A Virginia woman just got hit on in the most unsettling way. That’s because a man blocked her car with his, all in an attempt to flirt with her.
In a video with over 17,500 views, Bailey Stewart (@Bailey Stewart) described a recent encounter with someone at her local gym. Instead of approaching her during her workout, he followed her outside in his car. As she was leaving the gym, he stopped his car in front of hers. It made it impossible for her to drive away. He then got out of his car and tapped on her window, asking for her cell phone number.
Stewart, infuriated and disturbed by the way that he approached her, said, “That puts women instantly in panic mode. We do not wanna talk to you. We’re not giving you our number. You now have us in literal panic mode, and we’re trying to figure out how to escape this situation.”
She clarified that she didn’t think the man meant any harm by approaching. Despite that, it still made her feel incredibly uncomfortable. “ Men don’t have to think about stuff like that as much as women do,” she added. “ If you’re gonna approach a woman, do it in a public space.”
Women and safety work—a practice
Stewart made an interesting point when she said that men “don’t have to think about stuff like that as much as women do.” While she said it’s more comfortable to be hit on in a public space, that’s still a space where women often feel, well, squished.
Parks are a great example. One article found that women are three times as likely to feel unsafe while walking in a park. This is despite it being a public space open to everyone. Women often engage in “safety work.” This term describes the physical and mental labor placed in creating safe pathways to traverse public areas. Often, they have to think about exit routes for situations that may seem slightly irksome or fine for the opposite gender. When and if a woman decides to visit a park, she has to think about the best time of day to go, how long she should stay, and if it’s safe to actually walk back to her car without getting followed.
That’s something Stewart engaged in. In her video, she also added that she was aware he knew what her car looked like. Preemptively, she thought about the fact that he knew personal information about her.
The article from Phys.org further describes this concept in practice, saying, “Once in the park, they are hyperaware of their environment, assessing social situations and monitoring unfamiliar men for potential threats.
The danger in a chance encounter
Negative encounters in public or private spaces often limit women’s capacity to engage and genuinely connect. While flirting might seem innocuous, it can sometimes feel threatening because of how often women have been assaulted or killed just for saying no. In this case, it felt especially threatening because Stewart couldn’t make her exit if she needed to.
It doesn’t necessarily mean that all flirting is bad. Stewart even pointed out in her TikTok that it wouldn’t have been as much of an issue in a public space—she doesn’t want to get flirted with in general, but it’s better if she can walk away if needed.
Commenters generally agreed but added that they wouldn’t give the man the benefit of the doubt. “Do not give him the benefit of the doubt. He knew what he was doing was wrong,” wrote one viewer.
Other women shared similar experiences, writing, “I was followed to my car [once]. [The man] tried to open my door. [Another time, a] guy was following me around the gym and hiding. It’s scary out here.”
As a keen viewer pointed out, “Only takes one creep to ruin it for everyone.” In this case, it only takes one person making a woman feel unsafe to have her check her car doors every time she leaves the gym.
@baileymstewart Pls don’t do this? ladies always be on high alert
♬ original sound – Bailey Stewart
The Mary Sue has reached out to Stewart via email for comment.
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