What’s the shortest joke? What’s the smallest ratio of words to laughter possible? Roy Mapplethorpe, Swindon
Send new questions to nq@theguardian.com.
Readers reply
Free briefcase, no catches. Buck_Conroy
Budgies, going cheap. Mobilepope
ε<0 is a hoot among first-year maths students. So the characters/laughs ratio has at least a hard-to-beat denominator. annamayo
Impossible to answer, because different people will laugh (or not) at the same thing for different lengths of time. smellthecoffee101
It’s the way you tell ’em! JekonGregory
Venison’s dear. I claim the prize for brevity. JohntheFinn
Origami’s secrets? Twofold. yoshiboy
Bogies. Arwyn_
Rowan Atkinson was hilarious just saying the word “Bob”. CaressOfSteel
What’s brown and sticky? A stick. justaguest
What’s warm and slippery? A slipper. PunCrock
What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh confused23
Beakless budgie succeeds. Turgid
Ryvita. That’s a cracker. wd_reader
The official shortest joke, in English at least, is: Pretentious? Moi? WanderingTraveller
Velcro. What a rip off! sharrieelisabeth
What’s the smallest ratio of words to laughter? Zero. Just watch any classic silent movie, for example Charlie Chaplin. PeeJayDee
Two elephants fall off a cliff. Boom! Boom! Woodian
Two elephants fly off a cliff. Jumbo jets.
Two elephants perch on your finger. Jumbo pets.
Two elephants circle a picnic. Jumbo pests.
There’s probably more of these but I will spare you. Too late!, you cry. BlipBlap
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman says: “Is this a joke?” nodupecomensarlo
Cork man drowns. TheLightKnight
What’s the shortest joke? UK democracy. 1Love1Heart
The longest joke, surely? It started with the Magna Carta and we’re still waiting for the punchline. Redredemptionist
Truss. Too many readers to mention
Werewolf? There wolf! Backsideflip
Yaroooo! That’s a howler. BlipBlap
