Humans are built to size each other up quickly. These first impressions are influenced by a number of factors, including facial features, vocal inflection, and general emotional state. Often people get attached to their initial opinions of others and find it difficult to change their minds.
But every now and then we are presented with such convincing evidence to the contrary that we just have to. For example, when we visit the place that they live in! From cleanliness and colors to photos and decor, it can convey a lot of information.
A few days ago, Reddit user WANACWaac asked everyone on the platform to describe the moment they saw something in another person's home that made them view the owner of the space in a completely new light.
Trick or treating as a kid we were always scared to go to one neighbor’s house. The yard, nor home, was well kept. Stories circulated the neighborhood for years that he was a mean man, had killed his family, etc. As a dare I ran up and rang the doorbell and as I tried to run away an older gentleman opened the door..he said ‘I don’t get many kids nowadays, Happy Halloween!’ and held out a bowl of yummy candy bars. I peeked in and it was a meticulously kept home on the inside. A little candle lit, neatly folded blankets and magazines next to his lazy boy chair. He was so kind. I believe his kids were grown and had moved away, wife had passed away years ago. Made me not believe the rumors that get started about people.Woman I nannied for had a very messy house but she always looked so put together in public. She had 6 kids and always said “don’t judge me, our house is ‘lived in’”. Made me realize it was ok not to ruin your life over a perfect image house as long as everyone and everything was functioning.I'm a CSI. I went to a residential burglary when I used to work at an agency in North Carolina.
The homeowners were in their 70s. Their house was your typical grandparent's place with lace doilies everywhere, flowers, and photos all over the walls of the entire extended family. A table near his chair with hunting and fishing magazines. A table near her chair with knitting needles and yarn. The whole 9 yards you'd expect to see at grandma and grandpa's house.
As the lady was showing me around with the officer to tell me what was stolen or moved I came to a slightly ajar door next to the master bedroom suite. I asked her if anything had been moved in there. She said she wasn't sure since she had called the police the moment they had gotten home from church and realized their house had been broken into. I elbowed open the door. Full on sex dungeon room. We're talking sex swing, hooks on the ceilings with ropes, restraints on boards nailed to the wall, cuffs, paddles, floggers, strapon harnesses on hooks, ball gags of various sizes, video camera on a tripod, you name it. She looked around, put her hand on her chest and with what seemed a sigh of relief said "No. Thank you lawd! It looks like nothing was touched in here."
I will never look at an old woman in a peter pan collar and flower patterned dress the same now.A girl I hung out with in college had me over to study together. We didn't have dorms, we lived close enough to just walk to college, so it was at her house. I saw this little colorful urn on her tv stand and I said "oh, thats a pretty pot", she got this really sad smile and replied "thanks...that's my daughter." I felt so bad.Their Labrador in a crate so small it could only turn around with great difficulty. The crate was anchored to the wall, because otherwise the dog would thrash around in the crate until it shook and moved across the floor.
I asked if the dog had done something wrong to be put in timeout in the crate, like chewing up some shoes? My(ex) friend said no, that’s just where the dog lived for the most part. It got out every so often to eat or toilet in the yard, but all other times of day and night it was crated. Their reasoning was that when they let it out the crate, it was too hyper and destructive. Probably cause it spent its whole life stuck in a tiny f*****g box!
