At long last, the wait is over. Not just the wait for England to finally knock off that small target, but too the wait for a first overseas win in more than two years. No one will get carried away and think it’s an achievement on par with that, but it is at least a monkey off the backs of Cook and Moores.
In truth, the match was won this morning. Root’s outstanding first-innings hundred set the platform for the win and Garry Ballance was outstanding during the chase, but Jimmy Anderson ripped the West Indies to shreds when their lead was still miniscule. From 145-1 they went to 282-8 and they never really looked like having enough.
England take a 1-0 lead in the series, and will be confident of backing that up with a win in the finale if the West Indies bowlers are struggling for fitness. In any case, there will be no humiliating series defeat, which must be a relief after that World Cup.
Thanks for all your tweets and emails. Sorry I couldn’t use them all. Cheers for reading, too. Bye!
Updated
England win by nine wickets
42nd over: England 144-1 (Cook 59, Ballance 81) target 143 Samuels then to Ballance, Three needed and the first ball is cut late, cut hard and cut for four runs. Winning runs, too.
41st over: England 140-1 (Cook 59, Ballance 77) target 143 Devon Smith, at slip, has a few choice words for Ballance. Let it go, guys. Ballance slaps out to extra cover for a couple, then cuts behind point for one more. He’s paced this chase perfectly, playing with the requisite caution to avoid embarrassment, but not getting bogged down and, well, boring everyone.
40th over: England 137-1 (Cook 59, Ballance 74) target 143 Ballance is ready to go home now: he wanders out his crease, goes down on one knee and marmalises Samuels’ delivery way over the rope at mid-on for his second six. A single and England are just a hit away. Go on Garry, you know you want to.
39th over: England 130-1 (Cook 59, Ballance 67) target 143 I return from a comfort break to see that Cook has forgone obdurate defence, doing that thing we’d almost forgotten he’s very good at and swinging a short delivery from Brathwaite elegantly, firmly through mid-on for four. 13 needed.
38th over: England 126-1 (Cook 55, Ballance 67) target 143 Ballance is dropped at gully, Devon Smith grounding a fairly simple chance once again. He was a little late moving for it to his right and got his knee in the way. Another maiden. What’s most galling of all is that England did step up a gear just before tea, but they’re getting stodgier and stodgier.
37th over: England 126-1 (Cook 55, Ballance 67) target 143 Ballance looks to hammer it through extra cover, but it’s stopped well. Instead he sweeps for a single, bringing Cook back on strike. Cook blocks.
36th over: England 125-1 (Cook 55, Ballance 66) target 143 Ballance goes for the hoik, clearing mid-wicket but the ball plugging in the outfield and only two runs ensue, before he cuts to point for one more.
35th over: England 122-1 (Cook 55, Ballance 63) target 143 22 needed and Ballance picks up one of them with an awkward sweep.
“There seems to be even more negativity coming from the commentariat than from Alastair Cook here,” writes Nicholas Burton. “Apart from Root, Jordan and the West Indian tail-enders no one has managed a strike rate of better than 50 on this pitch. Yet after a terrific morning session that we all thought would be beyond them England are proceeding ahead of the asking rate to a comfortable win and you seem to think they should be doing it 20/20 style.”
No one is saying this should be an IPL-esque slogfest, but it’s a bit of a joke that when you need 22 runs, with nine in hand, the man with 25 Test hundreds is playing out maidens when faced with a man who doesn’t actually bowl.
34th over: England 121-1 (Cook 55, Ballance 62) target 143 A single to Ballance makes him the third-quickest England batsman in terms of innings to make it to 1,000 Test runs. Well played. Cook edges the final ball of the over safely down to third man for four.
33rd over: England 116-1 (Cook 51, Ballance 61) target 143 “Please just end it now,” asks Ramdin of Cook. Or effectively does so, by bringing Kraigg Brathwaite on to bowl. Braithwaitte has bowled 52 balls in Test cricket, has an economy of dead on 6.00 and a bowling average and strike rate of exactly 52. Cook plays out a maiden, seeing off the destructive force. You see Alastair, this self-interested crap is why a lot of people don’t like you. Well, that and your hobby of shooting baby deer.
32nd over: England 116-1 (Cook 51, Ballance 61) target 143 Now I’m not trying to be rude, but get your effin backside in gear, Alastair. He pushes to cover for a single to finally bring up the easiest half-century he’s ever likely to score. That’s his 40th in Tests, plus the small matter of his 25 hundreds. Even if, as some of us fear, his best is in the past, that’s a monstrous record and one that Joe Root will have to go some way to beat. Ballance plays a deft late cut for two more to third man, then the batsmen exchange singles. 27 needed.
Joe Neate, of our old favouirtes the OBOcassionals, emails as follows:
“Hi Dan,
I’m a member of the OBOccasionals team comprised of readers of the OBO that have been on a couple of tours already, and we’re looking to do some more thoroughly mediocre cricketing this year.As such, we’re always looking for new members, as some of the existing team members have gone and done silly things like moving to China, or are expecting new babies at the height of the cricketing season! So, this is the first of numerous calls to action for your readers. If anyone is interested in playing for a friendly, enthusiastic group of extremely amateur cricketers over this summer, please get in touch. The last couple of years we’ve been to Finland, and Estonia, but this year it looks like we’re keeping things a little closer to home, with us lining up some games in Brighton and Godalming so far. We’ve got a facebook page or you can find our website here detailing our questionable exploits over the years. Absolutely all ranges of talent welcome, and if you like karaoke too, all the better. That is probably where our actual strengths lie to be honest.
Anyway, people can feel free to email me (joe.neate@gmail.com) or get in touch via the Facebook page. Please don’t be shy - we are an extremely welcoming group, and the weekends away we’ve had have been some of the most fun I’ve personally ever had!”
