Staying the course ... Jess and Laura in The Restaurant. Photograph: BBC
I can't believe The Restaurant is closing tonight: where did the last eight weeks go? Like many viewers, I hoped the show would fill the Apprentice-shaped hole in my viewing schedule. The opening instalment seemed like the usual reality TV junk food dressed up as a gourmet Marks & Spencer ready meal. I went back for a second helping and have been addicted ever since.
And being a fan is quite a commitment: there's been an hour on Wednesday and another on Thursday. There's even a scab-picking show over on BBC3, where pundits sift through the wreckage of the contestants' weekly challenge (incidentally I'd like to shake hands with the person who named it You're Fried, riffing on The Apprentice's sister show You're Fired). But unlike other foodie shows such as Gordon Ramsay's The F-Word, The Restaurant has been careful not to give everyone a headache by cramming in too many random ingredients.
So, we've had swirling aerial shots of the countryside instead of the city, slick production values and - strangely - snippets from the music to Terrence Malick's Badlands. But there have been fewer panto moments than The Apprentice. I miss the occasional hissy-fits of jazz drummer Sam, whose cabaret wife always seemed to do all the work. But I was glad to see the back of Nicola, a simmering pot of tension who couldn't help spit a catty remark about Raymond on her exit. Monsieur Blanc won't be invited to her restaurant, she announced. "Ooh you cow!" carped her son Tom.
But The Restaurant has been predominantly nice not nasty, sweet not sour - there hasn't been an out-and-out villain like The Apprentice's Katie. "I want to inspire and create, to believe in people, not bully, humiliate and crush them," says Raymond. Which is a nice sentiment, but doesn't sound as satisfying as a good old Sugar-style boardroom roasting. In the first weeks, contestants would regularly lose money and keep guests waiting hours for starters. But when they entered Raymond's chambers they'd be told - under dim lights and in his unhurried, dulcet tones - that they should just try harder. What did they have to do to get a rise out of Raymond? Urinate in the soup?
But in recent episodes, Blanc has displayed considerable stealth and had the couples sweating under their aprons. Last week, he turned up unannounced at the restaurants of the semi-finalists and patrolled the kitchens, ruthlessly searching for incriminating evidence and emerging triumphant with a box of mouldy raspberries from Jess and Laura's fridge.
In tonight's grand finale, the two remaining couples not only have to impress Raymond, they've also got to cook for his mum. A terrifying proposition. So who'll come out on top? I've tipped Jess and Laura since the opening episode: they serve up tasty-looking, healthy food at a fair price, despite lumbering the dishes with naff names. In the other kitchen, there's blundering but charming Marine chef Jeremy and blubbering but increasingly cheer-worthy Jane. The success of their Eight in the Country restaurant is either testament to Jeremy's skills in the kitchen or the bottomless wallets of some of the villagers in their region.
So... I'll go for Jess and Laura. Who's your money on - and who do you wish made the final? I suppose the real winner is Monsieur Blanc whose coffers will be ringing thanks to all this free publicity and who has emerged as a thoroughly nice chap. I love his misty-eyed reminiscences about his first gastronomic experiences as a child. And it's nice to respect a celebrity chef rather than want to throw them in the deep-fat fryer.
