Stumps, day four: West Indies 202-2 (Brathwaite 101, Samuels 22) - they lead England by 37 runs
Well, that wasn’t really a classic. In fact, it was eye-bleedingly tedious for long spells, with this pitch giving turgid roads a bad name, little help for the bowlers who had a good old go, but nothing really doing. Alastair Cook’s captaining is certainly improving, as he tried all he could to manufacture a wicket, but it’ll require either something absurd to happen with the new ball (due after five overs tomorrow morning) or a ludicrous collective batting brain fart for them to bowl the West Indies out with enough time to win.
Still, hats off to the lad Brathwaite, who went long periods of time without scoring, and indeed not looking like he was trying to score, but put together the sort of solid innings that his team required. So, the odds are on the draw, but we shall see what happens tomorrow. Join us, and thanks for reading.
75th over: West Indies 202-2 (Brathwaite 101, Samuels 22)
Jordan’s in for the last over of the day, and goes for the yorker, but it’s a fairly tame one that Samuels pats away. A shorter approach is attempted, but Samuels is equally alert to that, getting on top of the ball and briefly thinking about a single. And the final over of the day is another yorker attempt, that turns into a low full-toss, and that’s yer lot.
74th over: West Indies 202-2 (Brathwaite 101, Samuels 22)
England in on the Dereks, and Gaz Ballance is at short-leg. Anderson keeps it straight, and Brathwaite struggles to pierce the ring of fielders, one attempt completely turning the bat around in his hands. Anderson eventually gives one a bit more width, and Brathwaite takes the opportunity to slap it through the covers to take two, and get him to a century. It’s not been the prettiest knock - in fact, it’s been ugly as sin in places - but it’s been just what his team needed. The celebration is as understated as the knock, Brathwaite permitting himself a small fist-pump, like AP McCoy might permit himself a slice of toast of a morning. Batted, lad.
73rd over: West Indies 200-2 (Brathwaite 99, Samuels 22)
Jordan damn-near cleans Samuels up with a yorker, but it squirts away for a single, bringing the would-be centurion to strike. Jordan is around the wicket again, but Brathwaite does well to scoop a single down to fine leg. Jordan largely sticks with the straight/legside line, but gives the final ball of the over a little more width, which Samuels strokes pleasantly wide of mid-off for the first boundary we’ve had in a while.
Pitch talk, from Martin Laidler: “Turgid pitches like this one is not just a turn off for the paying public but possibly another reason to turn heads towards the IPL from a bowlers perspective. Panning for gold in Tesco’s car park would seem more fruitful that bowling all day and night on this deck.”
72nd over: West Indies 194-2 (Brathwaite 98, Samuels 17)
Anderson, who hasn’t been seen for seemingly days, is back, back, back into the attack. The vaguest hint of swing first up, but nothing especially vicious, as Anderson aims at Brathwaite’s pads and posts men at short mid-on and short mid-wicket. Nothing doing though, both in terms of runs and wickets.
John Starbuck’s been on with another view of Colin Wood’s opus: “That 71st over stuff reads more like Finnegan’s Wake. Not necessarily a bad thing, as we’ve long abandoned the idea of anyone making sense from this match.”
71st over: West Indies 194-2 (Brathwaite 98, Samuels 17)
Nice from Brathwaite, who takes advantage of the lack of slips by guiding nicely through the bit of the field where they might have been. Jordan comes around the wicket, Brathwaite puts a single out to fine leg and he’s close to that century. It’ll be his fourth Test ton if he gets there.
No idea what’s going on here from Colin Wood, but we haven’t had an email for a while, so enjoy...
“There’s a Broad,
Three draws, sores, Peter on Moores,
Murdered cricket Murdoch’s ticket ,
No frog spawn in the local pond.
Gatts poking into the future.
Mitch n Starc n Bullingdon in charge..
Nick it...nick it...nick it!”
It’s like a Roger McGough take on ‘Subterranean Homesick Blues.’
70th over: West Indies 188-2 (Brathwaite 93, Samuels 17)
Moeen, Moeen, Moeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen carries on. Brathwaite goes about as far back as he can without stepping behind Buttler, and cuts out to point for a couple, then turns down a gift of a leg-stump full-toss, only managing to swipe the thing out to the fielder in the deep. Samuels takes a couple of meaty swings, but doesn’t manage a run.
69th over: West Indies 185-2 (Brathwaite 90, Samuels 17)
All the slips have come out, which clearly means Jordan is going to adopt a Bodyline approach.Well, the ankle is technically part of the body, and that’s what he aims for as Samuels flips a single around the corner. Big appeal for lbw as Jordan strikes Brathwaite’s pads, the ump turns it down and the stump mic picks him up saying he ‘heard two sounds’, but England refer it. They check the no ball and Jordan genuinely only had about a millimetre of boot behind the line...then it’s to the matter at hand, and the replay shows there was indeed an edge, so umpire Steve Davis clearly has excellent ears. No syringing required for him. Jordan then nearly gets one through Brathwaite’s defences, but he enters the 90s with a thick inside edge. Decent enough over, worth trying something different at least.
68th over: West Indies 183-2 (Brathwaite 89, Samuels 16)
Another couple for Brathwaite, as he almost suspiciously swats a Moeen full-toss to sort of wide mid-on, which is well-saved on the boundary and they waste a chance for more runs, by taking a rather ‘relaxed’ approach to movement between the wickets.
67th over: West Indies 181-2 (Brathwaite 87, Samuels 16)
Brathwaite’s getting giddy now, and he drives quite nicely, but again not exactly with impeccable timing, through the covers and they run well to take three. Jordan strikes Samuels on the pads, there’s a half-hearted appeal but it’s turned down on account of it missing leg stump by miles. Broad, of course, is in the vicinity, presumably discussing a review. No, Stuey-stu-stu. Now.
66th over: West Indies 178-2 (Brathwaite 84, Samuels 16)
More Moeen, and Brathwaite edges back and pushes a single to a vacant point region. Mo tosses one up to Samuels in a clear attempt to progress the Narrative, as the drive finds Stokes at short cover. The commitment to this Narrative from everyone concerned is just exceptional.
