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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Entertainment
David Renshaw

'Where is the money in a coin?': five times Philomena Cunk blew our minds

Philomena Cunk.
Philomena Cunk AKA Diane Morgan: Screenwipe star turned Shakespeare buff.

Philomena Cunk has been given her own show about Shakespeare. Having established herself as a font of absurdist wisdom and a sort of philosophical Paxman through her interviews on Charlie Brooker’s Weekly Wipe series, Cunk (AKA character comic Diane Morgan) will be covering the Bard as the BBC celebrates his 400th birthday later this year.

So what makes her right to tell his story? Well, as she’s unafraid to ask the big questions like “Why do we cry when it’s the onions getting hurt?” and “Where does your lap go when you stand up?”, Cunk has already proven herself to be one of TV’s most elevated minds. See for yourself via these greatest hits.

Feminism

Philomena Cunk on feminism.

Charting the history of feminism through the suffrage movement, Cunk discusses Emily Davison throwing herself in front of the king’s horse at the Epsom Derby in 1913. “They [women] did this partly to highlight how unfair it was that women didn’t have a vote and horses did,” Cunk says in her Ali G style, “and also because, being women, they really liked ponies.” She then speaks to LSE professor Mary Evans, an expert in gender studies; things veer off course as Evans is asked: “What powers a mirror” in a discussion about equality.

Time

Philomena Cunk on time.

Having visited “Greenwich Clock Museum”, Cunk speaks to “science man” Stuart Clark, a fellow of the Royal Astronomical Society. He tells her that time flows like water in a river and that moments in our life are the things floating in it. However, he adds, it could also be a psychological thing. Basically, nobody knows. Not even the experts. “It’ll always be an unknowable mystery,” she says, “like how a telephone works.”

Money

Philomena Cunk on money.

“UK government debt is now one trillion pounds and even Wonga can’t help,” says Cunk as she turns her hand to finance. Painting a grim picture of the current monetary situation, she turns to political economist Will Hutton to explain things further. As she dives into fiscal mysteries such as “Where is the money in a coin?”, barely contained bafflement threatens to violently spill from his face.

Computers

Philomena Cunk on computers.

Beautifully skewering the banal scene-setting in TV documentaries, Cunk opens this segment on technology by asking: “Are we looking at the computers or are the computers looking at us?” She proceeds to get a computer expert to say “encephalograms” four times, and learns about advances in computer science that could render your mouse redundant. “You can sense, to an extent, what someone is thinking,” he says of the new advances. “Like Derren Brown?” Cunk suggests, before being told that computing is not quite that advanced yet. “Paul McKenna,” she decides instead.

Donald Trump

Philomena Cunk on Donald Trump.

Cunk’s take on the possible future Potus focuses initially on what sits atop his head. “It’s not hair,” she points out. “It’s like a furry gas.” She also establishes what makes him popular among Republican voters: an unrivalled cruel streak. Referencing his comments on women, Mexicans, Muslims and “John McClane”, Cunk points out matter-of-factly that Trump rallies look like footage taken from a future documentary that will be set to ominous music. This, finally, is her secret weapon: mimicking the amused but nihilistic mood that we all fall prey to when watching current affairs.

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