Radio Times has gone all Interview magazine on us. Instead of just printing a nice sycophantic interview with Bruce Forsyth, they've had Jeremy Vine write a nice sycophantic interview with Bruce Forsyth for them.
Up close, I look at the narrowing line of the Forsyth jaw, the Roman nose, chin like an inverted mountain. The lines of his face are so sharp you could slice metal with them.
This stuff gives Raymond Chandler a run for his money. Why, why, why doesn't Vine enter more often into the print arena? Preferably with a story of quick-witted, heavy-drinking detectives in White City.
But it is unfair to suggest that the piece is all about Vine. Indeed, quite a lot of it is about Forsyth.
He reveals an interest in politics:
I rang...to ask for a tape of the Prime Minister's Questions I'd missed, but when I said my name, the woman who answered thought it was a crank call. Then they realised it really was me
And an interest in make-up, as he instructs the woman employed to powder him for the Radio Times photoshoot (yes):
You need to get definition here, look, because my eyes are small.
What really comes across in these quotes and a whole lot more (available at all good news agents for just £1) is that Brucie is very well aware of his status as a National Treasure. Some people may wonder whether longevity alone really makes him deserve it. Brucie himself, however, is in little doubt. And Vinie, as we'll have it from now on, may indulge him, but he doesn't let it go by without comment. Even if it does take a bit of a snub to provoke the most telling anecdote:
'Do you have an email?' I ask as he walks away, thinking we might stay in touch. He hesitates. 'No...well...er, hey,' he calls. 'Give me that line again!''Bruce, do you have an email?'
'No, I'm far too famous.'
The line is delivered...and I don't know if it's funny or not, but we all laugh.