65th over: West Indies 177-2 (Brathwaite 83, Samuels 16)
Here’s Chris Jordan, with a spread field, slips at roughly two and five, who aren’t called into action as Brathwaite clips a single just backward of square. Jordan sort of gets one to rise a bit, but only a little bit, then Samuels lets one go that we can file in the ‘good leave’ category - i.e., it went about four inches past off stump.
That sodding trumpet goon is playing ‘Sweet Caroline’, so here’s the proper version...
64th over: West Indies 176-2 (Brathwaite 82, Samuels 16)
Moeen gets away with an absolutely rotten long-hop, that Samuels almost has too much time to weigh up, slapping it as he does for a single down to long-on. Brathwaite goes back and plays a decent late cut just past Jordan at slip, and they fairly dance through for a couple, then they hesitantly dash through for a single, the ball after turning down a run from a near-identical shot.
63rd over: West Indies 172-2 (Brathwaite 79, Samuels 15)
Graeme Swann, who’s out there working for Test Match Special, was just pictured kicking back and enjoying the sun, singing along to ‘Blurred Lines.’ Brathwaite, edging towards a century like an asthmatic ant with some heavy shopping, pushes a single in the vague direction of mid-wicket. Stokes decides to jazz things up a bit by coming round the wicket, but the result is a Samuels single pushed off his hips.
62nd over: West Indies 170-2 (Brathwaite 78, Samuels 14)
A radical change in direction and approach as off-spinner Moeen Ali replaces off-spinner Joe Root, but here’s the twist *looks left, looks right, whispers* this time he’s coming over the wicket! Samuels rocks back and cuts for a single, unleashing the insatiable Brathwaite, who collects himself two runs with something close to an attacking shot, a slightly awkward-looking pull thing out towards the mid-wicket fence. He repeats the stroke a couple of balls later, but this one goes straight to the fielder and they just get a single.
61st over: West Indies 166-2 (Brathwaite 75, Samuels 13)
Stokes is probing, probing, probing. Wide, wide, wide, then a straight one, from which Samuels shovels a single, bringing Brathwaite, who has seemingly recovered from that flurry of shots (two) and couple of overs ago, and reverts to doing sod all.
60th over: West Indies 165-2 (Brathwaite 75, Samuels 12)
More Root, round the wicket again, and one goes far too wide of leg and Samuels regards it with no little curiosity as Buttler misses it. They amble through to collect the byes, seemingly under the impression that it was going to the boundary, but no dice there and a good diving scoop-back by Stokes saves a couple of runs. Samuels clips a single to square leg to bring the scores level.
59th over: West Indies 162-2 (Brathwaite 75, Samuels 11)
Stokes again, and he’s keeping it off stump, which hasn’t tempted Samuels into something ill-advised as yet. A slightly straighter one is pushed to mid-on and they go for a quick single, a throw from Root being a little to errant to cause any problems. Brathwaite then flirts at one outside off, a vague shot that sort of looked like it might be an attempted guide to third man, but whatever it was, it didn’t work.
58th over: West Indies 161-2 (Brathwaite 75, Samuels 10)
Samuels is on strike to Root, giving Brathwaite a break from his tormentor, but not a long one as he drills a single to a deep mid-off. And there’s Kraigg’s runs! Root rather generously serves up a leg-stump full-toss, which Brathwaite gratefully flips in front of backward-square and to the boundary. And then it’s a run bonanza! As Root over-corrects, drops short and a bit wide, and Brathwaite cuts for a couple.
Tim Sanders has some thoughts on the absent young (I’m sticking with that) leg-spinner: “It doesn’t prove anything about England’s wrong-headed selection policy, but (for different reasons) these are my two favourite Adil Rashid wickets of 2014:
“For looping flighted perfection - thirty seconds into this, the perfect googly to the troublesome left-hander in the lower order bamboozles Magoffin, of Sussex, on day two at Scarborough.
“From which Lancastrians may wish to shield their eyes - one minute forty seconds into this, Ashwell Prince essays the reverse sweep on day one at Old Trafford.”
57th over: West Indies 154-2 (Brathwaite 69, Samuels 9)
Here’s Stokes, and he’s bowling to Samuels. This is narrative in action, people, and it’s thrilling. First blood to Samuels, who drives with minimal fuss through the covers, but doesn’t find the meat of the bat with the shot and they take two. He then opens the face, guiding the ball down past the slips for an ambled single. This isn’t how it was supposed to be, Marlon and Ben. Where are the salutes? Where is the needle? Where is the continuation of the outrage and storylines? Buck your bloody ideas up.
56th over: West Indies 151-2 (Brathwaite 69, Samuels 6)
More Root, more leg/outside leg bowling to Brathwaite, more vaguely ill-advised hoying sweep attempts. Brathwaite hasn’t scored a run in eight overs, now.
55th over: West Indies 151-2 (Brathwaite 69, Samuels 6)
Broad grunts like a tennis player as he delivers, and gets Samuels cutting. One goes into the ground and is very nicely stopped by Root in the gully, while the next goes just in front of him and they get two runs. Stokes is limbering up, so some fun ahoy, perhaps.
54th over: West Indies 149-2 (Brathwaite 69, Samuels 4)
Root again, bowling what historians of England tours to the sub-continent call the Ashley Giles Line, and while Brathwaite nearly ties himself in some knots trying some extravagant sweeps, it’s another maiden. The Windies are 16 runs behind, by the way.
53rd over: West Indies 149-2 (Brathwaite 69, Samuels 4)
Joe Root, in that Yorkshire Orville the Duck voice of his, calls Samuels “an absolute wally”, as Stokes continues to clap slowly. The new batsman then eschews footwork and belts a full one just over one of the two short covers to get off the mark with a four, but you’d imagine England won’t be too disappointed if he keeps trying that.
52nd over: West Indies 145-2 (Brathwaite 69, Samuels 0)
Root continues, which is maybe understandable going on the ‘seam one end, spin at the other’ theory, but he hasn’t exactly looked like ripping through this line-up. Still, nobody else has, I guess. A maiden.
51st over: West Indies 145-2 (Brathwaite 69, Samuels 0)
Samuels is in, and Ben Stokes is standing at short mid-wicket clapping slowly, slowly, and giggling with Anderson like a pair of delighted schoolboys. Samuels lets the first ball go outside off.
