Get all your news in one place.
100’s of premium titles.
One app.
Start reading
The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Sport
Daniel Harris (earlier) and Tanya Aldred (later)

West Indies v England: first Test, day two – as it happened

West Indies’ Jason Holder (right) and Nkrumah Bonner (left) share a joke with England’s Jack Leach as they walk off at the close of play.
West Indies’ Jason Holder (right) and Nkrumah Bonner (left) share a joke with England’s Jack Leach as they walk off at the close of play. Photograph: Randy Brooks/AFP/Getty Images

Mark Wood speaks!

Read Ali Martin's report from day two in Antigua

Like two dogs wrestling over a newspaper, this day veered this way and that. First West Indies hoovered up England’s tail, then England’s first dart at opening the bowling without Broad n Anderson proved fluffy. West Indies made things interesting with some terrible shots and found themselves in trouble at 127-4, until Holder and Bonner dug in magnificently, as Wood and Stokes. in particular, probed and poked. Leach bowled well on an unforgiving surface.

Things are bubbling.

That’s all from me, we’ll be back tomorrow for the 2pm GMT start. Thanks for all the messages - an education as always. Time to reheat dinner - good night!

Stumps- West Indies 202-4 trail England by 109 runs

66.5 overs: West Indies 202-4 ( Bonner 34, Holder 43) There’s something magnificent about the light here... and that must be why - the rain starts to fall again and the players leave the pitch one last time, with just a ball left in Leach’s over.

Updated

66th over: West Indies 202-4 ( Bonner 34, Holder 43) The sun is dipping, and is shining in Woakes’ bonny eyes. He doesn’t give Bonner much to play with, honing in on the prize. A maiden.

“Tally ho, Tanya.” And to you George Brown.
“I’m amazed that no one has yet mentioned the remarkable Slovenian climber Janja Garnbret.
Since 2015 she has only missed the podium in 4 lead climbing world cup events, and in 2019 she won the bouldering, lead climbing and combined world titles, while also claiming Gold in every round of the bouldering.
Like many of the other names mentioned so far, she even has a move or technique named after her, an example of which can be seen from 6:41 in this video.

Pip pip!”

65th over: West Indies 202-4 ( Bonner 34, Holder 43) Ah, so Leach comes on at the other end, clever Mr Bond, and immediately loses his maiden streak. A single here, a two there.

64th over: West Indies 199-4 ( Bonner 31, Holder 43) Root tires of Leach and his run-sapping maidens and swaps in Woakes. A run comes off the very first ball, and another couple off the fifth. The sixth is defended stoutly in Holder’s idiosyncratic squared-up way. I have no idea when this day is going to close by the way. Soon? The rain breaks have confused things.

63rd over: West Indies 196-4 ( Bonner 30, Holder 41) Holder is on the back foot, off and away Overton is sent, lolling over the rope. Another four follows, edged, but downwards, and past slip’s reach. Holder starting to taste the sweetness of his doggedness.

General view of play during day two of the first test match between West Indies and England,
A smattering of dark clouds and a blue sky above the Sir Vivian Richards Stadium. Photograph: Gareth Copley/Getty Images

Updated

62nd over: West Indies 188-4 ( Bonner 30, Holder 33) Is Leach going to lose his streak of maidens? Bonner contemplates a quick single, but is restrained. Another run-less over from the Sir Curtly Ambrose end.

61st over: West Indies 188-4 ( Bonner 30, Holder 33) That’s enough of that, says Root, and replaces himself with Craig Overton. Overton sees how a short one flies: Bonner dispatches with a pull for four. A couple of runs fly between the slips

“Afternoon Tanya,” hello John Little, and apologies that this is only emerging at nighttime.

“Dan didn’t seem to like my suggestion of Lance Armstrong changing all sport in the was Nixon changed all politics, so i am giving it a try with you. And the main event, the Warne story...


“An Australia/ W Indies Odi in St Lucia in the 90s/00s is rained off. The weather clears up in the afternoon and a scratch game of tennis-ball-beach-cricket is initiated between W Indies and Aus who are all staying in the Sandals Resort. My old man is roped in and while fielding in the sea for W Indies catches Warne out. Sometime later my father, now representing Australia, is keeping wicket when Warne comes on to bowl. 1st ball, ( tennis ball on sand) turns 90°left sending the old man scurrying 10 metres to retrieve it. 2nd ball, turns 90° right sending the old man scurrying 10 metres to retrieve it. Left, right, left, right. 90° each time, chase each time. Over finishes, my old man exhausted, breathless, sweating looks at Warne, who simply nods and walks off to field. Class.”

60th over: West Indies 181-4 ( Bonner 23, Holder 33) An eighth maiden for Leach, as the shadows stretch towards sundown.

