Q: You've decided to cancel your wedding. How do you let family and friends know? What about the financial implications?
First, tell your family members, especially if they've been participating in the financial aspects of the wedding.
Next, review contracts you've signed. The vendors have every right to stick to their contracted terms. Often, if you're canceling because it's a health issue or something beyond your control, they'll be more forgiving and flexible.
If everyone has been invited and begun making travel arrangements, call or email them. This task can be delegated depending on the circumstances, whom is related to whom, and who decided to break off the engagement.
You'll need to return all of the gifts. Try to get a crew of people together who can help with this task. For anything that can't be returned, thank the giver for the effort by sending a thank-you note and perhaps a reciprocal gift or a dinner.
Don't feel you need to give reasons and excuses, but you do need to apologize for the inconvenience.
_ Viva Max Kaley, wedding planner and creator of VivaMaxWeddings.com
Tell the financer of the wedding as soon as possible, whether it's mom, dad, Aunt Suzie or Cousin Tom.
Keep it simple. You don't have to tell them every detail. The more the person was going to contribute to funding the wedding, the more information they should be told. In person is much better. (We have heard of people texting this information).
Give them the top three reasons you are calling it off, apologize and tell them that you are willing to pay them back.
The ramifications of not speaking up sooner are this: You are responsible for all required upcoming expenses. Paying this money now is a whole lot cheaper than a divorce later.
Lastly, ask for or give the ring back. If you aren't getting married, there is no reason for the person to keep the ring.
_ Scott and Bethany Palmer, financial experts who coach couples through their business themoneycouple.com