Colum Farrelly writes (admittedly before the wicket): “Your comment about tedium reminded me of this, from OBO 2011 World Cup: ‘...the first time I watched televised cricket with my girlfriend (now wife),” says Edmund King. “After a few thoughtful minutes of silence, she opined, ‘you know, this game would be more interesting if they just randomly released some lions onto the field. Right about now’. Moral of story: be wary about marrying classics graduates.”
But it is an idea, no?
WICKET! Bravo c Buttler b Broad 69 (West Indies 145-2)
Stuey-stu-stu Broad is into the attack, and has a lengthy meeting that nearly required a stenographer and minutes with Anderson about what to do here, before eventually troubling himself to bowl the ball. Which he does, wide of off stump, as England try to induce an iffy drive or get something unexpected to happen out of the footmarks. And it works! Sort of. Bravo offers an indeterminate poke just outside off, and feathers an edge through to Buttler. Oh merciful gods, truly you have brought us something today. Does this mean we have to sacrifice someone or something to you? Bagsy not it.
50th over: West Indies 145-1 (Brathwaite 69, Bravo 69)
David Gower and Nasser Hussain have started banging on about the bibs the assortment of Twelfthers are wearing as they dash on with some drinks. Bravo takes himself a single, and for a moment both bats are on the same score. What a time to be alive. Brathwaite then damn near chops Root onto his own stumps - well, it wasn’t that near, but you’ve got to make your own fun in these situations.
Still, at least Richard Thomson is having fun: “Amid the comments of Dullsville, I’m realy enjoying the application and skill of the WI ‘mediocre’ batsmen against an inspirationally genius wonder of an England bowling attack. 139-run partnership and now almost level on scores with just one down, after WI had to bat in far less helpful batting conditions on day 1. It’s fascinating to watch, although I appreciate it might not be much fun to OBO about.”
49th over: West Indies 144-1 (Brathwaite 69, Bravo 68)
Anderson bangs a short one in, but Brathwaite makes a brew, has a sandwich, hems some trousers and reads ‘À la recherche du temps perdu’ in the time it takes to get there, eventually dabbing a single just in front of point. Bravo nudges another single into the vast swathes of space on the on side.
48th over: West Indies 142-1 (Brathwaite 68, Bravo 67)
Hey, look at this - more things happening! Root tries to york Bravo, a maverick approach for a spinner, but then drops too short and he rocks back and cuts to the boundary, leaving Broad chasing after it forlornly.
Nick Errington replies to the splendidly-rhyming Chris Herrington, thus: “Can Rashid still be described as a young talented leggie? He’s been around forever.”
Dilly is 27, so since I’m 31 & 3/4, he’s definitely young. Definitely. Shut up, OK?
47th over: West Indies 138-1 (Brathwaite 68, Bravo 63)
Nothing’s happening. Please let something happen soon. Something. Anything. Oh, there’s a thing - Bravo takes a meaty swing at one pitched up on off stump, and with mid-off wide it skips merrily to the boundary. He tries the same next up, but this time hits it straight to Jordan, who fields in a manner smoother than the bonnet of a Porsche, nearly running Bravo out in the process as they dash a one.
46th over: West Indies 133-1 (Brathwaite 68, Bravo 58)
Root again, and Brathwaite plays potentially the ugliest sweep shot of all time, frankly lucky not to get a massive top edge on it and get himself out in a most aesthetically displeasing manner. He doesn’t, though, and that’s the fourth maiden on the spin.
45th over: West Indies 133-1 (Brathwaite 68, Bravo 58)
Anderson continues, around the wicket, and tries a short one that Bravo sways absent-mindedly away from. He drives at a fuller one, but can only achieve a thickish edge that is halted in the gully. And on, and on, and on, and on...
Updated
44th over: West Indies 133-1 (Brathwaite 68, Bravo 58)
Root continues, and Brathwaite gets a bat for the first time since tea, which is lovely for him. Hint of a chance as he tickles one around the corner, and nearly into the hopeful hands of leg slip. The faintest whiff of excitement - it’s come to this, people.
Maybe they could shake hands at close of play today and spend tomorrow on the beach? #wiveng
— Innocent Bystander (@InnoBystander) April 24, 2015
43rd over: West Indies 133-1 (Brathwaite 68, Bravo 58)
Hello. Maybe Bravo has tried to up things a bit, as he throws everything at a wide full one, which rockets to the boundary but only just - just - flashes past a diving Jordan. Bit lucky to get away with that one, was Darren.
“If only England had a young and talented leg spinner that could turn this test on it’s head...” observes Chris Herrington, giving the distinct impression that he has someone specific in mind.
42nd over: West Indies 129-1 (Brathwaite 68, Bravo 54)
Fifty up for Bravo, who rocks back and slice-cuts Root behind point for a boundary, and it’s been a pretty dogged innings, but the one his team needed at this stage. For the third over in a row, he takes a single off the last ball, thus greedily hogging the strike. Give Kraigg a go, big man.
41st over: West Indies 124-1 (Brathwaite 68, Bravo 49)
Anderson is back from t’other end, and causes Bravo a couple of problems. First, he beats the edge with the batsman dangling his blade a little, then induces and false drive, that ends with a sliced thick-edge drive falling just short of gully. And that’s what’s passing for entertainment at the moment. Bravo gets plenty of the final ball of the over, but a splendid diving stop at mid-off from Jordan prevents him getting more than a single.
40th over: West Indies 123-1 (Brathwaite 68, Bravo 48)
Root continues, and beats Bravo’s edge with one that grips a little, but that’s the only event, such as it is, from the over before a quick single from the final ball.
Before the cricket starts again, here’s Erik Petersen:
“So, um, brief personal announcement if everybody’s got a moment.
“I just found out my British citizenship’s been granted. I moved back to the US last year but lived over your way for more than a decade, and the OBO played a big part in me getting into cricket. Well, that and the fact that Trent Bridge is the best place on earth. Oh, and beer. I’d like to thank beer.
“Anyway, if any OBOers are in the general vicinity of the British consulate in Miami on May 5, I’ll probably look for the nearest place that does a proper celebratory beverage. I’ll be the one in the tie from Ryan Sidebottom’s benefit year dinner.