59th over: West Indies 181-4 ( Bonner 23, Holder 33) Root keeps himself on, hoping West Indies will get greedy, and Holder does, frying panning him over long off for a huge six to bring up the fifty stand.

Updated

58th over: West Indies 174-4 ( Bonner 23, Holder 26) Leach, nibbling and wheeling, He looks relaxed.

57th over: West Indies 174-4 ( Bonner 23, Holder 26) Strange - Craig Overton had looked as if he was about to bowl before the leaf blower incident, but after it Joe Root grabs the ball. He’s grown his hair again and it is held back by an Alice band. Holder kneels and tucks into a pie with an extravagant drive for four.

There seem to be some pitch issues as Jason Holder and Jonny Bairstow eye up the wicket and, mildly, each other. Anyway, they call for a man with a leaf-blower who does the opposite of the hoovering.

56 overs: West Indies 167-4 ( Bonner 17, Holder 21) Leach completes a maiden.

Susanna Tayler pings one in:

“Mark Bosman has been mentioned, so maybe Maros Kolpak? Not as a handball player, obviously”

And this is for you Smylers - are you there???

“Also Smylers asked about highlights - there’s a 15 minute highlights package of day 1 from West Indies Cricket on YouTube.”

Play will restart in ten minutes. which causes great irritation from the children as it coincides with half time in Real Madrid v PSG.

Time for a couple more of your emails before we restart:

“Hi Tanya, hi everyone.” Good evening Em Jackson!

“England looking solid, if not spectacular here - but I’ll take it from 50-odd for 4 yesterday. In the “Sports-persons debate” - in cricket, Basil D’Olivera for me, mostly I admit outside the game, thinking of sports boycotting vs Apartheid South Africa.

“Outside cricket, Marc Bosman surely? Freedom of movement for players without recompense - revolutionary (and more so I’d wager than abolition of the maximum wage via Jimmy Hill).”

and to return full circle, Patrick Treacy on Shane Warne.

“I think where some of the comparisons to figures in other sports fall short for me is that I find it hard to imagine cricket without Shane Warne. For someone of my age (I’m 42) he was embedded in the identity of the whole sport. It was a mixture of him having a supreme sporting aura due to his unusual skill, being a star player in an all-conquering team, an ability to psychologically dominate a whole opposition team and also being a frequent and charismatic media presence.”

The royal blue tarpaulin is pulled away, like a luxurious evening dress. Puddles are visible on the grass.

The rain falls again

55.4 overs: West Indies 167-4 ( Bonner 17, Holder 21) Four dot balls in Leach’s stalled over as the weather interrupts for a fourth time today.

55th over: West Indies 167-4 ( Bonner 17, Holder 21) Overton fires them long and straight bar a short one which ruffles Bonner’s outer shoulder and inner calm.

I now can’t remember which of these game changers I’ve printed and which I haven’t. With apologies for any repetition - over to you Rob Marriott.

“Forgive me if she’s already been mentioned and I’ve missed it, but surely no chat about sporting gamechangers is complete without Suzanne Lenglen. It’s not just that she was extraordinarily successful – winning no fewer than 250 titles in her career, and a ludicrous 98% of all the matches she ever played.

“It’s also how she went about it; that, at a time when female tennis players were expected to be demure and modest, Lenglen was aggressive, wore clothes suited to playing, served and volleyed as powerfully as any man of the time, and drank and partied and generally enjoyed herself (legend has it that she persuaded the US Lawn Tennis Association to provide her with booze in the midst of Prohibition). And, when the strictures of the amateur game constrained her too much, she became the first tennis star to turn professional.

“It’s impossible to imagine how tennis (and women’s sport) might have developed without Lenglen. If any athlete has ever warranted being called a force of nature, she did.”

54th over: West Indies 163-4 ( Bonner 17, Holder 21) Stick with me through this, as Leach tweaks away and Holder pushes forward. And repeat.

A morsel from Ali, suffering terribly out in Antigua.

“If readers stuck with my day one match report beyond the first couple of paragraphs then they’d have seen a mention of David Rudder and his 1987 hit Rally ‘Round the West Indies. Cards on the table, I’ve been a massive fan ever since I was lucky enough to see the great Trinidadian perform live in Grenada three years ago. As a starting point for anyone who wants to hear more I’d recommend the Gilded Collection Volume One. I know, I know, it’s a bit like recommending the Best of the Beatles but it is packed with absolute bangers (a few of which have been played during the intervals). That night in Grenada I was also lucky enough to meet him before the show and then abused my position two years ago with an interview to discuss the origins of Rally.”

Here it be:

53rd over: West Indies 162-4 ( Bonner 17, Holder 20) It’s giant agains giant as Overton bowls to Holder. Block. Who is going to break first?

An email sways in from Dennis Mumby.

“Has anyone mentioned Jackie Robinson? Broke the color barrier in baseball in 1947 (he was an all-star for 6 straight seasons) and was a significant figure in the civil rights movement. Other than Ali, has any other sporting figure had such a profound effect in both sport and politics?”

