A viral trend on TikTok, known as the “bird theory,” could be the way to see if your partner listens to you.
First coined in 2023 by a TikTok user named Alyssa, the “bird theory” or “bird test” is meant to help people determine if their relationship will go the distance. To perform this test, one person has to point out something insignificant, like a bird perched outside. The goal is to have your partner respond with genuine curiosity.
The response could be as simple as “where” or “when” did you see the bird? “That’s a really good sign that your relationship is going to last a really long time,” Alyssa explained in her viral video at the time.
Now, “bird theory” is having a renaissance, with Google Trends reporting a spike in search traffic for the term last week.
Couples are sharing the results of the test on TikTok, like one woman named Courtney who filmed herself with her husband, Alex.
@thequistfamily This man always listens to my stories 😂 #birdtheory #couplegoals #wife #relationship #thequistfamily
♬ original sound - Courtney & Alex
“I saw a bird today,” she says in the video, before her partner responds: “A bird? Oh yeah? Well, what kind was it?”
“It flew up to the window and just kind of stayed there for a while,” she added, to which her husband responded: “I wish you’d taken a picture. I would have loved to see that.”
She celebrated his response in the caption, writing: “This man always listens to my stories.”
Former Bachelorette lead Hannah Brown also joined in on the trend with her husband, Adam Woolard. After telling him she’d seen a bird, he asked her what kind it was and where she saw it. He also asked if she was surprised by seeing the bird and whether she felt a certain way when she saw it.
@hannahkbrown Replying to @hi1kar22 I think Adam passed the bird theory test right?? 🐧🤍 #birdtheory #relationshiptest #marriage
♬ original sound - Hannah Brown
“I was in awe,” she said about seeing the blue jay.
“I think Adam passed the bird theory test right??” she quipped in the caption.
In the comments, followers praised how attentive Woolard was to his wife’s inane story.
“It’s giving ‘Love that for you, babe!’ Y'all are precious,” one wrote, while another added: “He’s trying so hard to connect the dots here.”
“He’s trying so hard to engage you, and that’s very sweet,” a third commented.
In her original video about the test, Alyssa explained that if your partner ignores the mention of the bird, it’s a bad sign. She said healthy responses might sound like “Oh, cool!” — while a partner who avoids acknowledging the bird altogether could be signaling emotional disinterest.
In the comments of Alyssa’s video, some viewers pointed out its similarity to a “bid for connection” — a term coined by the Gottman Institute. It refers to any attempt — verbal or nonverbal — that one partner makes to gain attention, affirmation, or affection from the other. How the other person responds to these bids (by “turning toward,” “turning away,” or “turning against”) is a key predictor of the relationship’s long-term health and stability.