“Also, if any OBOers know of a place in Miami that shows the cricket and does proper ale, I’d appreciate the help. I tried to Google “Miami handpull” but, well, there are some unseemly things on the internet.”
Hello, Nick again. Well, that was all quite tedious, and when nailing a bit of astroturf into the ground is the highlight of a session, you have to wonder. Remember last night when everyone got over-excited about a salute? Well, what we wouldn’t give for that sort of banter now.
Actually, thinking about it, ‘Nailing A Bit Of Astroturf Into The Ground’ sounds a bit like an Alan Bennett play. Other nominations for similar things of a cricketing oeuvre will be well-received, at least to pass the time until Marlon Samuels comes in. Email nick.miller@guardian.co.uk.
TEA
Well that is totally teatime. It has been a session of few highlights, although there was some fun involving astroturf. Brathwaite and Bravo are batting very nicely, on a helpful pitch, against some forgiving bowling. Nick Miller will return forthwith to guide you through to stumps – emails to nick.miller@guardian.co.uk if you’d be so kind. Bye!
39th over: West Indies 122-1 (Brathwaite 68, Bravo 47)
Ali bowls to Brathwaite, with a single slip, short leg and a leg gully in place. It keeps him quiet, and for the final delivery he goes round the wicket, brings in a silly point and promptly gets swept for four.
Updated
38th over: West Indies 118-1 (Brathwaite 64, Bravo 47)
Root continues, and Brathwaite sends the last ball trundling to point, where Stokes catches up with it a few feet from the rope but can’t stop them running three.
Updated
37th over: West Indies 115-1 (Brathwaite 61, Bravo 47)
Ali comes back after a change of ends, and after a Brathwaite single Bravo hits over cover and away for four, and the next ball gets some bounce and turn and goes straight through Buttler and away for four byes. “Intersting point about DIY,” writes David Clemson, “there’s a security paint that never dries.”
36th over: West Indies 106-1 (Brathwaite 60, Bravo 43)
The camera shows Cook talking intently to Root, at the bowler’s end, while Root takes his cap off and flexes his arms. “I think he might just give Root a go,” says Ian Botham on Sky, as if he’s really going out on a limb here. Anyway, the clever thing is absolutely spot on, Root does indeed bowl, and it’s a maiden.
35th over: West Indies 106-1 (Brathwaite 60, Bravo 43)
Brathwaite cuts late to third man for four. “If Test cricket is to survive, they should just forget about the Test cricket on days like this and focus on the DIY,” suggests Erik Petersen. “Look, everybody loves those shows where a couple type-A personalities go around trying to salvage houses. The most interesting thing that’s happened today involved Little Lord Broadelroy getting huffy and some grounds crew subsequently running on with some astroturf and Rather Big Nails. Focus on that! Call it Turf Wars or something. Have Athers go behind the scenes with the grounds crew. Let viewers hold their breath waiting to see if Willis will give the turf his highest possible rating, ‘inadequate’. Eschew the cricket on days like this and go full DIY.” Well, it’s an option.
34th over: West Indies 101-1 (Brathwaite 56, Bravo 43)
Brathwaite cuts to third man for three, which takes the score into treble figures. England’s lead is whittled down to 64 runs, and at the end of the over they try to convince the umpires to change the ball, but do not succeed.
33rd over: West Indies 96-1 (Brathwaite 53, Bravo 41)
Broad has swapped ends and is still bowling a bit wider than he did on day one, but also much slower than he did on day two. Brathwaite cuts the 75mph fourth delivery for four to complete his half-century. “If Test Cricket is to survive in the long term, perhaps playing it on wickets which, unlike this, offer some pace, bounce or spin might help?” proffers Christopher Dale. “There’s little spectacle or enjoyment in watching two teams score like this for five days.”
Updated
32nd over: West Indies 92-1 (Brathwaite 49, Bravo 41)
Again all the run-scoring is confined to the final delivery, though “all the run-scoring” is perhaps overselling a single to cover. Ali seems much improved this innings, at least in terms of containment.
Mo settling in a little better now. Doesnt need to do anything spectacular, just be consistent to apply pressure. But needs help other end.
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) April 24, 2015
31st over: West Indies 91-1 (Brathwaite 48, Bravo 41)
This is on its way to maidenhood as well, until Jordan angles the final delivery towards Bravo’s pads, and he flicks it through midwicket for a couple.
30th over: West Indies 89-1 (Brathwaite 48, Bravo 39)
Ali bowls, and every other ball yields a single. If West Indies had any decency they would, like the English, voluntarily run someone out basically now-ish to keep things interesting.
29th over: West Indies 86-1 (Brathwaite 47, Bravo 37)
Two singles and a boundary, Brathwaite sending Jordan’s final ball – short, wide and asking to be wallopped – just beyond the grasp of Stokes at backward point and off for four. Meanwhile I’ve got to disagree with Selve here: saluting someone out has significantly less egg-on-face potential than saluting them in. A full guard-of-honour out, involving all players, 12th man, coaching staff and physios, would on the other hand be excellent.
Athers and I think that when Samuels comes in the Eng team should line up and salute him in.
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) April 24, 2015
28th over: West Indies 80-1 (Brathwaite 42, Bravo 36)
A run! Only one, but still, the greatest feasts start with a teeny amuse bouche, or something.
27th over: West Indies 79-1 (Brathwaite 41, Bravo 36)
Bravo’s first-ball cover-drive is well fielded, saving at least a couple of runs, and he’s so dispirited he defends or ignores entirely the rest of the over. 37%.
Never mind whether it will or won't help England win the game: Cook owes it to cricket to bowl Stokes the moment Samuels comes in.
— Rob Smyth (@100ashesquotes) April 24, 2015
He should also, ideally, have had somebody feeding Stokes raw meat throughout any breaks in play.
— Rob Smyth (@100ashesquotes) April 24, 2015
26th over: West Indies 79-1 (Brathwaite 41, Bravo 36)
Make that 34.6%, Ali adding another notch to the maiden bedpost.
