The Simpsons is preparing to kill off one of its characters, in what is being dubbed – in slightly knee-jerk bandwagon-jumping terms (because this is the 2014 version of The Simpsons, after all) – The Yellow Wedding. How clever! Judging by the fact that the show has just recorded its lowest-ever ratings, this is quite simply a headline-grabbing gimmick.
But let's not think about why this is happening; what matters is who gets killed. The Simpsons has precedent here: Maude Flanders was killed by a stray T-shirt cannon in 2010. Edna Krabappel passed away following the death of Marcia Wallace, who voiced her, in October last year. Bleeding Gums Murphy died. Frank Grimes died. Homer's mother died. The woman Homer married drunk in Las Vegas died. The Simpsons even killed Elmo, the monsters. Who'll be next?
We'll start with what we know. Hank Azaria has revealed that none of his characters are for the chop. That means Apu and Moe are safe, as well as Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy and (thank heavens) Doctor Nick. And it would be ridiculous to imagine that any of the nuclear Simpsons family would be killed off. Not even Maggie, and she barely even does anything.
So that leaves us with hundreds of possibilities. Grandpa Simpson seems a likely candidate, given his advanced age. Then there's Sideshow Bob – not voiced by one of the main cast, remember – who has stalked death for so many years that his comeuppance is surely due. Barney Gumble's shift from alcoholism to sobriety and back again seems to deserve a haunting ending. On a similar note, Nelson Muntz has made so many allusions to his troubled and impoverished upbringing that an onscreen death should bring exactly the level of heartbreaking pathos that viewers of a funny cartoon about funny yellow people with funny voices expect to see.
Of course, most amateur detectives will know to keep one beady eye firmly fixed on the movements of Ned Flanders. He's becoming something of a serial widower, having now seen off Maude and Edna in relatively short succession. Any woman who becomes romantically entangled with Flanders is basically signing her own death sentence. Patty and Selma, for god's sake stay away from this man. He's evil.
Which Simpsons character do you think will be bumped off? Anyone you'd like to see go in shocking Game of Thrones fashion? Leave your theories below.
