Everyone has virtues they swear by, and these often shape opinions. Sometimes we wholeheartedly agree, and other times, we’ll argue a “wrong” one into oblivion.
Today, we’re taking a look at what our community had to say about the hills they’re willing to die on—even if others don’t agree. Their answers range from disliking cheese to standing up for women’s rights.
To better understand the psychology behind our firmly held beliefs and whether they are set in stone, Bored Panda reached out to Prof. Dr. Hab. Wojciech Kulesza, a social psychologist, who kindly shared his insights on the topic below.
#1
Every woman should be able to get an abortion, if she thinks, for whatever reason, she needs to have it.
First of all, we asked Wojciech to explain why people tend to stick to their beliefs, even if it means being judged or left out by others.
He wrote: “We call it the psychology of attitudes. Once the attitude is created, it is very hard to
change it, even when faced with the contrary and strong arguments that ‘should’ change our perspective.
For example, we may perceive our marriage as a good and strong one, but the observer could deliver strong arguments to change our perception (the partner is toxic, is cheating, is abusive).
Strangely, it is better for our self-perception to disregard that new and valid information, rather than to admit that our attitude and decisions based on that were wrong. In some special circumstances, we call it cognitive dissonance: whilst to change one’s opinion, we change the arguments to support the wrong and previously formed attitude.”
#2
Pets are family members and should be treated as such. Living on a chain outside or permanently crated is just not acceptable. Feed should include quality food (not tinned muck). If you can't afford vet bills (when they occur) then don't have pets - they need medical care just as much as humans.
#3
I feel like something that I will always have a passion for is just preservation of nature. People seeming scared of insects or bugs or just outright harming certain places is always unthinkable to me, and just something that I will never think about doing.
Another area would probably just be preservation of old literature and works, as well as not censoring work; someone's work should be able to read by everyone for all eternity.
We were wondering how people balance the need to fit in with others and the need to stay true to their own opinions, to which Wojciech responded: “Sometimes it is hard to speak of ‘true opinions.’ As described above, they are so easily and often irrationally formed. As much (also ours) research shows, we often cheat ourselves to perceive our decisions and opinions as better in comparison with others. These effects are coined ‘better than average’ and ‘unrealistic optimism.’
For example, even though one could die from not vaccinating oneself against COVID-19, while others are doing so by taking the shots, s/he can find many (often unrealistic) reasons to support a very dangerous decision (I am young and strong) while disregarding very well grounded other reasons (even young people die). We do so because we like to perceive ourselves as reasonable and intelligent.
Strangely, changing opinion is often perceived as weak and being under an influence. That is why we tend to stand strong supporting our previous claims.”
#4
You are not allowed to dictate what other people (or their children) read. If you don't want to read about X, Y, Z...I respect that choice. There are plenty of other topics out there. You don't want your kids to read X, Y, Z? You're the parental figure. You're in charge. But you don't get to come into libraries (or schools, or stores, etc) to demand a blanket ban of everything you personally find objectionable.
#5
Writing properly and speaking properly is important. Sure, everyone drops an occasional "u" or "wyd" in a text, but this is unacceptable in any other sort of written communication. If you're uncertain of how to spell a word, don't guess; spellcheck exists. Dictionaries exist. When speaking, use proper grammar. People will judge you by how you write and how you speak. If you sound ignorant, you will be perceived as ignorant.
While starting to grasp why we hold on to our beliefs even if they might be hurting us, we were curious if certain personality traits make someone more likely to defend their views no matter what.
Wojciech commented: “To be honest: not really. As a social psychologist, I locate this tendency to ‘defend their views no matter what’ rather in a specific situation than in a specific person.
For example, reactance/the boomerang effect shows that the more people put pressure on the other person, the more likely s/he will push back such an argument. It is a situation of being a target of the advertisement: we know that the facts provided are to create/change our perception/decision, and simply because someone wants us to change it, we put more pressure on ‘defending our view no matter what.’”
#6
I work in retail, grocery to be specific. The customer is not always right. It's frustrating to explain that we do run out of things. I don't control the freight that's brought in, nor the price. I will blatantly tell you we don't have it because it's 10 minutes to closing and it's on a pallet with 200 other cases. Don't be that customer. We're not a wholesale warehouse. We stock overnight for a reason. You were just unlucky that what you wanted is gone after a whole day. Some people respect that and some don't.
#7
Brexit was a terrible idea.