52nd over: West Indies 162-4 ( Bonner 17, Holder 20) Most unfair of Leach to rattle through an over at breakneck speed.

51st over: West Indies 162-4 ( Bonner 17, Holder 20) It’s a double-change as Overton replaces Stokes. A full-toss is greeted thankfully and directly promptly over the cover boundary by Bonner.

50th over: West Indies 156-4 ( Bonner 12, Holder 19) Root (reluctantly?) throws the ball to Leach, and West Indies have seen the back of Wood. A mostly leg-side maiden.

49th over: West Indies 156-4 ( Bonner 12, Holder 19) Stokes from the Andy Roberts end. He’s not happy with the ball and flings it back to the umpires who put it through its paces and fling it back. The next delivery is a frustrated bouncer which Holder pulls uppishly and along to the boundary.

Yes. That would have been spine-tingling to watch - though I don’t know how the Berlin crowd reacted.

48th over: West Indies 152-4 ( Bonner 12, Holder 15) The sun, which had been briefly in hiding, flings off her vetements to dazzle directly onto Wood’s chest. A testing mix of yorkers and full bungers. Must be nearly time for him to have a rest.

“Jim in Over 35 talked about the Tour De France coverage being the pre-internet OBO got me thinking about the impact the OBO had upon online live journalism and how much sports coverage was influenced by its breezy style,” writes Tom vd Gucht. “Forget Ali, O’Sulliven, Warne, Pele, Biles, Spitz...”

“The OBO is the thinking person’s game changer. I still remember following it in its early days whilst working in a dodgy call centre after graduating and realising there wasn’t much calls for philosohers in modern workforces. It pretty much kept me sane. Not that I consider myself a thinking person...”

Very kind words! I’ll pass them onto Rob Smyth and Lawrence Booth and the crew.

47th over: West Indies 151-4 ( Bonner 11, Holder 15) Stokes, sleeves pulled up/down to middle forearm toys with Holder, but Holder defends, inelegantly, but effectively

They’re back on.

Rain stops play

46.1 overs: West Indies 150-4 ( Bonner 11, Holder 14) But a brief flurry.

46th over: West Indies 150-4 ( Bonner 11, Holder 14) Wood darts in, gazelle like. Bonner has a wild pull and misses everything. He delays Wood at top of his mark, fiddling with his gloves, and gets a short ball for his efforts. An excellent maiden.

45th over: West Indies 150-4 ( Bonner 11, Holder 14) It is Stokes’ turn to see if he rediscover his pre-lunch reverse swing. He can.

Adam Simpson may have pulled the sixpence out of the Christmas pudding. “Two words,” he taps in triumph. “Fosbury and flop. Try doing a scissor high jump these days.”

44th over: West Indies 149-4 ( Bonner 10, Holder 14) Wood has a touch of magic in his fingers in the moment and Holder is watchful.

43rd over: West Indies 147-4 ( Bonner 9, Holder 13) Holder, professionally limp handed, squeezes Overton through the slips for four. West Indies are stoically battling in this last session but England are turning the screw.

“Evening.” Hello Marcus Abdullahi!

“The man who really changed snooker was David Attenborough. It was he who commissioned Pot Black and took the game out of smoky clubs and halls and into (equally) smoky TV studios and living rooms. No Attenborough, no Hurricane, Whirlwind or Rocket.
PS The real answer is, of course, Hendry.”

Attenborough also put limited-overs cricket on BBC2.

Updated

42nd over: West Indies 140-4 ( Bonner 9, Holder 7) Rapid and testing from Wood, who nearly, nearly snaffles Holder, who deflects the ball off his legs but just short of a diving Crawley.


41st over: West Indies 140-4 ( Bonner 8, Holder 7) Overton sticks to his task, as do West Indies. Bonner is lucky to survive one that scrambles off the pitch and would have hit the pads, but for an inside edge.

40th over: West Indies 133-4 ( Bonner 7, Holder 1) Woakes trudges back and sprints in, truly the loyal spaniel of the pack. Holder squeaks his first ball for four (again) through the slips.

“Good afternoon,” taps Alfred Lutz. “ Ingemar Stenmark and Wilt Chamberlain were both so dominant that the rules of their sports were changed. Come to think of it, that’s also true for your columnist Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.”

39th over: West Indies 133-4 ( Bonner 7, Holder 1) The Barmy Army launch into evening voice - it’s a monochrome chant. One from Overton’s sharp over.

“A word for Alex Higgins?” types Peter McDonald.

More snooker?! You spoil me.

“His first world championship win really did change the sport. No Higgins, no Jimmy White no Ronnie O’Sullivan.

“And he made Derek Randall, whom I loved to bits, look like calmness personified.”

