Two years ago, I discovered my parents used a sperm donor to have me. My father was infertile, and they had planned never to tell me. They saw it as something I didn't need to know (I don't agree). Since then, I've had an intense curiosity about who this stranger is.
It was a routine blood test that revealed it. I got pregnant at 25, and discovered my blood group was AB. My dad's type is O, which means he couldn't be my biological father. Even though I'd suspected this for some time – when I was 20, he was diagnosed with a serious genetic illness that my parents didn't seem concerned about the possibility of me having – it was a huge shock.
Now, I wonder what my donor's name is, who his ancestors are. I wonder if we are alike. I'm shy, sensitive and studious and, coming from a family of extroverts, I'm sure I must have got these traits from him. I wonder if he thinks about the children he fathered as a donor.
I've joined a voluntary DNA register run by the charity UK Donorlink, in the hope of making contact with him. When I tell people I'm trying to trace him, they often can't understand why. They say things like, "But you already have a family. Why do you need to find him?"
I love my parents, but that doesn't change the fact that the man who helped create me is my kin. As far as I'm concerned, I have three parents. I just don't know who one of them is.
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