31st over: England 111-1 (Cook 49, Ballance 58) target 143 Ballance could quite conceivably reach 50 before Cook now, which would be pretty ridiculous given that Cook was 12 runs ahead of him, one away, and in the most comfortable situation a batsman could ask for. And there he goes, a crunching cover drive bringing up Ballance’s fifth Test 50 to go with his four hundreds in his 10th match. I do like this guy a lot you know. He wants this over and done with, by the looks of things as he ramps one over the slips for four more. Another cover drive, the man at mid-off half stopping it with a good palm, brings two more. 10 off the over.
“Dan,Good spot that (29th over),” writes John Starbuck. “Cook’s innings would be a superb foundation for an installation/video artist. Cornelia Parker - Introverted space explosion.”
Updated
30th over: England 101-1 (Cook 49, Ballance 48) target 143 I fear someone has spiked the coffee machine, because it looks to me as though Garry Ballance just walked down track to Samuels and launched a nice big straight six down the ground. Samuels drags his length back and, inevitably, Ballance goes deep in his crease and cuts behind point for four more to take England into three figures. The penultimate ball of the over is run down to third man for a single, before Cook tries to cut one that’s too close to the body.
29th over: England 90-1 (Cook 49, Ballance 37) target 143 I have nothing to say about that.
Suspect Cook's obduracy is about looking further ahead & his desire to feel confident & solid in crease. @DanLucas86
— Tim Pearson (@tmpear) April 25, 2015
Or he's just an obdurate self-parodying performance art installation. @DanLucas86
— Tim Pearson (@tmpear) April 25, 2015
28th over: England 90-1 (Cook 49, Ballance 37) target 143 It’s a double change as Samuels comes into the attack. Ballance sweeps for a single, then Cook cuts so, so late for a nice boundary behind point. One more moves him to 49, then from the final ball Ballance misses out with an attempted smear through extra cover.
Updated
27th over: England 84-1 (Cook 44, Ballance 36) target 143 Back comes Gabriel. He takes approximately the length of the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy to bowl the over and Cook blocks it obdurately. I mean, there’s playing your natural game and there’s putting on a god damn parody of it.
26th over: England 84-1 (Cook 44, Ballance 36) target 143 Ballance takes a single then Cook pulls hard to the man in the deep for one more. This is not entertaining. Bishoo then chucks down another leg-side full-toss and Ballance nails it, hitting his sweep behind square on the leg-side for four.
25th over: England 78-1 (Cook 43, Ballance 31) target 143 Maiden, Cook not tempted by all the medium pace stuff outside his off-stump. Get on with it.
24th over: England 78-1 (Cook 43, Ballance 31) target 143 Bishoo strays down leg and Cook sweeps hard; Gabriel, at short fine-leg can only half stop it and England’s captain moves two closer to twin half-centuries. A pull for one more, then Ballance nudges just wide of short-leg for a single of his very own. One more from the final ball makes five from the over.
Updated
23rd over: England 73-1 (Cook 39, Ballance 30) target 143 OK now I’m seeing other reports that Holder actually has a sprained ankle, which is being treated at the ground. You might be best off ignoring my expert medical quackery. The new bowler is Roach, incidentally. More good fielding by the man at backward point, cutting off another cut and keeping Cook to a single. Ballance too cuts, this time in front of square and gets two for his efforts.
22nd over: England 70-1 (Cook 38, Ballance 28) target 143 I’m seeing unconfirmed reports that there is good news on Jason Holder’s injury: apparently it’s a lateral ligament strain and he should be fit for the third Test. Cook top-edges a slightly watery sweep and is fortunate to watch it loop up and over Gabriel at square-leg. Then Bishoo oversteps yet again. He can’t blame this on his bad finger.
21st over: England 68-1 (Cook 37, Ballance 28) target 143 A couple more to Ballance, steered behind point, then a good stop in that region prevents the batsman’s well-timed cut from reaching the boundary.
@DanLucas86 Honoured to be mentioned on OBO, sad to be rubbished re: The Tourist. My hipster choices: Supercollider & Separator. So pretty.
— Neil WS (@sharmadelica) April 25, 2015
I’m not big on Supercollider, but Separator is absolutely gorgeous.
20th over: England 66-1 (Cook 37, Ballance 26) target 143 Well it looks like Bishoo is fine to carry on. 78 needed from 40 overs and Cook misses out on four of them when he hits a full-toss straight to the fielder at mid-on. Actually it’s a no-ball, so they get one, at least. That’s the second time Bishoo has overstepped in this innings.
Before the break, Bishoo was struggling badly with his finger. If he’s unable to bowl then the West Indies are pretty well cooked what with Holder being off to hospital to have his ankle looked at. The players are coming back out; England won’t go crazy here, but you reckon Cook will want to get this over and done with pretty emphatically.
Mike Shepherd is back. “Re my earlier email. It just goes to show that on a flat slow pitch like this, you can’t beat a good hostile spell of reverse swing jinxing. I’m available for selection in the 3rd test if you’re reading Alastair.”
“I also once belonged to a big ol’ party covers band with insane pretensions,” writes Matt Dony. Our ‘big intros’ ranged from Lover, You Should Have Come Over to 4 part close-harmony pieces. We straddled the fine line between ‘genuinely rocking the joint’ and ‘perversely and intentionally annoying the audience.’ When we went down well, our favourite encore was Paranoid Android. Even at it’s rockingest, it’s not a song that lends itself to dancing. People loved us and hated us in equal measure. I miss those days.”
That’s nothing. I got coaxed* into doing karaoke at a bar in Soho last night with old school friends I hadn’t seen in 10 years. Brought the house down with Bat Out Of Hell (the full nine-minute version) complete with Jarvis Cocker dance moves.
*By beer.
Tea
19th over: England 65-1 (Cook 37, Ballance 26) target 143 Samuels to bowl the final over and it passes like a barge drifting down a river on a lazy summer’s afternoon. Three from it. England will need 78 runs after the break; join me again in 20 minutes.
