Don't worry ... the guy who put this picture together has already been promoted Photo montage: Getty/James Anthony
Never trust an ice-cream man. Three weeks ago, in what I consider to be a career-defining piece of journalism, I interviewed Jerry "Ben & Jerry" Greenfield and, during the half-hour interview, asked him which stars he would consider allowing to follow in the footsteps of the Dave Matthews Band and Phish. Both of those acts have been immortalised with ice-cream flavours, so who would be next?
His answers were vague and today I found out that he was deliberately holding back the earth-shattering news that Elton John is due to launch his own flavour of Ben & Jerry's called ... Yellow Brickle Road.
Why did Jerry not tell me? Was it all a secret? Did he not trust me? It's all very distressing, but it does at least provide a kickstart for the long-awaited Elton John dessert range. In my mind, I'd like this to include a selection of items including Sorbet Seems to Be the Hardest Word, Someone Saved My Life Ton(Angel Del)ight and I Guess That's Why They Calippo It the Blues.
But Elton John needn't monopolise (or "monopol-ice"!) this exciting new revenue stream for artists who, in this era of the 360-deal, could make more money through selling ice-cream than through record sales. Jerry, if you're reading this, please consider the following:
1. RAISIN MURPHY The former Moloko frontwoman launches her own brand of ice-cream that is available in a tub manufactured to resemble a massive, stupid hat.
2. ALPHABEATY SPAGHETTI In the ice cream-world, success is based on taking risks and in 2008 the time is right for ice-cream with bits of pasta and tomato sauce in it. Let's hope its unusual taste doesn't provoke 10,000 Nights of Chunder! (er, Alphabeat's second single was called 10,000 Nights of Thunder).
3. THAT'S NUT MY NAME Unpleasant for the first few minutes, incredibly moreish by the end.
4. 99 FLAKE PROBLEMS "I'm not having that for pudding" - Noel Gallagher.
5. PETE DOUGHERTY It's got some cookie dough in it, and some crack.
Yes. These are all definitely brilliant ideas for ice-creams. But I can't help but wonder whether Guardian.co.uk viewers might have any hilarious and/or poignant musical ice-cream ideas of their own.
