At a charity dinner in New York on Thursday night, standup comedians - sorry, presidential candidates Barack Obama and Mitt Romney had the crowd roaring with a sparkling line in not-remotely-unscripted gags. At one point Obama joked that he wished he could go by his middle name, like Romney (whose first name is Willard). This is of course a somewhat taboo subject, as Obama's middle name is Hussein.
Aside from replacing a first name that you don't like, what exactly is a middle name for? Some cultures have set naming conventions, but if you have free rein as a parent, how do you choose one? There's the "nod to a member of the family who we must commemorate/express our love for/placate lest they cut us out of the will" middle name, which must account for a fair few unfortunate babies saddled with names last in favour around the end of the Victorian era.
Then there's the "Yes, I know you adore X famous person, but no way are we naming our child after them, are you MAD? Oh God, OK, if you must, have the middle one" route. A survey in the office this morning revealed a colleague's flatmate has the middle name La Toya for this reason. Yes, really.
And of course there's the "I lost a bet/was drunk at the registry office/it'll be a nice talking point in job interviews" school of thought. Another colleague, who shall remain nameless, gave her son the middle name Vuvuzela. It was during the 2010 World Cup, and we can only assume it seemed like a good idea at the time. In her defence, apparently "vuvuzela" means "celebration" as well as being the world's most annoying plastic horn.
Share your sad stories of a lifetime saddled with middle-moniker ridicule, or entertaining tales of why you gave your offspring a name that might sound a bit silly in English but means "the gentle glow of morning dew on a rose" in Swahili, so it's beautiful really.
