I'm cured. I'm cured! I thought my addiction to ankle boots was going to go on and on until my collection toppled out of its too-small cupboard and buried me, like some kind of tragic, chunky-heeled Imelda Marcos. But I'm cured.
My saviour is the return of the knee-high boot. If you just frowned and thought, "What's she on about? I always wear knee-high boots", allow me to recap. The knee-high boot was a hot look until two or three years ago, when it fell out of fashion favour because the norms got hold of it. They wore it with skinny jeans, which was OK, but then they added fluffy gilets and – heaven help us – waterfall cardigans. The high-heeled knee boot went from Carine Roitfeld to Carole Middleton. The ankle boot – cooler, more tomboy – put it in the shade. As evidenced by my cupboard.
OK, let's talk about what I'm wearing these boots with. You may not like this coat – a dog print and a furry collar is not to everyone's taste – but you have to admit it's not Carole Middleton. The point about the new knee-high boot is that it has reclaimed its silly side. The Saint Laurent glittery ones are fabulous and utterly ridiculous. Glittery like Elton John stagewear. Glittery like when you give a two-year-old a Pritt Stick and a glitter shaker. They have a low, chunky heel, which makes them less posey and more bouncy.
Relax. You don't have to wear coats with dogs on or glittery boots. Just rethink the knee-high boot into a fun context, so it projects puppyish enthusiasm instead of the panther sleekness of old. Instead of skinny jeans or a pencil skirt, wear them with flared or A-line dresses, coats or skirts, so the silhouette is less linear. It's that triangular, 60s silhouette which has come back into vogue. It's less about what's flattering and more about fashion, which I would argue isn't a bad thing. Fashion can be flattering in its own way, because it is youthful. Still, I'm sticking with a good height and leaving low-heeled go-go boots to the skinny kids until opaque-tight season begins, for reasons relating entirely to my knees.
Best of all: this is a shop-your-wardrobe trend. The boots are there, unless you actually throw stuff away when it goes out of fashion. (Who does that?) Which is lucky – like I said, my ankle boot addiction hasn't left a lot of room for experimentation.
• Jess wears coat, £395, antipodium.com. Boots, from a selection, escada.com.
Hair and makeup: Sharon Ive at Carol Hayes Management.
