Writing a sympathy card can seem a daunting task. We want to reach out and express our condolences, but we don’t want to write the wrong thing.
It’s hard to know how to express our sympathy and support through only a few words.
We ponder what to write, trying to think of something comforting to say with our pen hovering over the card, not wanting to get it wrong.
The pressure mounts the longer we think of the right words. The last thing the family want at a time of grief is to receive a card with crossed out scribbles or a jumbled mess of words.
It’s never something we want to write but it’s important that we do.
When the time comes that you need to sit down and write a sympathy card, we’ve put together some thoughtful messages to help you express the right words.
Thoughtful messages to write
- Sending you lots of love and comfort, we are so sorry for your loss
- My thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time
- May you find comfort in knowing you are not alone, you are surrounded by those who care for you
- I’m deeply sorry your family is experiencing the pain of a loss like this. My heart goes out to each of you
- Words can’t express the loss of (name). Know that I’m here for you and your family in these difficult times when you need anything
- I can’t express how much (name) meant to me over the years. (Name) always brought so much light into the lives of those around him/her. My condolences to you and your wonderful family
- Please know I am here to listen, comfort, and lean on during this difficult time
- May all of your happy memories give you peace and comfort during this challenging time
- Our hearts are saddened to learn of your loss, please know we are here for you
- We were surprised and saddened to hear about (name) passing. We’re going to miss (name) so much
- Sending hugs and best wishes during this difficult time
- Wishing you peace to bring comfort, courage to face the days ahead and loving memories to forever hold in your hearts
- What an amazing person and what a remarkable life. I feel so lucky that I got to know (name)
- I’ll remember (name) in many positive ways, with a big smile and a great sense of humour
- Thinking of you all as you celebrate (name) remarkable life
- Holding you close in my thoughts and hoping you are doing OK
- I'm here to support you, no matter what time of day it is. Thinking of you always and sharing my deepest sympathies with you as you go through this hardship.
What to avoid in a sympathy card
When writing a sympathy card there are a few words or phrases that are good to avoid.
Wanting to bring comfort, support and sympathy, we must also be careful that the card does not minimise their loss or make them feel worse.
Such things as “what a terrible loss”, dwells on the lost and heartache they are already feeling, you want to try and bring comfort to them.
“He/She was so young”, this could become a painful reminder for them, instead share memories of the life they had and the enjoyment they brought into your life.
It is best to avoid talking about your own experiences with grief such as, “I know how you feel” everyone experiences and processes grief differently.
Telling them that the person “is in a better place now” is never comforting to hear for someone you’ve lost, they’re grieving for the life they had, share special stories with them instead.
Think about the person before you write the card, the relationship you had with them, what they brought into your life and how you might would like to share this with others.
It can bring happiness and comfort to families or friends who have lost someone, hearing about special memories you made with them or who they were as a person.
Be yourself when writing the card, use the above suggestions to help, personalise these to the person and they’ll help you express the right words offering your condolences.