25th over: West Indies 79-1 (Brathwaite 41, Bravo 36)
Another maiden, from Jordan. 32% of all overs in this innings have been maidens. Oh for the unexpected arrival of a wildly charismatic game-changer …
24th over: West Indies 79-1 (Brathwaite 41, Bravo 36)
Moeen Ali bowls a maiden. “Sitting in the office, Rio de Janeiro, following this long batting practice, wondering when the Test match starts,” writes David Clemson. A little harsh, but this match has had an air of draw about it since the rain on day two, and it’s starting to really pong now. There remains, of course, time for the stench to blow away – a day and a half, less a few overs.
23rd over: West Indies 79-1 (Brathwaite 41, Bravo 36)
Hello again! Well this looks like an extremely fine day to be batting, and Brathwaite is starting to relax a little and enjoy himself. Jordan’s first ball is sent to long leg for a couple, and then the fourth is slapped past point for four, before a single off the last keeps him on strike.
That’s drinks, which means Simon Burnton will take you through to tea. Email your whimsy to Simon.Burnton@theguardian.com.
22nd over: West Indies 72-1 (Brathwaite 34, Bravo 36)
More parsimony from Moeen, until the penultimate ball of the over which is pretty short, and a batsman in better touch would have spanked that to or beyond the boundary, but Brathwaite only scoops it out to deep mid-wicket for two. Then a similar ball is pulled slightly straighter than that, and they come through for two more.
Updated
21st over: West Indies 67-1 (Brathwaite 29, Bravo 36)
Stokes sends one across Bravo, which the batsman subsequently sends zooting to the boundary with a rapid cut shot. Then there’s a fuller ball on middle, that Bravo drives nicely down the ground for a couple. Stokes then loses his run-up, and for a moment looks like he’s done a mischief to something or other, but he’s built like a loaf of bread left out for a week (apart from when he punches bits of the dressing room, of course), so no harm done. Nevertheless, he switches to around the wicket and pitches one up, which Bravo drives and gets a thickish edge which scoots through the slips for four. Bravo is cross with himself for the false shot, mind.
20th over: West Indies 57-1 (Brathwaite 29, Bravo 26)
Better this by Moeen, who isn’t offering a great deal of flight but thus isn’t offering a great deal of chances to score. And they don’t, not from that over anyway. Here’s some more Blackadder:
19th over: West Indies 57-1 (Brathwaite 29, Bravo 26)
Brathwaite flashes a little late and a little uncertainly at Stokes, getting four through roughly where fourth slip’s hands would’ve been. He then whips a single off middle stump, then Stokes comes within a whisker of nailing Bravo in front, an inside edge saving the batsman, who then does well to keep out a rapid yorker.
18th over: West Indies 52-1 (Brathwaite 24, Bravo 26)
Moeen’s getting another go, on in place of Jordan, with Cook presumably hoping that he sends down something better than the rot he’s thus far offered. And he does, drawing some ooohs and aaahs from behind the wicket (admittedly not a foolproof indication of off-spinning quality), which get Bravo prodding not entirely certainly. “Can’t resist the big drive here, Mo,” says Buttler about Bravo, but the cunning reverse psychology doesn’t work and the left-hander proves he can exactly resist the big drive, Mo, by not playing one. A maiden.
17th over: West Indies 52-1 (Brathwaite 24, Bravo 26)
These bowling changes aren’t looking overly-hot at the moment. Stokes is sort of cut off the front foot by Brathwaite, which goes between second slip and gully for four, and brings up the Windies 50. The rest of the over is reasonably tidy, though.
16th over: West Indies 48-1 (Brathwaite 20, Bravo 26)
Jordan starts his next over with a right eggy stinker of a long-hop, but Bravo doesn’t quite get hold of it and they scurry through for three. A single brings Bravo back on strike, and the next rubbish ball he gets - a half-volley on leg stump - is duly swished away to the fine leg ropes with nary a hint of fuss.
15th over: West Indies 40-1 (Brathwaite 19, Bravo 19)
A double bowling change, if you can imagine such a thing, with Stokes on for Anderson, and his first ball is at Brathwaite’s hip and he tucks it neatly off said hip and to the fine leg fence. Then a spot of the old over-correction from Stokes, with a short, wide ‘un that Brathwaite carefully cuts between point and gully for another boundary. The next few are more on-point, particularly the last of the over which nips away and whistles past the outside edge.
14th over: West Indies 32-1 (Brathwaite 11, Bravo 19)
Broad’s complaints about the bowler’s run-up have been taken into account and are being dealt with in pleasingly ‘village’ fashion - specifically by nailing a square yard of astroturf into the ground (using about the biggest nails you’ve ever seen) just off the pitch. Although their efforts are vaguely in vain, because Chris Jordan’s into the attack for him now, who isn’t so disquieted by where his feet fall and sends down an uneventful maiden.
Updated
13th over: West Indies 32-1 (Brathwaite 11, Bravo 19)
Brathwaite collects a couple with a slightly curious shot that bounces into the pitch, then eludes Anderson’s grasping right hand by a couple of inches and toddles down the ground. He then fishes absurdly at a shortish, wideish one outside off, that he would’ve been spanked with a wet slipper for if he’d edged it, but mercifully for him he missed. He’s surviving at the moment, but not a huge amount more.
12th over: West Indies 30-1 (Brathwaite 9, Bravo 19)
Looks like it could be the footholes could be the problem, because Broad is bowling from very wide on the crease now - we’re talking Makhaya Ntini wide. Brathwaite drives solidly at one of those floaty full-pitchers, but a fine stop at mid-off by Trott stops any run. Broad then bangs one in that discomforts Brathwaite hugely, getting bigger on the batsman than he thought and it catches his thumb - that is shaken thoroughly afterwards - but the ball falls just short of Cook at first slip. He gets the first run for a while with a tuck just in front of mid-wicket.
Updated
11th over: West Indies 29-1 (Brathwaite 8, Bravo 19)
An uneventful over from Anderson, other than the final ball which beats Bravo on the outside edge. Broad’s still chuntering. Actually, assume that’s always the case unless I mention otherwise.
10th over: West Indies 29-1 (Brathwaite 8, Bravo 19)
Broad isn’t happy about something. Twelfthy Mark Wood has been out twice between overs, beckoned over like a waiter in a gentleman’s club and sent back into the dressing room for something or other, and he looks as baffled as to the blonde prince’s directions as the rest of us, and no solution can be found. One theory is Broad is miffed about some aspects of the footholes/follow-through, but quite what anyone in the dressing room can do about that is unclear. Anyway, he isn’t perturbed enough to concede a run from that over, the last ball coming from around the wicket.