38th over: West Indies 132-4 ( Bonner 7, Holder 1) Bonner smashes Woakes’ first ball away to the rope as the ball leans legside, but the rest of the over is better directed.

Martin Wright risks a double jinx:

37th over: West Indies 128-4 ( Bonner 3, Holder 1) Overton to Holder, who plays out a maiden whilst oozing reassurance.

Tim Stappard is back on O’Sullivan.“Well O’Sullivan is totally ambidextrous and can win both ways.”

Ok, that’s pretty impressive.

Evening session

36th over: West Indies 128-4 ( Bonner 3, Holder 1) Woakes polishes off the remainder of his over without incident. It is windy out there in Antigua - but I imagine a delicious warm breeze that eases your brow and kisses your shoulders.

“A shout out here for Olga Korbut,” writes Phillip Mallett. “She wasn’t the greatest gymnast ever (though she did win three gold medals in 1972) but she was the first to become a household name. Her performance not only captivated audiences but also inspired generations of new young gymnasts, including Nadia Comaneci in 1976.”

Yes! I’d suggest Simone Biles too.

And they’ re back out for the final session, with Chris Woakes ready to complete his over.

“Congrats on turning this dire day around with three quick wickets! Must be the positive vibes.” Well thank you Mark Hooper - if only I was as omnipotent in real life.

Time for a quick cup of tea, back shortly.

Tea - West Indies 127-4 trail England by 184 runs

35.1 overs: West Indies 127-4 ( Bonner 3) A shower closes Woakes’ over after just one ball and the players take tea. England’s session after West Indies unveil a succession of heavy-footed prods to England’s grateful fielders.

WICKET! Blackwood c Overton b Woakes 11 (West Indies 127-4)

A not-out overturned on review and a morale-boosting wicket for Woakes, as Blackwood gets a salami of bat on ball and is scooped up by Overton in the gully.

England’s Chris Woakes celebrates after taking the wicket of West Indies’ Jermaine Blackwood.
England’s Chris Woakes celebrates after taking the wicket of West Indies’ Jermaine Blackwood. Photograph: Jason Cairnduff/Action Images/Reuters

Updated

35th over: West Indies 127-3 ( Bonner 3, Blackwood 11) A maiden for Overton! His first of the innings.

Jim Todd emails from Mwanza, Tanzania, to suggest as his game changer: “Eddie Merckx, who revolutionised cycling by applying professional standards. I remember following his exploits in the Tour de France in 1974 in the Daily Mail (the paper my father got !!), perhaps my introduction to OBO in its pre-internet form”

34th over: West Indies 127-3 ( Bonner 3, Blackwood 11) Woakes is hauled back into the attack after a less than sparkling start with the new ball. Unfortunately he leaks two boundaries: one an unfortunate outside edge, the other a dispatched low full toss.

33rd over: West Indies 119-3 ( Bonner 3, Blackwood 3) Blackwood reaches for a fat wide one from Stokes, but can’t get it away. On talksport they’re talking about the ball reversing - I’d be lying if I said I’d picked that up, but I need new glasses.

“Hi TanyaI’m very late to this so probably been mentioned. “William Webb Ellis. Rod Laver. Ronnie O’Sullivan.”

Thanks Tim Stappard! Was Ronnie a game-changer? My lax snooker knowledge has him as bad boy but I didn’t know he’d done transformational things with a cue. Apologies if that is a sacrilegious thing to say.

32nd over: West Indies 117-3 ( Bonner 2, Blackwood 2) A wide ( a bouncer) and a leg bye ( a full toss down the leg side) decorate Wood’s over. Foakes looks handsomely miserable behind the stumps - which will please the my male colleagues who are all obsessed with his beard.

31st over: West Indies 113-3 ( Bonner 2, Blackwood 0) Stokes opts for a fuller length in this over and Blackwood looks less than fully confident.

Smylers emails in: “Hello, Tanya. Anybody know if there are highlights of either this match or the one England women played against the WI this morning on free-to-air TV or a streaming service? These matches happen — at least partially — after our nine-year-old’s bedtime, it’d be handy way of keeping them engaged with what’s happening.”

30th over: West Indies 112-3 ( Bonner 1, Blackwood 0) A drop! The man with the golden gloves puts down a really tricky one as Blackwood has a swing and gets an inside edge which slides into Foakes’ left glove... and out again on the landing. Wood leaps into the air and folds himself up again on landing because he’s a nice guy.

Good afternoon Tanya,” Hello Kim Thonger. “All the talk today of charisma and game changing makes me feel I must put a word in for Derek ‘Arkle’ Randall. As charismatic a fielder and batsman as ever there was, in the 70s he changed the nature of fielding forever, being in the vanguard of the athleticism of the modern game. I love this quote from his Wikipedia entry, attributed to cricket writer Colin Bateman, who said, “The Retford imp was, and still is, one of the most fondly admired figures in the game... the rolling gait and big sad eyes make him Chaplinesque – and like all clowns, there is pathos behind the public image... At times, genius sat on Randall’s shoulders – the only trouble was it would not stop fidgeting”.

