So after Dave said I heart Corbyn was the only possible theme for #No10summapartaay2k15 Whittingdale sourced this amaze anti-austerity swing band & Liz Truss did anti-austerity nibbles & the dress code was open-necked shirt over an austerity Corbyn vest (nawt really) & there was anti-austerity champagne out of jam jars, Mummy said it was literally like being in Islington, non-swank it was totes brilliant except God I said to Dave, when did Boris the whiny crybaby start being a thing?
Poor Nancy was like, but Dad, you said he would LOVE us to soak him with our soakers & Elwen went plus Dad I remembered to shout Achtung – hier kommt die Wasserwerfer 9000, just like you told me, Dave’s like that’s my boy, the mayor is famous for his love of borderline racist pleasantries, btw, you did go Buller Buller Buller before the debagging? Elwen’s like, totally, just before we got his trousers off & aimed the double drench, gosh you should have heard him squeal like a girl! Dave’s like, & you defo asked him if he’d brought his friend Ashley Madison, Nancy’s like, well obvs, then we shouted bantz so why did he tell everyone to fuck off & die, dad?
Dave’s like, I am sorry to say that everything we thought we knew about Boris’s GSOH was wrong, Nancy’s like, it jolly well serves him right for calling you a girly swot, Dave’s like *FOI face* where did you read that, tell Daddy where & Govey will put in a call to Mr Straw :)))
So now we are literally shattered & it is practically *joyful emoticon face* no sleeps until the holidays & Dave has not even begun to pack his carry-on tote? I’m like next time plz canunot confront the struggle of our generation JUST before we go away for a month, he’s like, excuse me babes, those seagulls pose a deadly & direct threat, I’m like *sighs* so which book are you taking? He’s like, literally everyone keeps raving about The Secret Garden, I’m like well Sarah Govey is totes stuck & IDS says it is way too dry #bless but I have packed the colouring pencils just in case, he’s like, well we do not want to crease it, just put it inside that copy of Napoleon the Great #no10ontour2k15 :)))
