It isn’t like the films I watched as a child. The saying “yes” part was easy. It is everything else that worries me. Did we do the right thing? We are so young: I’m 24; he is 23. What if we meet other people along the way? Our opposing views and playful bickering is exciting now, but will it wear thin as we grow older?
We look at our friends with disposable incomes who date casually and still live with their parents, and we question our decision to move into our own place so quickly. We spend our days rowing over the washing-up, we argue in front of family members, and he turns up late when he has spent the previous evening out with his friends. I rationalise that it is because we are growing up together and this comes with its trials; but does this happen to everyone?
There’s also the issue of expectation. We don’t want children any time soon – I have a demanding career and not a lot of disposable income to support myself, let alone a child – but now it is all people seem to ask us. “When will you have kids? You know, you’re married now, get them out of the way when you’re young.” Why does society pile on that pressure?
I don’t believe, as our mothers and grandmothers tell us, that there are plenty more fish in the sea. In a world where young adults who are bored with their spouse can simply swipe right and move on, I do feel lucky to have met someone who loves me enough to tough out life with me. I just wish it came with a warning: marriage may be an ever after, but you have to figure out the happy part all on your own.
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