“I would argue that fielders before Randall (BR) were largely defensive and reactive. After Derek (AD) they gradually became proactive and predatory, apart from Tuffers, obvs.”

29th over: West Indies 107-2 ( Bonner 1) Stokes’ variation between short and shiffty and full length does for Brooks and West Indies are suddenly having a wobble.

WICKET! Brooks c Root b Stokes 18 (West Indies 111-3)

Another breakthrough! Stokes sends down a full one and Brooks can only stand and flay - straight to first slip where Root holds on at thigh height.

England’s Ben Stokes celebrates after taking the wicket of West Indies’ Shamarh Brooks.
England’s Ben Stokes celebrates after taking the wicket of West Indies’ Shamarh Brooks. Photograph: Jason Cairnduff/Action Images/Reuters

Updated

28th over: West Indies 107-2 ( Brooks 14, Bonner 1) A bizarre moment off Wood’s last ball when Bonner doubles back on himself after attempting a run and just beats a direct hit from sub fielder Ollie Pope. The umpires send it upstairs because... and as its big reveal, the screen says OUT. Everyone looks completely bemused for a few seconds until the correct decision is quickly displayed.

Just trying to sort through all the emails that Daniel didn’t have time to look at. A good shout for a game-changer here from Chris Goater.

“You have to include Michael Jordan. He was basketball in the early 90s. He changed what was considered possible on court, and I would argue he also changed perceptions of what a black sportsman could be like off the court too. He was a business, a brand, before that became the norm for sportsmen.”

And the kids still covet a pair of Jordans.

27th over: West Indies 105-2 ( Brooks 13, Bonner 0) Stokes, all slicked back hair accelerates in. It looks smooth today, not jerky as it has done in the past when he’s been carrying an injury. He pickles some short stuff: the first slides between the slips and Brooks picks up four.

Updated

26th over: West Indies 101-2 ( Brooks 9) Thanks Daniel, excellent stuff - have a lovely birthday meal. I was about to write how familiar it was to see Wood hurling himself into the dust in a thankless task, but then Brathwaite gave his wicket away after doing all the hard work. They all grab a quick drink.

WICKET! Brathwaite c Overton b Wood 55 (West Indies 101-2)

Faster, wider, and Brathwaite, boots of iron, flays the ball straight to Overton at gully.

England’s Mark Wood celebrates after taking the wicket of West Indies’ Kraigg Brathwaite.
England’s Mark Wood celebrates after taking the wicket of West Indies’ Kraigg Brathwaite. Photograph: Jason Cairnduff/Action Images/Reuters

Updated

25th over: West Indies 97-1 (Brathwaite 52, Brooks 8) Two more dots follow and England have at least put a break on the scoring, not so much shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted as once it’s nuzzling up to Jack Woltz. Anyway, my watch is done – Tanya Aldred will coax you through the remainder of the day.

“When Warnie went last week it felt to me like the end of King Lear,” emails Ian Forth. “The whole world going to hell in a handcart, and on top of all the horrors, ‘my poor Fool is dead’. The Fool plays the same role in the play that Warnie played in the real world, distracting us all with his larrikin wit, skill and entertainment from the grim realities all around us. I know the ‘fool’ may refer to Cordelia, but that line haunted me all day.”

Updated

REVIEW! NOT OUT!

The ball was bouncing over the top of leg stump. Of course it was.

25th over: West Indies 96-1 (Brathwaite 52, Brooks 8) Brooks edgges Stokes’ second ball, but it dies before the second, then he whacks the pad. There’s an appeal ... it’s rejected ... and England review. That was going down, for mine

Updated

24th over: West Indies 96-1 (Brathwaite 51, Brooks 8) With the initiative well and truly ceded – nay donated – Joe Root finally invites Mark Wood to do something. Again, this is truly unfathomable behaviour, West Indies allowed to race away having barely faced England’s best and most terrifying bowler. And who said his captaincy shows no imagination? Brathwaite takes Wood’s third ball for one, the only run from the over.

23rd over: West Indies 95-1 (Brathwaite 50, Brooks 8) England are desperate, so invite Ben Stokes to hurt himself in their service; Brathwaite shoves his loosener into the on side and jogs through for his quickest Test 50, off 62 balls. That’s the only run from the over.

Kraigg Brathwaite of the West Indies celebrates reaching his half century.
Kraigg Brathwaite of the West Indies celebrates reaching his half century. Photograph: Gareth Copley/Getty Images

“I wouldn’t include Cruyff because it was Rinus Michels who changed everything about Dutch football,” says Paul Oakes. Imagine some unknown coach wins the Champions League with a Swiss team, then makes Switzerland one of the best national sides. That’s the equivalent of what Michels did in The Netherlands in the 70s. My nomination (ignoring your time restriction) is Arnold Palmer, who made golf a professional sport. Nicklaus and Woods wouldn’t have happened without Arnie. Also, Lev Yashin changed goalkeeping.”