I argued with the friend and left the house on bad terms. I did phone an animal rights hotline but was told there wasn’t anything they could do. Since the dog was technically provided food, shelter, and decently hygienic conditions it wasn’t illegal to crate them near constantly, even though the org agreed it was neglectful/abusive.One family I went to visit had a room in their house that was set up for a college kid. Posters, tv, some weights, computer desk, even a half empty cologne bottle on the desk. I asked them what college their son went to and they immediately changed the subject and the mom looked down and away. They said the room is rented out. I later found out their son could not get into the college he wanted and decided to take his own life. They left his room exactly as it last was. I still think about them.Was dating a girl for a couple of weeks and went to hang out with a couple she was close friends with. We are at their house, hanging out, and having a pretty good time. They seemed pretty cool. The guy starts talking about the iguanas they have and asked if i wanted to see them. They had a separate room for them. We go in there, see the big cages with lizards. They were very impressive. And the big f*****g Ku Klux Klan posters on the wall next to them. I made an excuse to leave their home soon after. My girlfriend asked what was wrong, and I explained what I saw. She knew and didn't think it was any big deal. It ended that relationship as well.A dude I had a crush on didn’t put sheets on his bed. It was so gross and weird. His mattress was all dirty and I couldn’t imagine how it would ever get clean. I couldn’t get past it and it didn’t work out lol.They didn’t own soap, like, no soap at all anywhere in their house.When my friend and his wife could always afford new shoes/outfits and nights out with miscellaneous substances but their kids slept on a mattress on the floor with no sheets...like ... Where are your priorities?!A sandbox in the middle of the living room. There were Tonka Trucks and toys and cigarette butts in it. Then came the cat. Ugh.A married couple, both medical doctors, with kids. They had one of those tall, giant outdoor propane heaters, in their living room. You know the kind they have for outdoor seating at restaurants? One of those. In their living room. Running on propane. No fans, no open windows. I told them they need to knock that s**t off.I did home visits for students from poverty. Some were refugees, others were here on asylum, or farm work programs. Wow. Were their houses clean. Mopped and dusted daily. Gardens were immaculate. Kitchens well organized. I guess I expected their homes to look like the homes of poor Americans, but nope. They treated their new homes in America like castles and welcomed our visits.Pills.... all over the floor. Every room I went to had random pills on the ground. I picked them up and put them in a zip lock when I was watching their cats. I let them know and they didn't seem to care. Watched their cats again months later and again found pills all over the place. So bizarre.Once when I was a kid I was invited to stay over for dinner at a friend's house. My friend's mother poured a large quantity of ketchup into a cereal bowl, which the entire family all casually dipped their fingers into and licked throughout the meal.I had a roommate once that went away for a bit, and while he was gone we went in the basement for something and discovered that he and his best friend were making paper mache molds of each other’s bodies… like… dozens of them. Full body casts all over the basement. It was very unsettling.Stayed the night at this girl's house and got up early to make some breakfast. I'm riffleing though the cabinets looking for salt and pepper to add to my eggs. Come to find out this lady has no spices in her house. None. Not even salt. Like what?!Honestly? A big confederate flag hanging the entire span of their dining room wall. Their business, but I drew the line when they said the pledge of allegiance to it. Like?I did maintenance for apartments. One had crushed velvet everything. And a shrine to Tupac with the centerpiece being a statue of Tupac as Jesus.I was once a bartender in an affluent area. I would occasionally get invited to after parties with the regulars. More than once I saw a large home barely furnished as in multiple rooms we're completely empty and they just lived in maybe two rooms of the house. It appears that these people would buy and even rent the homes, to put on the look.Black mold in the shower. It was our fifth date, I think, he was a nice guy, very smart and kind, and I went to his apartment that he shared with a roommate. The whole place was a pit but when I saw that shower I knew I had to call things off. Luckily the Covid lockdown started a couple days later and we just stopped texting each other.I go into multiple homes every week. For the most part, people are clean and what I’d call normal.
Then we have the people whose animals don’t get let outside often enough, or the litter boxes aren’t cleaned often enough. Or the children have the run of the home, and no one cleans for them. That’s all normal to some people.
We also have a large group of people who collect odd things, or old things. They can’t let go of the past, or of great grandma’s tarnished brass. That’s also normal to some.
The worst, to me, are the hoarders. With just a pathway leading to a tight space for one, they expect me to adapt to their living conditions while finding a place to sign multiple documents. Some claim to be remodeling. Others claim to be moving in or out. It’s obvious their claims are untrue.
But what gets me about these hoarders, is that if they aren’t sick and in bed on the final days, they are business professionals who walk right next to others, looking tidy and clean. They are doctors and nurses, they are attorneys, accountants, and some even own multiple properties across the country.