18th over: England 62-1 (Cook 35, Ballance 25) target 143 Oh, right, five more minutes until tea. After Ballance drives through extra-cover, with timing not quite good enough to bring four but perfectly sufficient for three, Cook misses out on a rank full-toss, sweeping just for one.
17th over: England 58-1 (Cook 34, Ballance 22) target 143 After all the giddy excitement of eight whole runs in that previous over, the batsmen settle for two in this one, sharing them one apiece.
Matt Westlake writes: “Quite understand if you don’t want to generate publicity for a rival publication, but the latest radiohead song to get in my head and refuse to come out again is this one. Still waiting for them to do one called Observer sports monthly.”
This was lovely live. The whole of the MEN Arena was dead silent.
16th over: England 56-1 (Cook 33, Ballance 21) target 143 Nope, we’re still playing. My timekeeping is off. The commentators reckon Bishoo has hurt his finger and he has indeed sent down a few dodgy balls today. Including this rank full-toss, that Ballance swishes to the mid-on boundary; the fielder touching the rope with his boot as he tried to reel it in. Then the cardinal sin, a front-foot no-ball from the spinner. Curtly Ambrose, in the pavilion, looks absolutely furious. And that’s as terrifying an image as there is.
15th over: England 48-1 (Cook 31, Ballance 16) target 143 Is this the last over before tea? My timekeeping says it should be, but then I might be wrong (honest to god I didn’t mean that pun). Ballance is dropped at slip, looking to cut hard and getting a top edge, but a straightforward catch is juggled and, eventually, spilled by the fielder.
Updated
14th over: England 46-1 (Cook 30, Ballance 15) target 143 This is all a bit strange, England are turning this into an absolute cakewalk. Bishoo drops short and on leg-stump, and Cook swivel-pulls hard over the ducking short leg’s head and away for another boundary to take the target down to double figures.
13th over: England 41-1 (Cook 26, Ballance 14) target 143 Ballance, very much the more becalmed of this pair thus far, gets bored and steps down the track to Samuels, lifting him just over mid-of and away to the rope for four. A single to mid-wicket follows and just 102 more are needed.
12th over: England 36-1 (Cook 26, Ballance 9) target 143 Spin from both ends as Bishoo comes on. Ballance nudges a single to square-leg. We’ve got about eight minutes until tea by my reckoning, so I guess there might be two or three overs after this one.
Richard Woods writes, “‘The rest of the over is spent by your OBOer turning the office air blue as he sees what’s just happened in the bloody football.’ Ah a fellow Gashead. Win 7-0 and it counts for nothing. Still, bring on the play-offs. Irene, Goodnight Irene.”
Ah no, it’s Man City for me. But congratulations Barnet, nice to see them back in the Football League.
11th over: England 35-1 (Cook 26, Ballance 8) target 143 Samuels once again. One run from the over. There’s really not a lot else to say.
“That was absolutely horrible,” writes Richard Thomson. Holder was in great pain. I really hope he’s going to be OK quickly. One of my favourite cricketers of today. Such a lovely smile, and so much talent.” Aye, it was unpleasant. All the best to him.
10th over: England 34-1 (Cook 26, Ballance 7) target 143 The West Indies then are a bowler light now, but of greater concern is Holder’s short-term future. He had a lot of ice on that ankle and couldn’t walk off, so I imagine it might be a long lay-off for him, which is sad to see. Four more to Cook as Roach sends down a straight one and the batsman gets the faintest of touches to not only survive the LBW half-shout, but also to tickle it down to long-leg.
“Slightly egocentric in terms of Radiohead covers,” begins Matt Dony, “but I worked on (what I always thought was) a lovely acoustic Everything in its Right Place. Dropped it at a folk club. Met with crashing indifference and blank faces. In truth, one of my better responses.”
The same thing happened to me when I tried to impress friends with an acoustic version of Where I End And You Begin.
9th over: England 30-1 (Cook 22, Ballance 7) target 143 A much better over as Fernandinho puts City back in front. Cook pulls round the corner for a single to move to 22 from 27. Ballance then finally goes on the attack, cracking a short one through the hands of Samuels at mid-on and away for four, but worryingly Holder collapsed in agony after bowling that, with a loud scream of pain. Replays show he badly rolled his left ankle when he landed and I don’t think we’ll see him any more in this match. They’re bringing on a car and stretcher for him.
The final two balls are bowled by Samuels and Ballance sees them off.
Updated
8th over: England 25-1 (Cook 21, Ballance 3) target 143 Four more to Cook as Gabriel loses his line a bit, drifting on to leg and getting turned round the corner. The rest of the over is spent by your OBOer turning the office air blue as he sees what’s just happened in the bloody football.
7th over: England 20-1 (Cook 16, Ballance 3) target 143 Change of bowler as Holder replaces Roach. His first ball is short and that allows Cook a chance to look his best; he takes it, nailing a glorious pull, right out the middle and through mid-wicket for four. More of that would be nice. As would less of this, as he just fishes fleetingly at one that goes past him outside off. A slow yorker is turned square on the leg-side for another single, then Holder sends down that rarity: a Test match wide. The final ball of the over trickles along the floor to the keeper.
6th over: England 14-1 (Cook 11, Ballance 3) target 143 On the telly, Gower is still criticising Cook’s decision not to bowl Anderson after lunch. I’m not a big fan of Cook, but it does feel harsh to criticise him for giving a go to the man who wrapped up the innings with two wickets in an over. Gabriel bends his back in sending down a short ball, out of the way of which Ballance sways, but that hardly reached rib height.
@DanLucas86 what about their cover of Carly Simon? https://t.co/Sk1W6L0ulc
— Jon-Jack Baldwin (@JonnyJonJack) April 25, 2015
5th over: England 14-1 (Cook 11, Ballance 3) target 143 First boundary of the innings as Roach offers up a juicy wide half-volley to Cook. The England captain leans into it and times the ball nicely through cover.
