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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle
Anonymous

What I’m really thinking: the castrated man

WIRT 1 Aug
‘I am no longer as keen on sex.’ Illustration: Lo Cole for the Guardian

Nearly two years ago I sat in a hospital consulting room following a prostate examination and body scan. “It’s not good news,” the doctor said. “You have three choices: surgical castration, chemical castration, or do nothing and let the spreading prostate cancer take its course.”

At the time, this seemed worse than receiving the cancer diagnosis. Until then a powerful sex drive and an active sex life had defined me. This felt like the end of me as a “real man”. Still, retaining active testicular glands was not an option as testosterone was fuelling my cancer. I chose surgical castration. This is a simple procedure that has granted me about 18 months of remission. On the day of surgery I was numb. The subsequent pain was no worse than a tooth extraction.

I think about sex almost as much as I used to. However, the reduction in my sex drive means I am no longer as keen on it. If you can monitor the health of your prostate (or encourage your partner to do so) you could avoid my fate.

In about 10% of cases detected, the cancer is “advanced” – as mine is. I wish it had been different, but I’ve also discovered that the change to my life as a castrated man is not of much consequence. I am lucky in some senses – I am in a committed relationship, have a grownup daughter and do not want any more children (although I could have had sperm frozen before the procedure).

I do not have that long to live – every day is precious. It took me some time, but I have learned that I can be happy. And that my manhood does not depend upon the contents of my testicles.

• Tell us what you’re really thinking at mind@theguardian.com

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