When it comes to love and relationships, Wojciech shared how strong personal beliefs affect how people connect or disagree.
“Very strongly. For many decades, it was shown that on the one hand, similar opinions are those who connect us. On the other hand, it is often stressed that contraries/oppositions are magnetic to each other.
This contrast was solved once it was discovered, that similarities on crucial aspects/opinions/goals are crucial, whilst dissimilarities are interesting and binding in areas which are not crucial/important.
This simple rule reveals the complexity and explains why it is so hard to find someone special!
1. A person has to agree that a specific issue/opinion is crucial
(e.g., faith is an important issue in a relationship).
2. Both people have to share the same polarity of magnet/attraction (I am agnostic); create an attractor by the similarity and polarization. Any other combination in the area of important similarities of attitudes creates less strong, more fragile relationships.”
#8
That in 2025 those of us in wheelchairs, and other disabilities, still have a huge disadvantage in life:
Ex: finding jobs, housing that fit a wheelchair, vehicles to drive, etc.
#9
If you are not going to start paying me overtime until I stay over 40 minutes, do not be surprised or hurt when I leave at 17:30 on the dot. If I have work that needs to be done, I will stay, but don't expect me to leave until I hit that 40 minute mark, even if it means I am twiddling my thumbs on the clock.
As for someone who is afraid to share what they really believe because they worry others might laugh or reject them, Wojciech advised: “Stay strong. Once you are right (extremely important), keep your opinion hidden but active as a target of your actions. Attitudes are important, not the public side of it.”
#10
"My truth" (or his/her/their truth) isn't necessarily a truth. It is likely an opinion. A fact is a truth. Putting a pronoun in front of truth doesn't make it a fact.
#11
Being straight isn't considered "inappropriate," so why is it often considered "inappropriate" to be gay? It's not all about s*x, in the end it's part of someone's identity. I think people need to realize this and it should just be normalized in general.
#12
The future will get better in technology but worse in knowledge.
#13
Listening to an audiobook is NOT the same as reading. One is not superior to the other, they are simply different activities! If I listen to NPR is that the same as reading a newspaper? Or a podcast, is that the same as reading a magazine? If you can drive a car WHILE doing it, it's not reading.
#14
Robin Hood is the best Disney animated film by far.
#15
Sticks for dogs. I worked hard for Lou to ignore sticks. No eating sticks, no running with sticks, no throwing sticks. I know too many dogs that got hurt that way. Every once in a while people will throw a stick for him, I will educate them and most think it's no big deal but cave. I am proud to say Lou ignores them 99.999% of the time even when other dogs play with them.
#16
My hill is the one where I don't find it necessary to be kindly towards you if your beliefs are those that seek to erase my voice, endanger my life, limit my choices to have bodily autonomy, ensure that I can't get married to the person I love, enlist in the service of my country because of my gender identity/sexuality/color of my skin/nation of my birth, or provide for criminal/civil charges if I think outside your DEI lines. These are huge moral gulfs, not just political views. They are moral lines drawn in the sand. These things are important enough to me that I would willingly die to see them fulfilled, and I simply will not lay awake at night angstifying because someone is sad/mad that I unfriended them. I just can't bring myself to physically or metaphorically break bread with someone whose beliefs wish my life out of existence or relegated to some dusty historical closet with the door nailed shut.
#17
Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and their own beliefs.
We disagree on politics, religion, vaccines, homosexuality, or [insert pithy reason here]? Doesn't matter. I'll respect your right to your beliefs AND won't unfriend you just because we don't agree. Oh, and I also won't be the one to argue with you every time the subject comes up.
It's not so difficult to be respectful, even if you disagree. I won't judge your background or the reasons behind your beliefs, but I will expect the same respect in return.
#18
Strawberry milk is superior to chocolate and coffee flavoured. Let the hating commence.
#19
People (especially on Bored Panda) like to blame business owners for the existence and proliferation of tipping culture. But those owners are just utilizing a system that exists in some societies that they find to be an effective practice for their type of business. The fact is that tipping culture exists for two reasons: 1. There are employees who are willing to work for tips, and 2. Customers are willing to pay tips. If workers would refuse to take jobs where they would be paid in tips and/or customers would refuse to pay tips, then obviously tipping would end.
