Age: 33.
Appearance: Blond hair, looking sideways, mildly amused, surrounded by pictures of some dog.
How unusual. Tell me, what are these pictures attached with? Tape? Paperclips? Ah. No. I'm talking about her Twitter page, where the dog appears.
I see. Next question: why are you talking about her Twitter page where the dog appears? Because she used it to make Chris Brown angry.
The noted musician and girlfriend-beater? That's him.
Isn't he always angry? Not quite this angry. It began when he tweeted: "I look as old as fuck! I'm only 23 …"
Fishing for compliments. Textbook insecurity. Yes, but it kind of backfired, because Johnson replied: "I know! Being a worthless piece of shit can really age a person."
Goodness. Do people on Twitter always swear this much? Some do, I'm afraid, and worse. Next, Brown invited Johnson to have a kind of sex with him, calling her a "hoe".
That's no insult! It's an essential part of any gardener's toolkit. Yes, but I think he meant "ho", the abusive term for a woman. Johnson pointed this out.
That must have made him furious. I hate it when someone corrects my spelling. Indeed. He wasn't happy. First, he suggested they have various other kinds of sex, then he left Twitter completely, deleting his account.
Strange man. Does he plan to give up music and hitting people too? I've got nothing on that, as yet. Although many of his fans retaliated by sending Johnson rude remarks and death threats of various kinds.
The mature response to any setback. And who exactly is this Johnson character? She's someone who makes jokes on Twitter.
That's a job now, is it? I think so. She lives in Texas. She used to be a television news producer. Now she mostly spends her time making dirty jokes and being rude to Kim Kardashian and Chris Brown.
It's entrepreneurs like that who will revive the world economy. If you say so.
Do say: "Thanksgiving is the only time of year when Amish people's clothes seem fun and festive."
Don't say: "This is a victory for trolls everywhere."