@DanLucas86 Is now a bad time to recall England's attempt to chase 145 in Abu Dhabi a few years back? http://t.co/2dCJtqO8xu
— R. Marr (@RolloTreadway) April 25, 2015
This isn’t really a comparable situation. The West Indies don’t have any bowler anywhere near as good as Saeed Ajmal, these aren’t such unfamiliar conditions and England are much more comfortable facing this kind of bowling.
4th over: England 10-1 (Cook 7, Ballance 3) target 143 I’ve just realised, this is effectively an ODI innings consisting solely of boring middle overs. After a Cook single, Ballance clips one from shin-height off his pads for two to square-leg.
Joe Healey asks: “Re the Ramdin LBW review: Can someone please explain the Hawkwye algorithm that calculates how much it would have turned when it pitched?”
It doesn’t. If the ball doesn’t pitch it’s assumed to be heading straight on, I believe, and that’s what it showed. I know that’s obviously not a great science, especially if it was being used for someone like Shane Warne, but I doubt the Sky Sports rev counter (RIP) is sophisticated enough to calculate the degree of turn and then combine that with Hawkeye, so it seems like the only real option.
3rd over: England 7-1 (Cook 6, Ballance 1) target 143 An iffy cut, one played without the requisite room, really, brings Cook two. He got away with it, but that was just how he got out first time around. Surely it’s Adam Lyth’s time in the third Test? A successful career middle-order batsman, the wrong side of 30 being recalled surely isn’t England’s idea of future planning?
2nd over: England 4-1 (Cook 3, Ballance 1) target 143 Trott survives a close-ish LBW shout, as described below, from the first ball, but then becomes the fifth player in this match to play on to his stumps. Ballance gets off the mark with a push to mid-off for a quick single, before Cook pushes one square on the off-side for one.
@DanLucas86 if we're talking covers - don't forget about Radiohead playing the Smiths https://t.co/dGUXKUti29. Love this cover.
— Tom H Bunn (@tomhebunn) April 25, 2015
Fun fact: my girlfriend went to the same school that Moz wrote that song about. Not at the same time, obviously. Also I prefer the cover of Ceremony from the same webcast.
Updated
Wicket! Trott b Gabriel 0
This is poor from Trott. He hangs his bat out at 45 degrees, risky at the best of times, let alone on a pitch with untrustworthy bounce like this one. Off the inside edge and bye bye goes off-stump.
Updated
Not out!
Good call from the umpire as it was whizzing about six inches over middle and leg.
Review! Trott lbw b Gabriel 0
Gabriel hits Trott on the pad with a dead straight one, just above the knee-roll. Not given, as he was a long way forward, but Ramdin reviews.
1st over: England 2-0 (Cook 2, Trott 0) target 143 No alarms and no surprises (see what I did there) as Cook and Trott open. No need to mess with the order as England should just cruise home from here, playing their natural game. Roach beats the captains push with one from round the wicket that straightens a touch. A clip to mid-wicket brings Cook a couple of runs.
We’ve got a delay to the chase, as the roller took some time to start up.
@DanLucas86 Morning Bell is underrated. Saw RH play it at Leeds fest, great live but impossible to clap to after a few pints of warm Tuborg
— Jeremy Dobson (@Jeremy_Dobson) April 25, 2015
I think I’m alone in preferring the Amnesiac version.
One last quick reminder that you can see Alex Horne and the Horne Section, Andy Zaltzman, Dean Headley, Emma John and more at The Cricket Pitch on Monday if you exchange twenty quid for a ticket. That’s something you can do right here.
Innings break emails dept.:
“Hats off, Dan,” writes Alex Bramble, “you said Ramdin looked like an LBW candidate. I’m sure missing a a lobbed full toss from Moeen was precisely what you had in mind.”
Exactly, yes. Someone start a DLgenius Twitter account. It might look a lot like my own anyway.
“Sorry to come late to the party,” begins Peter Salmon, introducing a fine course in humblebragging. “Was out enjoying a BLT in one of Oxfordshire’s finest pubs. I once hosted a writing course with the wife of a member of Radiohead, and ended up getting a lift from Shropshire to Oxford in their touring car. The thought that I was sitting in the very seat where Thom Yorke sat warms me to this day.That said, the best Radiohead song is not performed by Radiohead. I believe its this cover version of Karma Police by the Tel Aviv singer Shefita. Love the pronunciation of ‘D’tuned Raaaa-dio’.”
Wicket! West Indies 307 all out
Yeah it’s out. The post-lunch session looked like it was going to be a bit of a slog, but Alastair Cook’s decision to persist with Moeen Ali pays off and it’s all good. England will have 59 overs to score 143. If they can’t manage that then they might as well give up.
Updated
Review! Gabriel LBW b Ali 0
Well he has to review it as there’s one left. Gabriel goes deep in his crease and gets hit on the back pad. Up goes the finger...
Updated
Wicket! It's out
Yeah that was never going to be overturned. There was no bat on it and it was clattering into middle, halfway up. If you were to draw a diagram of LBW, it’d look like that.
Review! Ramdin LBW b Ali 28
Full and straight from Ali and it hits Ramdin on the toe as he plays around it. It’s given, Ramdin reviews, but this is surely plumb?
111th over: West Indies 307-8 (Bishoo 15, Ramdin 28) Bishoo on strike, Broad bowling. Ahh and the former’s edge nutmegs Alastair Cook at slip and goes through low for four, to bring up the 300. It wasn’t a chance though, the ball bobbling through to him along the ground. Bishoo pushes an excellent drive off the back foot and through extra cover for four.
“I’m sick of the respect being shown to Ramdin here,” writes Krishnan Patel. “We aren’t even trying to get him out. Broads not-full not-short length at him is getting highly wasteful. And should England get the two wickets with 50 overs to spare, is promoting Ali to open an option?”
