Oprah Winfrey is visiting India, and during her trip plans to interview the self-help guru Deepak Chopra. How might their conversation go?
Oprah: Let us walk together to spread our blessings among the slum-dwellers.
Deepak: Don't get too close. Some of them are very dirty.
Oprah: Don't worry, I've got gloves and minders ... Behold, little people, I feel your pain.
Deepak: There is no need for pain. Perfect health is a matter of choice. With a balanced dosha, I can offer eternal life. You must find the place within yourself where nothing is impossible.
Oprah: Go for it, little people. You've got to search for the hero inside yourself. I did and look where it got me ...
Deepak: We are each a localised field of energy and information with cybernetic feedback loops interacting within a non-local field of energy and information.
Oprah: That is just so true, Deepak. Happy thoughts equal happy molecules! And if any of you little people have also had any personal experience of quantum consciousness, please call me on GURU-333333. Calls cost just 70,000 rupees a minute.
Deepak: Truly, I am spent. I have exhausted myself.
Oprah: Me too, Deepak. One can only give so much of oneself.
Deepak: You are wise beyond your years, my child. Do me the honour of coming to my gated mansion to meditate with me.
Oprah: It would be an honour.
Deepak: That will be $20,000.
Oprah: That's peanuts.
Deepak: I can throw them in for the same price.
Oprah: No thanks. I'd rather have a chicken balti.