Disagree on Cruyff, who was a brilliant and revolutionary thinker – as he proved both as player, then again as manager.

Updated

22nd over: West Indies 94-1 (Brathwaite 49, Brooks 8) Overton waits for ball three this time, sending down one that’s not only wide but that sits up like it’s desperate for attention. So Brooks gives it what it needs, punishing four through third man, then when the follow-up is too full, he flows four more through long off. This is very, very funny, a tricky act that only the England men’s cricket team have mastered.

Updated

21st over: West Indies 86-1 (Brathwaite 49, Brooks 0) Between overs we were treated to a snatch of Jerusalema – I can’t believe Master KG managed to sing the whole song, then hold off on applauding himself for singing it. And from the sublime to the ridiculous - there’s still no Wood, never mind Branderson, and Brathwaite takes two to midwicket, his wicket in no danger either side of it.

Updated

20th over: West Indies 84-1 (Brathwaite 47, Brooks 0) In co-comms, Stephen Harmison says that at least that Overton ball hit the pitch hard, so eve though it was leg side, the intent was right. Obviously he knows a bit more about this kind of thing than I do, but goodness me, if we’re praising that then where were we prior to it? Please, please, can we see a bit of Wood now?

Updated

WICKET! Campbell c Foakes b Overton 35 (West Indies 83-1)

What a jaffa this is! Not really, a legside bouncer is gloved down the legside, and Campbell has thrown it away.

Delight for Craig Overton after he bowls John Campbell.
Delight for Craig Overton after he bowls John Campbell. Photograph: Gareth Copley/Getty Images

Updated

20th over: West Indies 83-0 (Brathwaite 47, Campbell 35) Ahahahahaha! Again, the first ball of an over makes Penthouse look like the Beano, Campbell pulling Overton’s drag-down for four.

19th over: West Indies 79-0 (Brathwaite 47, Campbell 31) Leach’s first ball is right on the end of Campbell’s swing, and he biffs it over extra for four, then takes one to mid on ... before launching six over the bowler’s heed! Kraigg Brathwaite! I know, he really did! There could scarcely exist a more damning appraisal of the threat posed by Leach, and that’s 11 off the over; England are, once again, getting absolutely dematerialised.

Updated

18th over: West Indies 68-0 (Brathwaite 41, Campbell 26) Overton returns for more nondescript trundling, Campbell schlepping his last delivery from outside off to leg for one.

“Did Warne really change cricket?” asks Kandukuru Nagarjun. “Warnie’s bowling was lovely, and I have watched his greatest hits at least once every month for years. But here’s the thing: he was a one off. Even Australia, the spiritual home of the leggie, last picked a specialist in a Test in ... 2009. Poor old Bryce McGain didn’t even pick up a wicket. On the other hand, Imran and co did change cricket. They perfected reverse swing and their legacy lives on. Loads of bowlers from other countries learnt it: Gough, Jones, Starc, Malinga, Bumrah...”

Warne didn’t just spin a ball hard though. His personality and genius drew people to the game; his ability to take wickets allowed Australia’s batters to go at four an over and meant they could win matches that had previously been out of the reach of any side.

17th over: West Indies 67-0 (Brathwaite 41, Campbell 25) Leach may have settled, ceding just two from this over. The problem for him, and for England, is that the damage may well have already been done; how has Wood only bowled three of the first 17 overs?

16th over: West Indies 65-0 (Brathwaite 40, Campbell 24) Imagine Stuart Broad’s phizog watching this! And, as I type that, Woakes sits another one up, so Campbell boshes another four through cover – the only runs from the over.

15th over: West Indies 61-0 (Brathwaite 40, Campbell 20) This is a bit better from England, Leach wheeling through another maiden.

“Kenny Roberts in motorcycling Grand Prix,” suggests Michael Hallett – presumably not Stephen Hendry’s doubles partner. “Won three 500cc titles 1978-80 using an entirely different riding style. Roberts came from the Californian dirt-track scene where sliding the back tyre to corner was the style ... except he applied it to road racing. Eventually a whole generation of engines, frames, tyres and riders emerged, geared around this style.”

Jack Leach in action.
Jack Leach in action. Photograph: Jason Cairnduff/Action Images/Reuters

Updated

14th over: West Indies 61-0 (Brathwaite 40, Campbell 20) Campbell has a drive at Woakes and misses, the highlight of a badly-needed maiden. When is Wood returning?