It’s one option, but I’m not sure it’s a worthwhile one. Ali’s weak against the shorter, quicker deliveries, of which Gabriel is eminently capable.
110th over: West Indies 299-8 (Bishoo 7, Ramdin 28) Ali continues and this pitch once again looks like a road. I mean, one of those dirt roads that you get around where my parents live down in south Devon, but a road nonetheless. A single apiece from the over.
109th over: West Indies 297-8 (Bishoo 6, Ramdin 27) In the absence of anything worth reporting on in this Broad over, half a consideration of a review for a leg-side strangle aside (not even close to the bat), I’ll hand this entry over to Mike Shepherd:
“Am I alone in thinking the 3/1 available on the draw is good value? An hour or so of batting from the Windies tail and 50 more runs is more than possible if Broad continues his transformation into a quickish off-spinner. Then a tricky to gauge lowish target, the most out of form openers in cricket, a leggie on a fifth day pitch. In fact sod it, Windies are going to win. Aussies don’t think like this do they?”
108th over: West Indies 296-8 (Bishoo 6, Ramdin 26) Nope, Ali once again. Jimmy did have a long spell earlier, but he had a decent break before lunch. Also both Sky and Cricinfo appear to have deducted a run from Ramdin somewhere, presumably reallocating it to extras. I’ll do the same. Bishoo has a swish at a short, leg-side delivery and it goes away for a couple of byes.
@DanLucas86 You got it right first time with The Tourist. A sublime ending to a perfect album. I also like being told: "Hey man, slow down."
— Neil WS (@sharmadelica) April 25, 2015
Nope, I reckon that’s one of the weaker ones on OK Computer.
107th over: West Indies 294-8 (Bishoo 6, Ramdin 26) Surprising no one, Broad begins with a bouncer to Bishoo. The guy’s not a complete mug, Stuart, he helped his side put on 52 for the 10th wicket earlier in this match. Two chances in one ball as Bishoo fends off a bumper just that brushes the fingertips the man at short-leg. They set off for a risky single and Anderson looks to throw down the stumps at the non-striker’s end, but with Bishoo stranded short he misses and it goes away for four overthrows. Stokes makes a good diving stop at backward point off the final ball to prevent Ramdin getting the single. Surely Anderson will come on now to have a go at Bishoo?
106th over: West Indies 289-8 (Bishoo 1, Ramdin 27) Surprisingly, there’s no return just yet for Anderson. Ali to carry on the spell he began before lunch – does that count as the same spell? – and he gets one to drift nicely past Bishoo’s outside edge. The number 10 cuts the final ball for a single to retain the strike.
“Hi Dan.” Hi, Chris Bourne. “Here’s the thing. England get the West Indies out in half a session, and have a session and a half to make 170 runs or so. Do you open with Cook and Trott and watch them grind out an immaculate draw?”
I would, yeah. They’re not such terrible players that they can’t attack, as we saw in The Oval Ashes Test in 2013. Plus – at the risk of opening up a tedious debate, no emails on which will get published so don’t bother – it’s not like there’s a Kevin Pietersen-type player in the XI they can promote up the order.
105th over: West Indies 288-8 (Bishoo 0, Ramdin 27) We are back and Stuart Broad has the ball in his hands. He’s bowling in the mid-70s here (as in his speed; he hasn’t invented time travel), but is still finding a little bit of movement off the pitch. Ramdin cuts inelegantly for two to take the lead to 123.
“There can be no debate,” asserts Robert Wilson. “It’s not the whole band but guitarist/songwriter Ed O’Brien plus ‘My cat’s a wanker’ has got to be a contender. There’s no limit to the truth and beauty of a title like that.”
That’s amazing. I’m a Radiohead nerd and didn’t know this existed. It’s a lovely piece.
Just a quick reminder, that you can get your tickets to The Cricket Pitch, with Emma John, Andy Zaltzman, Alex Horne and The Horne Section by clicking right here.
When I was a student in Lancaster, Alex Horne was playing a show in the city. There were posters everywhere, each and every one of which was defaced, in an obvious manner, by my friend Alex Horner.
Also, no love for this one?
Well that was pretty much perfect for England, wasn’t it? James Anderson can do no wrong and the West Indies aren’t giving the impression that they’re a team who can hold on for long after lunch.
Of course having said that, I’ve now ensured that they’ll hold out for a session and that I’m going to be OBOing until long into the night. With that in mind, I’m off to get a bit to eat. Back in 35mins or so.
Lunch
104th over: West Indies 286-8 (Bishoo 0, Ramdin 25) Ali with the final over before lunch. Ramdin hammers a drive to cover, but declines to run, then bottom edges into Buttler’s glove, but it’s far too hard for the keeper to have any chance. The fifth ball is a leg-bye, which means that Bishoo will have to survive one ball. He does that.
Updated
103rd over: West Indies 285-8 (Bishoo 0, Ramdin 24) Four minutes until lunch, so probably one more over after this. Ali found a decent amount of turn in the last over, so Cook turns to his other spinner, Root. Ramdin uses his feet well and drills through cover for two. He’s round the wicket here, so LBW isn’t really an option for England. Strange, I guess, against a batsman who tends to look to play into the on-side.
102nd over: West Indies 282-8 (Bishoo 0, Ramdin 21) Might it be worth letting Jimmy have a quick crack at Roach before lunch? Instead it’s Ali again and, after five dots, the pressure gets to Roach and he holes out. This match is England’s to balls up now.
Wicket! Roach c Anderson b Ali 10
Roach looks to go for the big, T20-style slog over mid-on, doesn’t get hold of it and Anderson jogs to his right and holds on to a simple catch. Of course it’s Anderson.
101st over: West Indies 282-7 (Roach 10, Ramdin 21) There’s very little for the batsmen to worry about when Jordan is bowling. Ramdin guides a gentle cut down to the boundary at backward point; Stokes comes around to try and cut it off, but signals to the umpire that he failed to do so and it’s four. Similar thing three balls later but Stokes gets to this one. Just the two this time.
