For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be financially independent. But this independence came to an end recently when I left my role, after being employed by you for more than a decade.
Since having my daughter, you denied me a good work life-balance. In the beginning, you said all the right things: “We are a family company”, “We want employees to stay long-term”, “We strive to treat everyone fairly”.
When I returned from maternity leave, you agreed to me working a 30-hour week. But I didn’t know then I would constantly be required to work longer.
At first I put this down to the business being busy – I realise now that it was more to do with your management style. The times I was late picking up my daughter were the result of you appearing in my office 10 minutes before I had to leave, and making me stay to discuss something that could have been said earlier.
One time in particular you asked me to go to your house and let someone in to fix your internet. I agreed, which meant I had to spend all evening working to make up the time. I didn’t see my family that night, and was furious with myself for agreeing to it.
It is difficult to explain the effect you have had on my family over the years. I am grateful that the job gave me financial security, but I often had to postpone days off and struggled to schedule holidays. Booking a dentist appointment or haircut was a huge stress, despite the fact I was meant to work only a four-day week.
I was stressed out, tired, and often completely drained. My husband bore the brunt of my stress, while my daughter got used to after-school clubs. I’m ashamed to say there were occasions when I had worked so late I no idea what she’d eaten all week.
I realise I am partly to blame because I enabled you to behave the way that you did. But I felt I couldn’t challenge the culture. In my experience, as a working parent you have more to prove in the workplace. I know many skilled people who have given up on finding a challenging job after having children because there are so few part-time roles out there. It’s a waste of their talent.
Recently, the Institute of Leadership and Management’s report [pdf] heralded the end of nine-to-five working, saying 50% of businesses said flexible working was standard practice. From my experience, this is hard to believe. Looking for roles in finance since I resigned has shown me there are just a handful of part-time working options.
Businesses need to encourage leaders who embrace flexible working, who know how to bring out the best in people, and trust their employees. You need to mean it when you say you want the best for your staff. You can’t expect your team to be motivated and dedicated to you and only you, without giving something back.
- Would you like to write an anonymous letter to your boss for this series? Get in touch by emailing careers.desk@theguardian.com
