Well Mummy rang in a total state, she’s like darling we have never been so confused, nobody knows what to do, could you possibly check with your brilliant Mr Cobber, is it warm enough for bare legs yet or should we stick with tights? I’m like, what do you think Mr Cobber, he’s like, WTF, stop messing with my frigging head Sabrina, tell the ladies stick with the long-term plan that has got their legs safely through the winter and allow the effing tights to finish the job, Dave’s like, are you sure Lynton, it seems quite warm today, Mr Cobber’s like, stick to what you know mate we’re not talking about Game of fricking Thrones, btw fashion advice is charged at an additional £25,000 plus VAT per hour, now if you don’t mind some of us have got invoices to write.
Dave’s like, sorry to be a bore Lynton, but have we nearly had the crossover yet? Mr Cobber’s like, ooh, long word for you Dave, leave it to Lynton, after tomorrow’s Mail exclusive – how fatty Sturgeon shed 10 stone – your crossover will look more like a frigging landslide. Dave’s like you genius, Lynton, how? Mr Cobber’s like, the English baby diet, one each for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Dave’s like, wow, I thought that was Miliband, do they belong to the same club? Lynton’s like, close mate, one key difference, Sturgeon is the devil incarnate.
I’m like, well that explains all the red, Emily said someone should tell her there is more than one colour #hilair but who knew she was literally channelling Satan? Mr Cobber’s like, and if Miliband beats Dave, Sturgeon’s first move will be a Faustian pact, extorting one Labour soul for every act of SNP support #rampant #blackmail #harrowing #merry hell #chilling #matchmadeinhell #livingdeath.
I’m like, but what will happen to fashion if Nicola *crosses self* Sturgeon *touches wood* takes over, should I warn Vogue, what about me, will the investment tote still be thing? He’s like, you joking, look in the Mail, if Labour gets in you ladies are not just waving goodbye to an independent nuclear deterrent, its adios upscale accessories, think about it, have you ever seen Sturgeon with a handbag #harrowing #chilling #matchmadeinhell #livingdeath?