13th over: West Indies 61-0 (Brathwaite 40, Campbell 20) This is West Indies first opening stand of 50 in a home Test since 2019 in St Lucia – naturally, England were their opponents then, too. After Campbell takes one, Leach serves up leg-side eat as much as you like and Brathwaite doesn’t miss out, turning off the pads for the over’s obligatory boundary. I don’t want to get on his case and if there’s no one else there’s no one else, but I just don’t see a Test bowler here.

“Bloody hell, that Stipey speech was something,” returns John Foster. “Thanks so much, it passed me by at the time. I guess I considered myself too cool to care about the R&R Hall of Fame. And the Kim Gordon ‘Aneurysm’ - wow, can’t believe I hadn’t heard that before. I’m of a similar age to you and for me the chorus of ‘Lithium’ – here presented as a relic – pretty much sums up the wild, nihilistic, optimistic, disengaged, conscientious, pseudo-bohemian spirit of the atmosphere for a spotty, but happy, teenage loser-man in the 90s. I won’t draw any fatuous comparisons to Warne, because they’re obvious, implicit, and best left unsaid. As you did so gracefully. But thanks, chum, for bringing that to my attention.”

12th over: West Indies 56-0 (Brathwaite 36, Campbell 19) Woakes starts again, from a different end ... with similar results. His loosener is just back of a length, but it sits up and Brathwaite clumps to deep backward point for four; oh dear. Three dots follow, then a brace soft-handed behind, and England badly need something.

“Can I suggest an addition to your list of game-changing sportspeople,” asks David Mullett: Johan Cruyff. “Not just a great player but also a massively influential coach. Dutch total football changed the way the game was played and still does, thanks to Pep.”

Yes, absolutely – he’s not of my lifetime, so I left him out because I didn’t experience his effect upon the world, but he absolutely had one.

11th over: West Indies 50-0 (Brathwaite 30, Campbell 19) Campbell isn’t waiting to be asked, reversing Leach’s second ball for four; two singles follow, and England really need to stem the flow of boundaries.

Off we go again; Jack Leach has the ball.

“Would Jonah Lomu rate a mention?” wonders Allan MacDonald. “Rugby’s first and to-date only global superstar, he completely changed the way rugby was played and was the template for a wholly new type of winger. There have been wingers who are taller/heavier than Lomu, but no-one has been bigger. And, like Shane Warne, sadly taken from us far too soon.”

I went to a sports supper quiz with my dad sometime in 1995, and though I know nothing about rugby union, got full marks on the rugby World Cup round. My dad was shocked, so I was forced to confess that its scheduling during my GCSE study leave may have had something to do with it. Anyhow, Lomu was indeed like nothing I’d ever seen before – did he change the game, or was he seen as a one-off? I guess James Small and Joost van der Westhuizen were his Tendulkar and VVS.

“A thought on your game-changers topic of discussion,” emails Neil Stewart. “In cricket, Ranjitsinhji must be a good candidate as a batter. He was a pioneer in playing shots all around the wicket, both in front and behind (apparently the latter was uncommon up to the Edwardian era), and playing off the back foot. He even invented the leg-glance! Pretty revolutionary.”

Absolutely, plus a fair bit of presence too.

“Presumably the England bowlers are being a bit rubbish because they know they will all be dropped for the next Test on account of the top-order batting failure yesterday,” snarks Robin Hazlehurst. “And if they all bowl like drains then maybe England’s selection policy will mean the batsmen get dropped instead.”

Lunchtime email: “I was the Rajasthan Royals videographer from 2008 to 2012,” emails Julian Dismore. “At first Warney wasn’t very welcoming – to put it mildly – he was understandably worried about a cameraman filming his ‘exuberant refuelling’ between matches. But a dance-off at a post IPL match party changed all that. He was in hysterics and said watching me dance was the most entertaining ‘15 minutes of his life’ – which made me feel incredibly proud. That man had had some very entertaining 15 minutes! We’d bonded – and after that he couldn’t have been more helpful and generous with his time. We had so many laughs together in India, South Africa, Australia and England. He was without doubt the most charismatic man I’ve ever met. His knowledge of the game was unparalleled and he loved imparting it to his protégés. He is already terribly missed, but will never be forgotten.”

Lovely stuff, thanks for that.

I’m off to buy some sweets; see you in around half an hour, to do some emails and get on with the afternoon session. It should be a belter.

10th over: West Indies 44-0 (Brathwaite 29, Campbell 14) Playing away from his body, Brathwaite slices past gully for two, then slashes at a wide, bouncy one, which leaps over gully for four more. This bowling has been no better than yesterday morning’s batting – it’s the way I tell ‘em – and that’s lunch.

“The subtle art of captaincy,” says Charles Sheldrick. “Woakes is being slapped round the park like a Sunday-afternoon trundler. Overton keeping it quiet at the other end so Root takes Overton off.”

