Margaret Thatcher
“You turn if you want to. The lady’s not for turning.”
I literally just turned around. Nothing happened. Big whoop.
1/10
David Cameron
“I watched, for the 17th and hopefully the last time, The Guns of Navarone on New Year’s Eve. I always watch just in case the explosives don’t go off in the end.”
We get it Dave, you like explosions. Calm down.
1/10
Ed Miliband
“Am I tough enough? Hell, yes, I’m tough enough.”
An especially poor effort, especially given that Miliband said it in the voice of the kid from that McCain oven chips advert.
2/10
David Steel
“Go back to your constituencies, and prepare for government!”
Apparently some of his audience are still at home preparing for government, like those Japanese soldiers who didn’t know the war ended.
2/10
Boris Johnson
“No one obeys the speed limit except a motorised rickshaw.”
In an ideal world, Boris would have left a pause after “limit”, put on his aviators, finished the quote and then sped off on his motorbike to the strains of Bad to the Bone, leaving a befuddled policeman in his wake. But still, points for trying.
6/10
Ronald Reagan
“When you can’t make them see the light, make them feel the heat.”
Like Boris, this quote needed an ellipsis, a flip-down welder’s mask and a blowtorch for it to really pop.
6/10
George W Bush
“Every nation in every region now has a decision to make. Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists.”
It’s the “in every region” that seals this one. Scandinavia, Bush is looking right at you.
7/10
Hillary Clinton
“I can’t stand whining.”
This is Clinton as Alan Sugar at the start of The Apprentice, and therefore more terrifying than she’s ever been.
7/10
Winston Churchill
“We shall fight on the beaches.”
Have you ever tried to fight someone on a beach? All that sand means you can’t really get enough purchase. Churchill really meant business here.
8/10
Vladimir Putin
“Russia doesn’t negotiate with terrorists. It destroys them.”
This is how you do it. Chilling.
9/10
Silvio Berlusconi
“When asked if they would like to have sex with me, 30% of women said ‘yes’, while the other 70% replied: ‘What, again?’”
Legitimately, the scariest words ever spoken by a politician. Obama, you never stood a chance.
10/10