9th over: West Indies 29-1 (Brathwaite 8, Bravo 19)
Anderson beats Brathwaite with a ripper that shapes in but held its line after pitching, which has the batsman groping like a bespectacled man in a sauna. He tucks a single off his thigh from the last ball of the over, going a ways wide of the man at short-leg.
8th over: West Indies 28-1 (Brathwaite 7, Bravo 19)
Broad has the ball, hollered on by Cook, who for all his fine qualities does not appear to be a man who could persuade someone to walk through fire. Or even a slightly-warmer-than-expected conservatory, really. Brathwaite, with that curious back-lift of his, sees off a few before dropping a single near the covers. Sky show some footage of Michael Atherton doing some keepy-uppies with a football before the day’s play, and to say the great man looks as stiff as a board is quite the understatement. You keep an eye on that back, son.
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7th over: West Indies 27-1 (Brathwaite 6, Bravo 19)
Anderson throws down a few wide ones to Bravo, wide ones that seem to shape further away, which if I was the batsman would make me even more nervous, on the assumption that an absolutely colossal booming in-dipper was in the post. Eventually he does stray straighter, gradually inching across the stumps as the over goes on, to the extent that the final ball is on Bravo’s thigh and he tickles it for a fine four.
Anyway, the cricket’s about to start again. Anderson has the ball...
More Blackadder talk, and Angus Gowland stands shoulder-to-shoulder with the boy Starbuck, proudly booming his support for the first series: “Starbuck is right, everyone else is wrong. The first series is by far the best. It is uneven, yes, but it also has many deeply weird moments, Brian Blessed, and a great cameo by Peter Cook. It is also not burdened by the strenuous attempts to be clever-clever, pretentious wordplay, increasingly tedious self-referentiality, and Stephen Fry, all of which which suffocated the genuine comedy as time went on.”
Come on, Gowland. Everyone has their right to an opinion, but dismissing Melchett and Darling in ‘...Goes Forth’ just like that?
Meanwhile, here’s Andy Bradshaw: “I always enjoyed Blackadder 3rd the most (4’s Private Plane aside) the election episode is brilliant and Pitt the younger is Ed Miliband in a wig.”
Might be something to that...
Hats off to Joe...
Root's 182* the highest by an England player in West Indies since Dennis Amiss scored 262* in Jamaica in 1974. #WIvENG
— Andy Zaltzman (@ZaltzCricket) April 24, 2015
Hello loves, Nick here. Let’s start this stint with a controversial take from John Starbuck. “If you’re willing to run with this stuff from the morning session,” says John, “I’d like to put in a plea for the first Blackadder series. The first and last episodes weren’t so good, but once it got going there was plenty to enjoy: the Death of a Scotsman, the Spanish Infanta, the Witchsmeller Pursuivant, the Archbishop of Canterbury, not to mention all the catchphrases which originated here - ‘morning peasant, a cunning plan (and precisely how cunning it was) and the actual Shakespeare quotations. Let’s give it due credit, eh?”
LUNCH
And that is very much lunchtime. Nick Miller will be here shortly to take you through the immediate post-lunchy bit. Emails to nick.miller@guardian.co.uk, if you’d be so kind. “Mention of Blackadder Goes Forth on these pages, and so soon after the World Cup fiasco, wouldn’t be complete without a reminder of this classic bantz,” writes Kieron Shaw, “about as perfect a questioning of our ODI cricketing strategy, by England’s fans, as anything anyone could muster.”
Melchett: In short, a German spy is giving away every one of our battle plans. You look surprised, Blackadder.
Blackadder: I certainly am, sir. I didn’t realise we had any battle plans.
Melchett: Well, of course we have! How else do you think the battles are directed?
Blackadder: Our battles are directed, sir?
6th over: West Indies 22-1 (Brathwaite 5, Bravo 15)
England try their luck on the overofspinbeforelunchometer. They get no luck. Bravo gets away with edging one, the ball flying past second slip and away for a couple, and then thumps the next down the ground for four, and the one after that – a full toss – through midwicket for four more.
Moeen on and Bravo plays for lunch by belting him for 10 off the over. WI 22-1 at lunch,
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) April 24, 2015
5th over: West Indies 12-1 (Brathwaite 5, Bravo 5)
Five slips again line up as Anderson bowls to Bravo, but the bowler goes too straight, and the batsman works the ball to square leg for a single. Brathwaite, on the other hand, gets only two slips.
4th over: West Indies 8-1 (Brathwaite 2, Bravo 4)
So at the start of the match Broad was releasing the ball very close to the stumps, and bowling at around 80mph. Then he moved wider, and increased the speed to around 90mph. And today he’s still wide, but back at 80mph. Bravo flicks the ball off his pads and past midwicket for four.
3rd over: West Indies 3-1 (Brathwaite 1, Bravo 0)
This time Brathwaite has to wait until the third ball of over three before he gets the killer inswinger. This time, though, Anderson doesn’t nail it – it’s pitched too short, and would have missed the stumps even if it hadn’t clipped the handle of the bat, leading to the run that put Smith, fatefully, on strike. So Bravo comes in, and England have four slips and a gully in place for the final couple of deliveries. They don’t have any work to do.
WICKET! Smith b Anderson 2 (West Indies 3-1)
Smith plays on! The ball swings away from the batsman, who tries to leave it and fails, the ball clipping the bottom of the bat and deflecting into the stumps.
Updated
2nd over: West Indies 2-0 (Brathwaite 0, Smith 2)
So which Stuart Broad will be see today? Day one Broad, or day two Broad? His first few deliveries are timed around 80-82mph, one of them swinging slightly to go down the leg side, and Buttler does well to collect. Finally Smith gets the first runs of the innings via a leading edge. The last two deliveries are just under and then just over 79mph, which is very firmly in day-one-Broad territory.
1st over: West Indies 0-0 (Brathwaite 0, Smith 0)
The innings starts with an Anderson maiden, Brathwaite approaching him gingerly, understandably so given what happened to him in innings one.
Well played @joeroot05 and don't be too hard on @jimmy9 for the runout. That'll be hilarious in a couple of weeks time.
