Cameron: I've never looked a gift horse in the mouth in my life.
Raisa: We know you're telling porkies.
Cameron: OK, I might have done once ...
Raisa: Or four or five times ...
Cameron: Well, if I did go hacking with Rebekah Brooks, I would never have ridden some old police nag ...
Raisa: Yes, you bloody well did. My back was agony for days afterwards. You're a lot chubbier than you think.
Cameron: Look, why don't you just keep your mouth shut. Rebekah told me you'd been turned into glue long ago.
Raisa: She's long since lost control of the skeletons in her cupboard, pal.
Cameron: I did actually ride Rebekah Brooks's old police horse, but it would be wrong to infer from this that I am in any way compromised. At the time I had no idea that Rebekah happened to be one of Rupert's senior employees. Just as I was unaware Andy Coulson was going to be accused of illegal phone hacking when I asked him to work for me at No 10.
Osborne: Brilliant statement. That will draw a line under the whole thing.
Cameron: That's what I thought, Ozzy. I just don't understand why everyone seems so keen to present us as a pair of completely out-of-touch upper-class morons with no political judgment.
Osborne: It's not our fault we're both multimillionaires. Everyone knows multimillionaires only like hanging out with other multimillionaires ...
Cameron: And Jeremy Clarkson ...
Osborne: Isn't he a multimillionaire?
Cameron: He bought his own furniture.
Steve Hilton: Can I have a word, maaan?
Cameron: Ah, Hilto! We need to do a bit more work on my image ...
Hilton: Like, I'm really sorry dude, but I'm off to Cali-forn-i-a. I'm not digging the vibe here in London.
Cameron: But who is going to stop me looking like a complete dickhead?
Clegg: You could never look like a dickhead, Daddy!
Osborne: Not in comparison to you.
Cable: I have absolutely no idea how the very private letter I wrote saying I think the coalition's economic policy is doomed is in all the newspapers.
Osborne: Just what I need when I'm planning my budget to increase unemployment ...
Cameron: Is nothing going right?
Milidee: I'm leader of the opposition.
