Toni and Gretchen are the “it” couple of their all-female prep school. They know that they are perfect for each other and everyone else agrees. They had planned to go to Boston together for university to follow Toni’s Harvard dream; however this unravels as Gretchen reveals that she’s been accepted to her dream school in New York. They think that they will make it work but when Toni begins to question her gender identity and Gretchen is left wondering who she is without Toni, their perfect relationship becomes strained. What We Left Behind is a story of two people who must figure out where they fit in each others lives.
This is the first book I’ve read that goes into so much detail about gender identity and still manages to treat it with the utmost sensitivity and respect. I don’t know how much experience Robin Talley has with the trans and genderqueer community but her level of understanding and clarity is astounding. Toni goes through a journey of meeting people with similar experiences questioning their gender identity – some have fully transitioned, others are taking hormones and some are beginning to come out to their parents. Toni herself is figuring out how she feels about pronouns and the gender binary. I finished the book with a much broader perspective on some of the issues genderqueer and trans people face, such as being misgendered and struggling to find gender neutral toilets. This made it so much more interesting and unique as there really aren’t that many books that talk about gender issues in this much detail, though I hope this will change soon.
The book revolves around the uncertainty that Toni and Gretchen face while they are apart but this felt rather dragged out and there were long boring periods where the characters were sulking about their circumstances. It was important to show their character development otherwise the plot would fall flat, however it would have been more effective if it moved a lot faster! There would be whole sections where the characters, especially Gretchen, would be worrying and stressing over the same things over and over. This really damaged my motivation to read it and as a result it took a while to get through. It’s a great concept but the structuring of the novel is a bit strange.
Toni is definitely a much more likeable character than Gretchen and her chapters seem to flow a lot better, but both are well drawn out and have a lot of chemistry together. There are quite a few secondary characters considering the book only focuses on the two central characters but it seems to work fairly well. There are points where you have to flick back to check who this character is, but Robin Talley manages to avoid overcomplicating the book or under-developing characters.
Though this book has some flaws, it’s still a really thoughtful and cool book. I’d recommend it if you’re looking for a book exploring how relationships can change as people grow up and find out more about themselves. It took me a while to read due to some boring sections but there were certainly parts that I really enjoyed. I’m sure Robin Talley will go on to write more incredibly thoughtful and awesome books in the future and I’m really excited to read them!
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