#20
TW: ED
Eating disorders do NOT have a "look" or a "weight," because there are many different types of EDs and not everyone has the same starting weight. This is something I personally have faced while in treatment. I've never been severely underweight, and because of this, it look me a long time to actually get a diagnosis/start treatment. Doctors typically would say "oh you're fine," even when I clearly was really struggling. It wasn't until I developed cardiac issues that I was actually taken seriously.
#21
Into the Woods isn't that good. It's just fine.
#22
Gen X here. I am all about gentle parenting style. However, in addition to raising an emotionally healthy child, please make sure to teach them about applying themselves and respect for the space of others.
#23
Cheese is overrated.
There, i said it.
#24
Fishing is a form of therapy
(And shut yo butț up if you think it’s cruelty. I personally think it’s fine as long you don’t make the fish suffer)
#25
There are not enough resources (food, space, clean air, etc,) for humanity now. Telling people they should be having multiple children without considering the future they will be living in is irresponsible and a danger to future generations.
#26
Plagiarism. Was accused twice in college and when I was assigned to write for government, my boss deleted a quotation mark to p**s me off. It worked, and I fought him hard and won. One of my undergrad profs said she loved reading my papers. Another time, back in the day, they would leave your submissions in a box for you to pick up after grading. More than once, mine disappeared only to be returned a few days later. I guess that is a compliment. I want to get back into writing. My specialty is data + law = policy.
#27
History buff here to say that Katherine Howard, the fifth wife of Henry VIII did not willingly cheat on him! I am prepared to fight any one who says otherwise because she was 19 and will always be innocent.
#28
Face and neck tattoos are trashy and awful
#29
I've got two, a nice one and a very controversial one. The controversial one: I don't think that all cats are better off being inside the house all the time. There are circumstances which make it better for the cat (big street nearby) or the environment (breeding birds nearby) but it's not a one-size-fits-all. The nice one: Locrian Ajax didn't r**e Cassandra, that's a later addition from a time when people didn't understand the way he died (with earth, lightning and the sea being involved). He most likely represents an old shamanic belief in Locris.
#30
I really despise this new trend in books, this trend of plagiarising other books and not getting called out for it. I mean, come on, I really can’t be the only one who noticed the blatant plagiarism. For example, Powerless plagiarised Harry Potter, Red Queen, and the Hunger Games, but is really loved despite all that?? The entire zodiac academy series plagiarism the Cruel Prince, as well as KOTLC. How is this even fair or right? What happened to creativity and originality?
#31
It’s red sauce on bacon baps and brown on sausage
#32
“Let's say that the consensus is that our species, being the higher primates, Homo Sapiens, has been on the planet for at least 4,000 years, maybe more. In order to be a Christian, you have to believe that our species suffered and died, most of its children dying in childbirth, most other people having a life expectancy of about 25 years, dying of their teeth. Famine, struggle, bitterness, war, suffering, misery.
Heaven watches this with complete indifference. And then 2000 years ago, thinks 'That's enough of that. It's time to intervene,' and the best way to do this would be by condemning someone to a human sacrifice somewhere in the less literate parts of the Middle East.
Don't lets appeal to the Chinese, for example, where people can read and study evidence and have a civilization. Let's go to the desert and have another revelation there. This is nonsense. It can't be believed by a thinking person.
#33
Diapers with plastic backs are superior to the ones with that disposable-towel-like surface, because they stay in shape more reliable.
#34
Edward de Vere, the Earl of Oxford, is the real Shakespeare. His library contained thousands of books, many of which included underlined Greek, Roman, and French passages from ancient poets/philosophers that appeared in Shakespeare´s plays. Mark Anderson´s book, ¨Shakespeare by Any Other Name,¨ was totally convincing. De Vere traveled where Shakespeare´s plays took place, even getting into loan trouble in Venice. Events in his life appear in veiled form in his plays. In college, a classmate described him as such a gifted poet that ¨his will shakes spears.¨ Earls were not playwrites so de Vere used an uneducated actor who never traveled abroad to be his front man. Read Anderson´s book before responding.
#35
I am the a*****e who will deny my feet smell of popcorn if you ask me outright. You cannot convince me JK Rowling is a hateful shrew despite the you show me as JK Rowling has written an essay where she states, quite clearly, she supports transgender rights.
#36
Rice is disgusting. I refuse to eat anything that looks like it can crawl down my throat on its own.
#37
9/11 was an inside job. Far too much scientific and engineering evidence doesn't match up to the ''official'' story.