I’ve learned that we really don’t know a person until we’ve seen their home.I better appreciated that a friend of mine was badly depressed when I saw how messy his home was. I wanted to let him know if he needed anything Id do my best to help, but I dont wanna just say, "Hey sad-a*s, lemme help!".Went over to my best (at the time) friend's house, hadn't been by in a while. She had two young children (I think they were both under 5). But she was a stay at home mom and her husband worked full time. I walked in the door and their house was COMPLETELY TRASHED. You could barely see the living room floor, there was a big box by the front door completely filled with dirty diapers. The wood floor was fully ruined. Dishes everywhere. Like, I get two kids is a lot of work, but what the f**k do you do all day? I'd known her since we were win elementary school. Her mom had THREE kids and their house was basically spotless, and her mom made them help clean so it wasn't like she had no idea how to clean or grew up around filth. I'd been best friends with this woman for over a decade at the time I was seeing her house like this, and I almost called CPS. That's how bad it was. While I sat on the fence debating whether or not to call CPS, her mother-in-law ended up doing it. CPS was involved in their lives for years after that, it was so sad to watch.Super popular, rich kid in high school. Drove a BMW, had a huge house and both of his parents were doctors. Went to a party at his house one night and was absolutely horrified by the filth they lived in. There was dog s**t and p**s absolutely everywhere in the house and little chihuahuas running around. Then there were even more dogs stacked on top of each other in crates in the garage. I was so stunned and disgusted I couldn’t even have fun and was just horrified for the animals, and him because he obviously thought this was all normal. And because he was cool people weren’t saying anything. All I could think was “holy s**t if this is what his house looks like when he KNOWS people are coming over, what the f**k does it normally look like”?!? I still feel terrible for those dogs and wish I had told an adult who could have helped them ?.A carpeted bathroom that also contains a gun safe, wine glasses, a wine fridge, board games and snacks.Her toddler chewing on a used douche applicator.-The dirtiest bathroom I have ever seen.
-The cleanest anything I have ever seen. Everything had plastic covers to keep it clean. The couch had plastic covers, the rugs, chairs in the kitchen, hand rails on the stairs. Everything. I was around 9 and went to dinner and watch TV at this kid's house. He asked his mom if 'we' could take the plastic off the couch to watch TV. Mom brought out clean pajamas for us both. Mom explained that everyone gets so dirty in that house. They have to wear pajamas mom has clean and ready if they want to sit on the couch. When dad came home and saw the cover off the couch, he got his clean pajamas too and joined us. Weirdest kcufing people! The older kids and dad all worked on cars and engines and were always covered in grease.Went on a date with this smoking hot woman. We instantly hit it off and had a great night. She ended up inviting me back to her condo and when we sat down in her living room I noticed a set of binoculars on her side table so I asked what they were for. Her response was something like,
“Sometime I just like to look into peoples places and see what they’re up to.”
Completely weirded me out. Still smashed though.Hundreds and hundreds of nutcracker dolls. Every square inch of space had one.
EDIT: and not just at Christmas, this was in the middle of summer.Went to my supposedly straight brothers house when he wasnt there. He knew i was coming over but he was running late and told me to go on in. I turned on the tv, and grabbed his ps4 controller and decided to f**k up whatever game he was playing. Welp, it turned out to be gay porn. I guess I never really viewed him differently because hes my brother and I love him, i just have been keeping this secret and wanted to get it off my chest.Lots and lots of stuff. I’ve met a few people who are hoarders. They didn’t strike me as hoarders and then I saw their house.Neighbor has at least a dozen extremely high quality hand painted portraits of President Obama as an African king, high rolling gangster, Jesus, walking hand in hand with MLK, playing basketball on the streets, smoking weed by a burning trashcan, and other cray ones. It's been a few years since I saw them but wow, dude worships Obama and I had no idea. He never speaks a word of politics. He invited me over for dinner and told me all about the artist and how proud he was to have custom pieces by him. He never mentioned anything political, he just spoke about Obama like he was a sports or religious icon.They had a bunch of framed pictures of family members on the wall, and among them was a picture of Ted Bundy. The black-and-white photo of him grinning at something off camera when he was on trial. It was an old lady's home, and it was otherwise nicely furnished. Not the roughest house I've been to for work but it definitely had me scratching my head.When my wife used to work for a small company we would occasionally be “voluntold” to attend company get togethers
One of them was at his house - a BBQ - not that strange, right?
