes 128th (sandwiched between Kenya and Ecuador). Portugal has universally accessible healthcare, a low cost of living, robust anti-discrimination laws and freedom of movement within the EU. And last year there were 89 murders in the entire country, compared to 16,935 in the US.
Wow, I’m sold. But there are so many other options. Second and third on the Expatsi list were Spain and Italy. While fourth and fifth were Canada and Mexico.
I’m starting to think Trump wants to build all those walls to keep people from leaving. The list also recommends that people should think about moving further afield, with Costa Rica, New Zealand and Australia taking up the sixth, seventh and eighth spots.
Still, this is just one list. That’s true. The UK-based Immigration Advice Service only ranks Portugal as the sixth most desirable place for Americans to move, with Ireland at number one. Interestingly, it puts the UK in third position.
Bad idea. Yes, I agree. Although are we saying you should avoid the UK because there’s no escaping Nigel Farage, or because Trump can’t keep away?
Honestly, both work. A recent piece in Forbes also suggested that Albania was a desirable location, based on its “welcoming policies, low cost of living and beautiful untouched nature” , while another website recommends Vietnam .
Americans have so many options! Well, yes, if you were ranked 128th out of 163 in the Global Peace Index, lots of places would look really nice in comparison. Maybe that’s the key: if you come from somewhere quantifiably disappointing, the world is your oyster.
Do say: “Portugal is the best place to go to escape the US.”
Don’t say: “Just ask all the Americans there.”
