You know how it is when kids eat too much sugary rubbish and stay up too late, then get overtired and a bit manic and demanding? I say kids, because most of the year, it’s a pre-school thing. But in December, it applies to most of the population: we all get a bit hysterical.
You can see this in what we wear. The rest of the year, you might wear smart trousers and blouses to work, and jeans and chambray shirts at the weekend, and add a comfy high heel and nice jacket when you go to the cinema. So far, so sensible. But then suddenly, because it’s December, the volume gets turned up to max. So, you’re going for drinks at a mate’s, but now it’s rebranded as Christmas cocktails, and you’re meant to be in off-the-shoulder black taffeta and a statement shoe. Or you have a fun lunch planned, but instead of just wearing a nice jumper, you have to wear one with Ho Ho Ho on it in sequins. Even the outfit you might wear to hang out at home, or to go for a walk to celebrate the fact that it’s not raining – which wouldn’t normally be a look at all, just warm clothes – is expected to be double-ply cream cashmere with a pompom trim.
I’m all for Christmassiness, but there are times when you don’t want to look festive; you just want to look nice. Is that allowed? I don’t want to get into the elves’ bad books at this late stage, obviously, but no party needs everyone to be the fairy on top of the tree. There’s room for some of us to play it straight, if only as a foil for all the sequin party dresses. I think the trick is to do layering differently. Layering is what turns most of us into scruffs in cold weather, because you kill your pretty look with a bulky, dull top layer.
You can circumnavigate this with what I call the J Crew Lookbook Technique, which involves making your warm layer a bright colour and adding a big necklace. Or by making the layering unexpected – as in, for instance, a longline tunic over matching trousers. No draughts to give you a chill. (Arms don’t count. Man up.) No pompoms, no baubles, no sequins. Although, if an elf asks any awkward questions, I’ll say I’m dressed as a pint of mulled wine.
• Jess wears top, £250, and trousers, £210, both by Theory, from net-a-porter.com. Heels, £99, kurtgeiger.com.
Styling: Melanie Wilkinson. Hair and makeup: Laurence Close at Carol Hayes Management.
