“Amazing!” she said, as I handed her a tin of cat food. This was the young woman who looks after my neighbour’s cat when he’s away. I was running an errand. It’s nice to be appreciated, but the routine handing over of a tin of cat food is not, in anyone’s book, amazing. What if I’d bought half a dozen tins of cat food? How much more amazing would that have been? Or a dozen tins, a cat bed, a scratching post, and £500 in cash? “Amazing!” wouldn’t cut it; I suppose an “absolutely” would have had to go in front of it. If I threw in some high-end cat treats, I suppose that would necessitate doubling up the adverbs, with a “completely” or some such.
Where is language going? Once upon a time there would have been a “thanks” or “thank you” for the cat food. Bigger gestures might elicit a “thank you very much” and, on special occasions, a “thank you very much indeed” might have been wheeled out. Now the game’s gone, I tell you. We go straight to “amazing”. Or “awesome”. In both cases, as usual, I think we’re on safe ground blaming the Americans. They too, surely, are behind “thank you so much”. It’s now used so often that the “so much” adds nothing; it’s just a standard thank you.
Having disparaged the Americans, I do have a wry liking for Ted Lasso’s: “I appreciate you.” Nice, although I’ve not been brave enough to use it yet. The closest I came was last week when a locksmith called Tony played a blinder for me. He turned up in a flash, was nice to my furious daughter and hungry dog, got them into my place and fixed the knackered lock. I tried for an “I appreciate you,” but it wouldn’t come out. “You’re amazing,” I said.
Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster, writer and Guardian columnist
