Stock in a rut ... the first Oxo TV advert, screened in 1983. Photograph: PA
From first hand experience I know that multi-racial families can be just as loving, smug and insufferable as their Wasp-ish counterparts. So hats off to Oxo for the decision to update their much-loved TV family with a younger multicultural mob. Times change and demographics with them and rebranding is a survival essential in advertising. If the advertiser is a snake (not much of a stretch) then think of the new version as him shedding his skin to reveal the slick new branding beneath.
But why stop at the suburban hell of the Oxo family? I've taken time out to rebrand some advertising classics. I've gone for a very now demographic with a totally modern paradigm and a vibe that's very 2007. See what you think.
The Milky Bar Kid doesn't go for the Cowboys and Indians motif these days. It's safe to say that Homie Don't Play That Shit. He now listens to Gallows, wears a hoodie and instead of handing out bars he just sprays his 'Milkee Boi' tag on the side of the community centre. After being hassled by 5-0 he skateboards home for a self-mutilation session with sharpened foil from a Milky Bar wrapper.
The Gold Blend couple are no longer the smirking, eyebrow-raising children of Thatcher, indulging in almost amusing romantic misunderstandings. They are now twentysomething fuckbuddies who never actually meet, just spend their entire time on Facebook and having caffeine-fuelled cybersex on MSN:
Woman: "Would you like to put your filter in my percolator?" Man: "I'd really like to grind your beans." Woman: "Sometimes, I prefer it Instant." Man: "Are we still talking about coffee?" Woman: "Yes." Man: "Oh."
The Nimble balloon girl The girl who flies like a bird in her balloon is still around but she now supplements her one slice of Nimble a day with three bottles of laxatives and appetite suppressants. Today's Nimble girl sees starvation as a valid lifestyle choice and is a thinspiration to aspirational size zero girls everywhere.
Happiness Is A Cigar Called Hamlet adverts now have to take place in the pub alleyway due to the smoking ban. In one particularly poignant advert, the hapless dude of yore absent-mindedly lights up at the bar and is dragged out by bouncers and beaten to death with a tin of pineapple chunks as the sad music plays
So which other advertising classics need updating? Check this run-down of the commercial canon if you're struggling for ideas. Don't let those Oxo chumps steal a march on you with their ultra-contemporary cube crumbling.