— Graeme Swann (@Swannyg66) April 24, 2015
Back the players come, interrupting some vitriolic anti-Bowden invective from Bob Willis on Sky, who’s absolutely scandalised by him taking four full minutes to decide that Jordan was indeed out.
3rd time England have had 3 men run out in a Test innings. Previously: 1901/02 in Adelaide; & a frantic 4th inns chase v Pakistan in 1987.
— Andy Zaltzman (@ZaltzCricket) April 24, 2015
INNINGS BREAK England 464 all out, lead by 165
And that’s the end of England’s innings. There were three run-outs, which is never a good sign, but that last one was downright weird. Root is unbeaten on 182, a thrillingly good innings, and departs furious, swishing his bat angrily. Perhaps Anderson was right to conserve his energy – the next several hours might be quite a slog.
Jimmy wants a bowl... he's lazily run-out. Eng 465 all out. Watch live on SS2 or follow via: http://t.co/aIQtuFw7Me pic.twitter.com/nHI7OsFaxf
— Sky Sports Cricket (@SkyCricket) April 24, 2015
Updated
WICKET! Anderson run out 2 (England 465 all out)
Well that’s just bizarre. Anderson jogs back to the non-striker’s end, assuming the ball will be returned to the wicket-keeper, doesn’t bother to reach out and ground his bat, and is thus out when Holder collects the ball high and dislodges the bails.
Updated
144th over: England 463-9 (Root 181, Anderson 2)
Again Root turns down runs from the first two deliveries, but he makes up for it by clobbering the fourth over cow corner for six. A single off the fifth leaves Anderson a single delivery to deal with. He deals with it.
@Simon_Burnton best blackadder for me... I ordered tea!!! https://t.co/tbIl0W0P63
— Simon Law (@thefunkyginger) April 24, 2015
Updated
143rd over: England 456-9 (Root 174, Anderson 2)
Holder continues and Root, bored of constantly picking out fielders in the deep and feeling unable to run, takes a single off the third delivery this time, leaving Anderson three balls to deal with. He deals with them.
142nd over: England 455-9 (Root 173, Anderson 2)
Root paddles the first to fine leg for a couple, and cuts the second to third man for two more. Emboldened, he tries to send the third back over Bishoo’s head for six but miscues, the ball landing between two fielders. Once again a single then leaves Anderson with two balls to deal with, the second of which is worked past cover to get him off the mark.
278 - Root & Anderson (278) now have the 3rd highest cumulative Test 10th wicket partnership, behind Gillespie/McGrath & Murali/Vaas. Duo.
— OptaJim (@OptaJim) April 24, 2015
141st over: England 446-9 (Root 166, Anderson 0)
Holder bowls, and Root hits straight in the direction of the fielder at midwicket, only above his desperate leap and away for four. Then a single leaves Anderson a couple of balls to deal with, which he just about does, despite totally missing the first of them, which only just avoided the stumps
Batting of the highest order from Root in this innings,even in the way he is marshalling the last wicket
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) April 24, 2015
140th over: England 441-9 (Root 161, Anderson 0)
Blammo! Kapow! Root advances to hoist the ball down the ground for six runs, and then grabs a single to retain the strike for over 141. “As my work have quite rightly banned any access to sites which show videos, play sounds or allow contact with human civilization, I have to make the best that I can of what I guess is essentially the modern day ‘watch by teletext’ that is OBO,” complains Rob Hogg. “In between deleting incoming emails, I noticed your Blackadder conversation. I don’t have much to add on it but I do want to weigh in. The second series is the best.”
139th over: England 432-9 (Root 152, Anderson 0)
Holder returns, and Root could have taken a single from the second delivery, or indeed the third, but turns them down to keep Anderson off strike. He then spears the fourth to the fielder at deep point and seems happy to stay where he is once again, only for Anderson to appear at his end and force him to shift.
138th over: England 431-9 (Root 151, Anderson 0)
Root sweeps to the boundary at square leg for four, which takes him to 150 runs, and then a single leaves Broad, fatefully, on strike. It becomes a spectacularly long over, once some more extended TV-umpire replay-watching and then some drinks are taken into account. “If there is one thing that humanity can agree on, and there is I think no more than one, it is that we are all lucky that Blackadder made it past one series. All of us,” writes Bob Miller.
Updated
WICKET! Broad c Smith b Bishoo 0 (England 431-9)
The ball certainly did hit Broad’s arm, but did it touch his left thumb, or perhaps a wristband, on its way through? Well, we don’t know. Probably. Certainly, there’s insufficient information to overturn the on-field decision.
Broad invokes his L'Oreal review after catch to backward short fine leg
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) April 24, 2015
Updated
REVIEW! Is Broad out here?
West Indies think so, the umpire thinks so, but Broad suspects the ball clipped his arm rather than his glove, and anyway, what the heck?
137th over: England 426-8 (Root 146, Broad 0)
Roach bowls, and Root … well … I’m not sure what exactly what Root was doing. I think he was trying to work the ball to third man, but it ended up much too close to him for that, just tickles the bottom of his bat and then flies underneath Ramdin and away for four. He does send the next ball to third man, whereupon his decision to run two, but then change his mind after one, spells curtains for Jordan.
Updated
WICKET! Jordan run out 16 (England 425-8)
That’s spectacularly close, but after a gazillion replays from a tetrazillion angles we can see that Jordan was probably out by an extraordinarily tiny margin, perhaps a centimetre or two. None of the angles absolutely prove this, but none of them make him look in either. After an absolute age, TV umpire Billy Bowden makes his mind up. DECISION PENDING! says the big screen, but it then fails. DECISION PENDING! it says again, a moment later, but then it fails again. OUT! it says then.
Jordan run out. Go on Billy, wait a ridiculous amount of time and then give the wrong decision.
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) April 24, 2015
136th over: England 421-7 (Root 141, Jordan 16)
Bishoo doesn’t like to smile very much. Inscrutable, he is. Anyway, his first three balls yield singles, and his last three balls don’t yield anything.