100th over: West Indies 276-7 (Roach 10, Ramdin 15) Time for spin. Moeen Ali comes on and his first ball is overpitched; Ramdin looks to smash it straight back whence it came, but thumps it into his batting partner at the non-striker’s end.
James Sparling, in Chicago, has a left-field suggestion for the Radiohead thread: “Atonement by the Roots, simply wonderful use of You and Whose Army.”
I do like this. There aren’t many better groups about than The Roots.
99th over: West Indies 276-7 (Roach 10, Ramdin 15) Ramdin looks like an LBW candidate to me as he steps across and plays across the line, knocking it into the off-side for one. Roach then glances the ball wide of the man at short-leg – that looks like a fairly obvious trap. Last ball of the over and Roach does the exact same thing and goes past his career average.
98th over: West Indies 272-7 (Roach 8, Ramdin 13) Broad drops short and wide to Roach and there’s not enough pace on it. The batsman cuts it away, deliberately up in the air and over point for four. He follows this up with a neat straight drive, but not that well timed and they only get two. I was actually pretty harsh on Roach’s technique earlier, there are far, far worse about.
97th over: West Indies 266-7 (Roach 2, Ramdin 13) Ramdin gets another life, hurried up by a quicker one from Jordan and chopping it down just past his off-stump. Nothing else even remotely interesting happens in the rest of the over. Elsewhere, all is right with the universe again, as Newcastle are losing at home. I don’t know why I’m telling you this, I’m not even a Newcastle fan.
96th over: West Indies 266-7 (Roach 2, Ramdin 13) Anderson gets a rest and Broad returns. Roach aims to smear a half-volley through the covers but connects with nothing but air. The next ball is a lovely one that again goes past the outside edge as Roach plays down the wrong line. A slightly fortuitous two runs follow, off the inside edge. They take the lead up into three figures, too.
95th over: West Indies 264-7 (Roach 0, Ramdin 13) “This is where they put on 130 for the eighth wicket,” says my optimistic colleague Simon Burnton. I’m not convinced as the new man, Kemar Roach, has a Test average of 9.21 and a batting technique to bely it. Ramdin pulls a short ball square for a well-struck four and in doing so moves into double figures. It really was a great throw by Anderson, by the way. They didn’t even check the run-out with the third umpire, so far short was he.
Wicket! Holder run out (Anderson) 2
Oh this is magnificent. Holder drives uppishly just inches past the man diving at extra-cover. Relieved to see the ball whistle safely away from the catcher, he sets off for a single, only for the backing up Anderson to superbly throw down the stumps with a direct hit. What a game this man is having!
Updated
94th over: West Indies 260-6 (Holder 2, Ramdin 9) This isn’t comfortable for the Windies, even with the ball not deviating that much. Ramdin screws a drive off Anderson to point and will have had a momentary heart-in-mouth moment as it went in the air towards point.
93rd over: West Indies 257-6 (Holder 0, Ramdin 8) Ramdin rocks on to the back foot and pushes neatly out to point for a couple. He knocks a single to mid-off, before Blackwood throws his wicket away. You can’t keep Anderson out of this match. Another Antigua centurion, this time Jason Holder, comes out. If you could reel off another one, Jason, your team would greatly appreciate it. The lead is just 97.
Wicket! Blackwood c Anderson b Jordan 10
This is poor. It’s a good length ball and the Antigua centurion slaps an ugly drive straight to mid-off, where Jimmy jumps and catches it above his head.
Updated
92nd over: West Indies 254-5 (Blackwood 10, Ramdin 5) It’s nearly a Michelle for Anderson as he gets one just back of a length to rise sharply at Ramdin. The West Indies captain misreads it and plays forward, the ball takes the shoulder of the bat and loops agonisingly up and over Joe Root at wide third slip. They run through for one, to celebrate the reprieve. And to add a run to their total, which is kinda the point of the game. Blackwood fends into the off-side and it doesn’t quite carry to Broad at point. The final ball is driven straight back down the ground and, eventually makes its way across the boundary rope.
“Potentially slight left-field, but I’m a massive fan of You and Whose Army. I saw them twice during their In Rainbows tour with the fragment split screen, and they used Thom’s ethereal lazy eye to magnificent effect.”
It’s a great song, I saw them do it on the King of Limbs tour. The moment where the piano kicks in is glorious, but they’ve never quite nailed it live, I don’t think. I do enjoy playing it on my guitar mind.
91st over: West Indies 249-5 (Blackwood 6, Ramdin 4) We have a change of bowling and Chris Jordan comes into the attack. Nothing to note really from the over, other than that it’s low-to-mid-80s in terms of speed, there’s no movement and it’s not particularly threatening. But you knew that, didn’t you? Maiden.
Incidentally Newcastle United are no longer winning. Speaking of the football scores, here’s John Starbuck: “Dan, Presumably the Grenadans do the pools, too, or whatever applies locally. There’s nothing odd about that. Even Napoleon went in for it and was known to swear, especially when West Brom won away. Ah, perfidious Albion! (Note: this joke comes form a mid-nineteen sixties ISIRTA).”
There was a joke in there?
90th over: West Indies 249-5 (Blackwood 6, Ramdin 4) Another one, perchance, Jimmy? His fourth ball is the worst of his spell so far, drifting a long way down leg and helped along its way to the boundary by a flick of Blackwood’s bat. Drinks, sponsored by absolutely no one.
89th over: West Indies 244-5 (Blackwood 1, Ramdin 4) Does anyone out there have any thoughts on the Samuels salute? If you do, please don’t send them to me – I couldn’t give the tiniest solitary one about it and don’t really see why anyone would. Anyhow, there’s a mix-up mid-pitch and Ramdin is in trouble... or he would be if the throw from long-off wasn’t miles away from the keeper. Ramdin knocks a couple more out to square-leg.
