Sarah Ferguson is the poster girl of anti-monarchists. She is the prime example of someone totally and utterly ill-equipped for a role in public life, who nevertheless got one by dint of marrying someone born to the right person. Having spent her entire adulthood cannoning from one self-made catastrophe to another, you would have thought that even she might appreciate this now. And yet we hear she is bracing herself for a comeback.
The new tranche of Epstein files deliver one hideous blow after another to the former Duchess of York. She is shown to be venal: again and again she presses Epstein for handouts. She even manages to get him to foot the bill for her, Beatrice and Eugenie’s flights costing $14,080.10 in order to welcome him out of prison in 2008. And there is a suggestion that she granted access to Windsor Castle and Buckingham Palace in exchange for the cash.
She sounds creepy too. Talking about the “shagging weekend” of your youngest daughter to someone convicted of soliciting underage sex is a very bad look. She is also greasily desperate. Ferguson calls Epstein, a “steadfast, generous and supreme friend”, the “brother I have always wished for”, and assures him: “I am at your service. Just marry me.” Worst of all though, she shows herself to be a matchless hypocrite. Apparently seeing nothing wrong in co-founding her charity Mum’s Army with a sex offender.
Despite all this though, everything might not be lost for Fergie. Many of her friends remain loyal. One says that Ferguson is guilty of nothing more than breathtaking naivety. “She has an almost childlike ability to wreak havoc,” says an old friend who has known Fergie “since she was in jodhpurs”. The ‘friend’ continues: “I do swear to you that she has not one malicious bone in her body”.
A source close to Ferguson is very clear that the only thing she should be blamed for is “a sort of financial incontinence”. And there might be some truth to this. For though her personal extravagance is legendary, Andrew Lownie writes in his biography Entitled: The Rise And Fall Of The House Of York, that at one point Fergie had 17 staff including “a cook, driver, maid, butler, dresser, nanny, three secretaries, a personal assistant, lady-in-waiting, accountant and accountant's assistant, two gardeners, a flower arranger, and dog walker.” As well as not one but two people to pick up after her dogs.
Read more: Most jawdropping claims in Prince Andrew biography
Her generosity is fabled too. “She paid the school fees of the children of a friend of mine”, says a source, “Sarah was literally up to her eyeballs in debt at the time. But did it smoothly, without any thought of thanks or even repayment”.
She might be thinking about the repayment now though. Taking stock in the United Arab Emirates, Fergie has reportedly been ringing around friends with a three word refrain: “I need money”.
Sarah Ferguson has a few strings to her bow when it comes to the rehabilitation of her reputation. The first is her famed resilience; she is the original survivor. When she was caught having her toes sucked by her financial advisor, John Bryan in 1992, the Royal Family were very clear that she was on the outside. But she wiggled her way back in. Recent years had seen her frequently included in official events and almost treated as one of The Firm again. Perhaps history could repeat itself.
She is also a great go-getter. When she was given what she considered an inadequate divorce settlement, around £2.5 million in 1996 she went out and earned her own (never quite enough) bread. The original influencer, she is credited with hugely boosting the fortunes of, among other things, Weight Watchers and Wedgewood china. She has also written some 70 books, most famously creating Budgie The Little Helicopter.
The other massive thing that plays in her favour is the age we are living through. Cancel Culture might be rife but so is anti-Cancel Culture, there is an entire industry devoted to keeping shamed celebrities in the public eye. And Fergie could not be better equipped to run this gauntlet.
Thinking about it, all her life might have been equipping her for this moment. Enter the Duchess of Reality TV. It is hard to think of a format that wouldn’t suit Sarah Ferguson, or a producer who wouldn't fall over themselves to bag her. It goes without saying she would be heaven to watch on Celebrity Traitors, Strictly, Get Me Out Of Here. You name it, we’d watch it. Bubbly, confident, charming and idiotic, she has got it all.
Friends and Palace sources tend to agree that the only thing that has deterred Fergie from going full bush tucker in the past was the threat that it would seal the door to the Palace for her, and perhaps even her daughters. Now that she has absolutely nothing to lose though, I would place an outlandish - a Fergie sized - bet that it is only a matter of time before the ex-Duchess takes to our screens in some undignified form or another. I can’t wait.
.jpg?w=600)