Updated
135th over: England 418-7 (Root 139, Jordan 15)
Roach’s first ball is worked past gully and away for four by Root, who adds a couple more runs off the next ball, and a single off the one after that. Talk about diminishing returns. Sheesh. “I’m afraid I can’t let that one slide; the fourth series of Blackadder is incontestably the best,” roars Alex Bramble. “Blackie’s ripostes are better than ever, Flash’s cameos are vastly superior to previous series; and Melchett is majestic: ‘It’s like trying to teach a woman the value of a good forward defensive stroke.’” It’s like having to choose between a perfectly ripe mango and the collected works of Graham Greene. They’re both wonderful, in their own ways.
134th over: England 409-7 (Root 131, Jordan 14)
“Are England going to pass 400 here?” asked Simon Gates about 10 minutes ago. I’m going to stick my neck out and say they are. “Am I right that that hasn’t happened for a while?” Well, they did it three times against India last summer, which was their last Test series before this one, so the answer is either yes, it’s been eight months now, or no, depending on how you look at things.
133rd over: England 408-7 (Root 130, Jordan 14)
Roach bowls, and Jordan pushes back past long on for four, easy as that, like he was milking a cow. Which might not be easy, but strikes me as the kind of thing you do in a fairly relaxed way once you’ve got used to it. Meanwhile we’ve just launched a story about a potential split in world cricket, which may be of interest.
The International Cricket Council has launched an urgent investigation after the Essel Group, the company behind the now defunct Indian Cricket League, began registering companies with names that appear to be rival national cricket boards, raising fears of a future split in world cricket.
The matter was discussed during last week’s ICC board meeting in Dubai, along with the recent registration of website domain names, including worldcricketcouncil.co.in, by an employee of the broadcaster Ten Sports, which is a subsidiary of the Essel-owned Zee Entertainment Enterprises.
Cricket Australia was the first body to be alerted to the issue last December and have subsequently objected to the registration of Australia Cricket Control Limited by the subsidiary Essel Corporation Mauritius. New Zealand Cricket has also issued similar proceedings against the establishment of New Zealand Cricket Limited, Kiwi Cricket limited and Aotearoa Cricket Limited (after the Maori name for the country) by the same company.
132nd over: England 403-7 (Root 129, Jordan 10)
Root sweeps to square leg, where the ball is fielded on the rope and the batsmen run two. There’s also a single off the last. England’s lead is now in triple figures.
131st over: England 400-7 (Root 126, Jordan 10)
… but Gabriel doesn’t return, with Kemar Roach replacing him. Jordan celebrates by sending a delicious cover drive rumbling to the rope to take England’s total to four hundred.
Updated
130th over: England 396-7 (Root 126, Jordan 6)
Root scores his 2,000th Test run, and it’s not one he’ll remember for long, being as it is the most humdrum of singles off Bishoo. Jordan gets one too, off the final ball, allowing him to resume his battle with Gabriel post-haste.
129th over: England 394-7 (Root 125, Jordan 5)
Ooof! Crikey! Gabriel bowls at Jordan – fast – and he nervously fends it into the top of his pad, whence it bounces into the air and down onto the foot of off stump. The bails remain unmoved by the experience, and he’s therefore free to lean back and pummel the next through midwicket for four.
128th over: England 389-7 (Root 124, Jordan 1)
Bishoo bowls to Buttler, who hits it back towards the bowler. “Catch it Bish!” cries Ramdin. Fat chance: by the time the bowler’s flung a hand out to block the ball, it’s already rocketing over the rope. The attempt to do it again next ball was, in hindsight, regrettable.
WICKET! Buttler st Ramdin b Bishoo 13 (England 387-7)
That’s fine bowling. Buttler, having just thwacked the previous ball for four, tries to repeat the trick, is deceived by the flight of the ball and is emphatically stumped.
Updated
127th over: England 382-6 (Root 122, Buttler 9)
So much for speedy run-accumulation: Gabriel’s disciplined bowling brings a single to Root off the second ball, and little else. “Controversial reference to the third series of Blackadder, presumably suggesting it was the best,” writes Bob Miller. “While it was great, the second was clearly the best. Now I’m off to Hampton Court to stand at the end of a passage and pretend to be a door.” The second is also excellent, and the fourth is splendid. The first was a bit rubbish, mind.
126th over: England 381-6 (Root 121, Buttler 9)
England clearly want to score quite quickly this morning, as is evident from a seven-run Bishoo over, featuring as it does three singles, a couple of twos and one lonely dot ball at the end.
125th over: England 374-6 (Root 119, Buttler 4)
Gabriel gets the day under way, and Root adds another run to his total. Sky are, meanwhile, absolutely obsessed with the Marlon Samuels-Ben Stokes salute. I mean, it was quite funny, but to cricket commentators it’s like Richard Pryor, the Dead Parrot sketch and the third series of Blackadder rolled into one.
Updated
As West Indies get their morning gee-up from Curtly Ambrose, the two batsmen take to the field. The sun is shining, weather is sweet. Action imminent.
We’re due another early start today, so action should be just five little minutes away.
It was chanceless, precise and assembled with such timing on a surface that had flummoxed pretty much everyone who had batted on it before him that he might have been using an atomic clock where others were still on the sundial.
The Guardian’s own Mike Selvey there, on Joe Root’s century. And what a fine thing it indeed was, a ruby in the dust, a Monet in the charity shop, a Mozart in the primary-school-remedial-recorder-lessons-for-the-musically-illiterate.
What’s more, it isn’t over yet. England lead by 74 runs, but the dream of compiling a first-innings total so monumental they would be certain not to bat again still seems distant, with only Jordan, Broad and Anderson to follow should Root or Buttler fall. Still, where there’s life, there’s hope.
Meantime, I’ve recently been enjoying Kid Koala’s 2012 album 12 Bit Blues and so, apropos nothing, here’s a bit of it. And hello!
Updated
Simon will be here shortly. In the meantime, here’s what Thursday’s centurion Joe Root had to say about England’s prospects:
Joe Root has every hope that England can kick on and win the second Test against West Indies, after his first overseas century headlined a positive day for the visitors.
Root’s unbeaten 118 came with England posting a 74-run lead at the end of the third day while the score of 373 for six was also down to some impressive batting from England’s top order.
The captain, Alastair Cook, made 76 in a century stand with Jonathan Trott (59) at the top before Gary Ballance contributed 77 to a 165-run partnership with Root, making it a very happy St George’s Day in St George’s, Grenada.