On another note, our very own Emma John is putting on The Cricket Pitch on Monday night. Emma’s lovely, but in case that’s not enough to sell it to you then it’s also got Alex Horne and the Horne Section, Andy Zaltzman, Dean Headley and more. Tickets are available here.
88th over: West Indies 239-5 (Blackwood 0, Ramdin 0) Keeper and slips think about going up for an appeal before remembering that the ball must hit some part of the bat to be given out and it didn’t come anywhere near doing that. It does four balls later though! Stokes gives Samuels a look and no more as the batsman departs, leaving his team in a bit of a hole at, effectively 74-5 with two new batsmen at the crease. Another wicket maiden for Anderson, who has been magnificent this morning.
@DanLucas86 definitely wasting the new ball
— AndyinBrum (@AndyinBrum) April 25, 2015
Wicket! Samuels c Buttler b Anderson 37
Another absolute peach from Jimmy – an outswinger, good length and on off. Samuels, looking to withdraw his bat, can’t do so in time and it just flicks the edge on its way through.
Updated
87th over: West Indies 239-4 (Blackwood 0, Samuels 37) StuBo, with his nickname that doesn’t make any sense, is continuing with the short stuff to Samuels and there is a bit of variable bounce; some of the fuller ones are barely carrying through to Buttler. Samuels looks to flick one through mid-wicket and Anderson dives to his right to make a good stop, that may have just saved three runs.
@DanLucas86 Not sure it's their best, but always felt Pyramid Song is a little underrated.
— Dicky Law (@DickLaw1) April 25, 2015
86th over: West Indies 238-4 (Blackwood 0, Samuels 36) I’m not sure why, but it feels rather quaint as the ground PA reads out today’s Premier League scores – holy crap Newcastle are winning! Jimmy finds a bit of swing through the air to remove the out-of-nick Chanderpaul, although it owed a lot to Cook who did brilliantly at slip. 2-3 in this spell for Anderson.
Wicket! Chanderpaul c Cook b Anderson 7
Ooh this is good work from the captain. Chanderpaul pushes at one angled across him and nicks to Bell. It should be a comfortable catch for the Sledgehammer, but he parries to Cook. Alastair reacts sharply to a chance he reasonably didn’t expect to come his way, and takes it one-handed at the second attempt.
Updated
85th over: West Indies 238-3 (Chanderpaul 7, Samuels 36) A pretty rank, very wide long-hop from Broad and on this pitch I reckon I’d have had a chance of putting that one away. As such, Samuels has no trouble in doing so, over point and away for four. Three balls later he’s too straight and Samuels works it off the pad round to to fine leg for one. It’s clouding over a bit now, so Alastair Cook will presumably be jumping for joy. You know, inside. After a single to Chanderpaul, Broad overpitches and Samuels unfurls the cover drive, but doesn’t quite time it and he only gets two.
84th over: West Indies 230-3 (Chanderpaul 6, Samuels 29) On Sky, Nass points out that Brathwaite’s tendency to get front on to the ball makes it difficult to duck and sway, hence his difficulties with the new ball. He really is one of the best commentators about, is Nasser. Maiden from Anderson, all quiet on the West Indian front.
@DanLucas86 Hopefully this Morning Bell can chip in with some close catches.
— Gareth Owen (@gwowen) April 25, 2015
83rd over: West Indies 230-3 (Chanderpaul 6, Samuels 29) Broad looks to surprise Chanderpaul with a bouncer. Chanderpaul finds it about as surprising as the twist at the end of Shutter Island and pulls it effortlessly for four behind square on the leg-side, then pushes a fuller one back down the ground for a single. A lovely fourth ball of the over nips back quite a way, again off the pitch, and passes about eight inches wide of off-stump as Samuels leaves.
Right, let’s do this.
@aubreywriting @DanLucas86 top punnery. I feel cook may Sulk if England aren't Lucky enough to win this test. Exit Music or High & Dry?
— Tom H Bunn (@tomhebunn) April 25, 2015
@DanLucas86 You'd have to be quite an Optimist to see a positive result for England here. Knives Out for Peter Moores, more likely.
— Dicky Law (@DickLaw1) April 25, 2015
@tomhebunn @DanLucas86 Little by Little I'm sure they'll turn their Feral form around & will Give Up the Ghost of their recent poor form
— Elizabeth Aubrey (@aubreywriting) April 25, 2015
@aubreywriting @DanLucas86 Just a few wickets would help England Creep towards a win. Could be Optimistic
— Tom H Bunn (@tomhebunn) April 25, 2015
82nd over: West Indies 225-3 (Chanderpaul 1, Samuels 29) About wasting that new ball... Anderson strikes with his first delivery with it, bringing Chanderpaul to the crease. Is Shiv a bit low at five? Or are waning powers being hidden down there? Anderson beats him with another lovely delivery that nips away and Atherton wonders if England might want another slip in place. Chanderpaul tucks a straight ball off his hips to fine-leg for one.
“On TMS, Tony Cozier (who should know) is pronouncing yer man’s name ‘Brathid’,” reports Colum Farrelly. Cheers, although I can get away with it as I only have to write it. And in fact don’t need to that much any more.
Updated
Wicket! Brathwaite c Root b Anderson 116
There’s the breakthrough! It’s an absolutely fantastic bouncer from Anderson, short and rising sharply towards the batsman’s head. Brathwaite gets in all sorts of trouble looking to fend it off and the ball loops up off the bat to give slip the easiest of catches.
