What does it mean to be a man in 2020?
This is the complicated question our new Guardian US series, The State of Men, sets out to explore.
As longstanding structures of gender, power and privilege undergo major reappraisal, masculinity finds itself in a state of flux. Pervasive stereotypes about men – that they are fundamentally aggressive, domineering, promiscuous and unemotional – are slowly being dismantled, freeing them and society at large to reassess what makes a man. But these changes are far from universally embraced.
Men have seen their wages decline and employment prospects dip. But even as women’s economic contributions have grown significantly, the majority of Americans continue to look to men as the primary breadwinners. Research suggests that males in the US without work are more unhappy than their peers in other wealthy nations, and experts warn that the upheaval in traditional social and economic roles will erode men’s self-esteem and undermine their mental health.
Some of the fallout is already apparent. In 2018, men died by suicide 3.5 times more often than women, with white males accounting for 70% of suicide deaths. At the same time, expectations to “man up”, “act tough” and remain stoic in the face of upset mean that men often don’t seek help when they most need it.
As we started to conceive this series earlier this year, we brought together a diverse group of six male writers and social critics for a pre-Covid dinner conversation about what masculinity means to them. They discussed absent role models, abusive fathers and the heavy baggage of patriarchal beliefs. One participant observed, “As a black man in America, you’re constantly engaging in the tactics of releasing yourself of disadvantage and trying to then arm yourself with privilege. What I ended up realizing was that all that I was doing trying to be manly, was really just making me inaccessible to people around me.”
The group shared stories of valorizing routine violence, as well as stories of trying to rid themselves of their own violent tendencies. They also described masculinity as an idea that often seemed to exist outside of themselves as both an aspiration and a cruelly impossible standard.
They also spoke frequently of love, for their families, their partners, their fellow men, yet stressed how difficult it often was to express their emotions or display affection.
Inspired by their vulnerability, our series seeks to further this introspection. Tracy Clark-Flory will open the doors to a sex doll factory in order to examine male desire and how it is misunderstood – to the detriment of everyone’s sex lives. Daniel Peña will take us to Louisiana, where a quarter of oil rig workers lost their jobs this year, signaling a mental health crisis. Gabriel Mac’s tale of finding himself accepted by cis straight men at a gym offers hope.
That’s just part of it: you can read the entire weeklong series here. Our goal is to open up a conversation for all genders, on foundations of honesty, empathy, vulnerability and openness. We hope you join in.