Well, what was strange was the 5 foot wide professionally painted picture of his wife, completely naked, on a beach in the living room.I drove nearly 5 hours to meet a guy that i had been talking to online for months. i get to his place and in the bathroom is an unflushed toilet with a #2 that has very clearly been soaking in there for awhile. Noped out of there so fast.Naked photos of people on their walls. It didn't make me think any less of them, I just don't personally have the balls to invite a group of coworkers over knowing they'd walk into that. So I guess if anything I respect them more now.Cat that was restricted to a basement. Granted the basement was pretty massive and smelled like they cleaned the litterbox, and it had food and a water fountain. But still the poor thing would spend all day meowing at the door, it needed love, and companionship.Went over to my mother-in-law's home-care nurse's 50th birthday, she invited the whole family over (among others, there were lotsa folks). Had to use the bathroom; she had left a**l beads out beside her bed.
I was like damn girl, you're saucy.If I had not known my neighbor when I was growing up was a WW2 vet and the coat was a war trophy it would have been the SS officers jacket he had in his closet. Fresh and never worn he pulled it off a wagon somewhere in France. Without the context it would have been a massive red flag. Instead him and his wife were a sweet couple that were always happy to tell my brother and I stories from the war. He served in Europe, she served in the Pentagon writing letters to fallen soldiers' families. I miss them still 20+ years after they passed on.Saw a relative’s new house. He showed me around, nice house until we got to his bedroom which was totally decorated with Jesus and Catholic saint tchotchkes. The kicker was the crucifix tucked into his bed on a pillow. I briefly considered pretending some force was not letting me into his holy room, but I didn’t want to be the subject of his prayers or his call to the Exorcist.Nothing on the walls, at all. Paintings and pictures were on the floor leaning against the wall. I thought perhaps they had just painted, but no. That's just the way it was. It's a very strange thing being in a house with nothing on the walls.I worked on the outside of a house one time, working around a window and I could see 2 dead hummingbirds sitting in the window sill inside. Not taxidermy, just laying there dead. Horrible.My in-laws' place. It's not one thing I saw. It was the whole f*****g place. Hoarding like crazy. I wanted to impress them the first time I met them because I was looking to marry my now-partner. I was planning a salmon meal with a couple different courses leading to it. I ended up spending four hours cleaning and *then* I could finally prep a meal. It was horrid. And that smell isn't something I won't forget. They seemed noseblind to it.
I've never set foot on that property again and never will.My husband’s aunt is white and is married to a black man. When you enter their house, there is an entire wall with a painted velvet canvas of a beautiful black woman in her full glory, boobs, pubic hair and all. When you sat in the living room, well, she was there.Pack of chicken breasts in the fridge. Except it was fully open and he leaves it there like that and just takes one when he needs to. But raw chicken open in the fridge made me question some things.Their kids didn’t have top sheets, and their mattresses were grey. The rest of the house was a disaster as well, but to give someone a tour of your home when it looks like a pig stye? Thats a no from me, dog.Hoarding, and terrible food hygiene.
Edit: Different people but I wish i used this as my original response. Wall to wall carpeting I'm the kitchen.My friends moved into an apartment in the complex about 6 months after me. They weren’t very organized but for the 2 years they lived there they had an Amazon box with a yellow hand towel over it and a 6 plug power strip inside. It was on the floor behind their table and I nearly tripped on it multiple times, but it was never moved.
They (2 brothers) eventually bought a house and when I visited that box was sitting in their living room. I doubt they noticed and just thought it was a box to clean later but I bet it is still there, 7 years since I visited them last.
What makes it weird is the older brother is a massive germaphobe, but they live in what I can only describe as “the enclave of the man-child”.No soap by the bathroom sink. None.