81st over: West Indies 224-2 (Brathwaite 116, Samuels 29) The new ball is being taken straight away and, as you might expect if you’ve watched cricket lately, Stuart Broad has it. We’ve got an appeal from the very first ball as it nips back in a touch off the pitch and clips the front pad on its way to thumping into the back one. Missing leg comfortably, I’d say, and Brathwaite celebrates by thrashing a wild drive at a wide half-volley and getting a thick edge over Root at slip and away for four to third man. A sharp rising one has the centurion in a bit of bother as he bottom edges unconvincingly down into the ground, then he turns another lifter just wide of the man at short-leg. Having spent the last few weeks covering the IPL, it’s nice to see a short-leg. A lovely ball to beat Samuels’ outside edge to finish.
@DanLucas86 so how will England waste the new ball? I'm going for short slow wide filth, like the last 6 new balls
— AndyinBrum (@AndyinBrum) April 25, 2015
That was actually a very decent over from Broad.
80th over: West Indies 219-2 (Brathwaite 111, Samuels 29) This is a bit of a surprise: Cook throws the ball to Anderson an over before the new ball is due. Broad is loosening up too. Samuels punches to point off the back foot to move to 29. Not sure there’s really much point in using this over up for Jimmy to warm up. Brathwaite nudges slightly awkwardly to fine-leg for another single.
You guys are on fire with the tweets today:
@DanLucas86 there will be No Surprises if England lose again. They might Just do it, if they're Lucky. But I Might be Wrong.
— Elizabeth Aubrey (@aubreywriting) April 25, 2015
@DanLucas86 @tomhebunn surely Karma Police given the less than complimentary comments around the Windies prior to this test.
— Pete (@PeteBellew) April 25, 2015
79th over: West Indies 217-2 (Brathwaite 110, Samuels 28) David Gower opens up a discussion on the correct pronunciation of Brathwaite’s name as the man in question knocks a length ball to mid-on for one. Brath-itt, Brath-witt and Brath-weight are my rough approximations of the options, with the latter settled on by Athers. Samuels nudges for a sharp single to short cover, then Stokes whirls and needlessly hurls at the stumps, wide of them and the ball whistles away for four overthrows.
“How Do You, obviously,” writes John Lowe. He’d better be joking.
78th over: West Indies 211-2 (Brathwaite 109, Samuels 23) Root again, as several people point out that, in asking for a favourite Radiohead song, I’ve essentially set an impossible task. Root is bowling from very wide round the wicket to Samuels, and just gives him a bit of a hurry-up with his second one. Samuels chips another into the air on the leg-side, but well wide of the short-leg and leg-slip.
77th over: West Indies 211-2 (Brathwaite 109, Samuels 23) Chris Jordan is going to have a bowl from the other end. I’m a little surprised England aren’t going with spin and giving Jordan a rest for when he has to replace the ineffective Broad eight overs into the new ball. He strays on to Samuels’ pads and gets turned away for a single to long leg. From the final ball of the over something similar, only this time there’s enough pace on it that Ali can’t get round from fine leg in time to prevent the boundary.
Radiohead and puns? I like you, Tom H Bunn.
@DanLucas86 always a fan of "there, there" on the Radiohead front
— Tom H Bunn (@tomhebunn) April 25, 2015
@DanLucas86 trying to think of a Radiohead song that best fits this test...it's more go to sleep than everything in its right place so far
— Tom H Bunn (@tomhebunn) April 25, 2015
Big fan of There There, actually.
76th over: West Indies 206-2 (Brathwaite 105, Samuels 22) Joe Root it is, with the first of the 98 overs to be bowled today. His first ball is a touch short and Brathwaite pulls easily around the corner for four to fine-leg. The new ball is due in five overs and England are surrounding the batsman – “catch it Gaz!” is the cry as Brathwaite defends one back down the ground. Surely it’s too soon to be that desperate?
We’re about ready to go. The players are out and there’s a wee bit of cloud about. Looks like England will begin with Root though.
I feel this is going to be a good riff. Albeit perhaps a depressing playlist.
@DanLucas86 clearly Pop is Dead. You part timers...
— Antipathti (@antipathti) April 25, 2015
Oh you joker. I’m not putting that video up.
@DanLucas86 Karma Police is clearly the best Radiohead song ever. Glasto 1997 says so.
— Elizabeth Aubrey (@aubreywriting) April 25, 2015
That is a cracker of a performance. Quite jealous you were there.
Afternoon, Gary Na-
@DanLucas86 In 2013, I saw a operatic tenor playing the part of Cinderella's Teddy Bear deliver an electrifying "Creep". Settles it I feel.
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) April 25, 2015
Creep?! Oh come on, everyone knows not to pick Creep. It’s not even the best on Pablo Honey.
The pitch, it seems, is as flat as Win Butler live.
England’s batsmen have just had a net, now Nasser Hussain tries to accost Alastair Cook for a word. “Tan’s coming along well, Nass” says Cook as he continues to walk briskly past the poor Sky man.
Speaking of Cook, can the person behind the Cool Ed Miliband Twitter account do one for him? I’d like to see if anyone can tell the difference.
Preamble
Afternoon folks. Or morning, if you’re one of those lucky folk in the Caribbean. My editors might disagree, but the latter lot of you probably shouldn’t be wasting your time reading this. For the rest of you, what better way to pass the time in dreary old England than day five of a Test that could, theoretically, still go any one of three ways.
Given the respective states of the pitch, the match and the West Indian team in general, don’t expect much in the way of fast, flowing runs any time soon today. For the hosts, the task is simply to bat, then bat a bit, bat some more, do a bit of batting and then continue to bat until the game is pretty well safe. Then perhaps, some time shortly before tea, they might have a bit of a crack and decide to give England something to chase, if we’re lucky.
We’re probably not going to be lucky. Unless, that is, England’s identikit-plus-Jimmy-and-Moeen attack finds its mojo sharpish and can whittle out the remaining eight wickets for another 120 or so.
For one day only I’ve been allowed to ignore the IPL in favour of some lovely, slow Test cricket. This better be good.
Actually that reminds me, settle an argument I had with a friend the other day: what’s Radiohead’s best song? He went with Let Down, I picked Reckoner.