I guess he needed to get Wood on and fancied Woakes was still more likely to get the breakthrough, but ultimately England have left out bowlers better than both – on purpose – so nothing surprises me.

9th over: West Indies 36-0 (Brathwaite 21, Campbell 14) Root tosses Leach the ball for the obligatory go-around before lunch, whenever that happens to be; Campbell comes down to his loosener and prods towards short leg, but Lees can’t grab quickly enough to shy at the stumps. Maiden.

8th over: West Indies 36-0 (Brathwaite 21, Campbell 14) Wood is settled now, bowling with a first slip, third slip, gully and short leg; he hits 92mph before Campbell turns him into the on side for one. It’s the only run of the over, and West Indies are still to lose a wicket; this is your reminder that England opted to leave 1137 of the badgers at home because, well, er, um, but, um, er, but, um, um, er.

7th over: West Indies 35-0 (Brathwaite 21, Campbell 13) Woakes overpitches and Brathwaite steps gently down the pitch to send the ball hurtling past the bowler and to the fence ... then, three balls later, whips four more to deep backward square! This is excellent from the hosts and miserable from the tourists ... but the session is extended, presumably because it rained earlier.

6th over: West Indies 27-0 (Brathwaite 13, Campbell 13) Root has seen enough, sending Wood on for Overton, and Brathwaite quickly gets down the other end with a single to cover. So Wood goes around to Campbell, hitting the pads as the batter falls towards the off side, but all in all this has been a poor min-sesh from England, who’ve one over to redeem things.

Updated

5th over: West Indies 26-0 (Brathwaite 12, Campbell 13) I know they use the Duke ball in the Caribbean, but Woakes is still extremely lucky to be leading England’s attack in this series; I know he bats nicely and perhaps he’ll be useful in the summer, but he is not a better – or more hiLarious option – than Stuart Broad. anyhow, his first delivery is straight so Brathwaite twizzles him for four to fine leg, then shoves him to long off for three; two more to Campbell make it nine off the over and West Indies have started nicely.

4th over: West Indies 17-0 (Brathwaite 5, Campbell 11) West Indies have settled now, and the batsmen take a single each; again, stop whatever you’re doing and inspire yourself courtesy of Michael Stipe. I defy you not to love it.

3rd over: West Indies 15-0 (Brathwaite 4, Campbell 10) A jaffa to begin Woakes’ second over, wobble-seamed across Campbell and leaving him, too good for his outside-edge; Campbell responds well, larruping a short one over midwicket for four. So Woakes goes back to slanting across, again beating the outside edge; it’s a no ball, it turns out, but that was still a really fine delivery ... only for the next to be sent over midwicket too for four more!

“I can’t think of a sportsperson in history where a player completely reinvented, or at least rediscovered, a way of playing their sport which was completely novel,” says Thomas Atkins. “Brady, for all his longevity and brilliance, basically did what other people do, just better. Warne came along and bowled in a way nobody below a certain age had ever seen before. It was like he’d been beamed down from space.”

And when to that, you add the personality that meant he could grab hold of a match, then refocus it to be all about him, you’ve got something extremely special. I’m reminded, as it goes, of Michael Stipe’s beautiful and moving speech inducting Nirvana into the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame. Watch it, it’s only a few minutes, and I promise your eyeballs will be sweating in the aftermath.

2nd over: West Indies 5-0 (Brathwaite 4, Campbell 1) I was wondering who’d share the new ball with Woakes, and it’s not Wood, it’s Overton. I can see why – Wood is dangerous without the shine, and can generate reverse – but on a new-ball wicket in particular, I’d have gone for his extra pace; if I’m honest, I don’t totally understand the wisdom of even picking Overton, who’s never struck me as a difference-maker at this level. Anyhow, Overton starts around to the left-handed Campbell and sees his final delivery shoved into the off side for one.

1st over: West Indies 4-0 (Brathwaite 4, Campbell 0) Yeah, this is brilliant stuff – the crowd are singing Jerusalem once again, hurray, amazing, what an effort! Brathwaite sees away Woakes’ first three balls, then is almost foxed by one moving in; to redress the balance, he gets down on one knee to crash a drive through mid off for four.

Updated

Righto, back we go. This is, it seems a new-ball wicket, so England, armed with 311 rescued from 48-4, will be wanting to get stuck into West Indies early. Let’s see...

“Brady vs Ali is an interesting debate,” emails Freddie Heynes. “As a recent follower of the NFL, I was unaware of quite how dominant Brady was during his (exceptionally long) 22 season career as a quarterback. Wikipedia has a list as long as a YJB six of his various records and achievements. Ali is undoubtedly an incredible boxer – don’t get me wrong – but Brady might just be the greatest sportsman of his discipline the world has ever seen. Hopefully YJB continues in current form - I’ve spent so long fiddling over this email that I’ve missed any updates since the Overton wicket.”

Brady, though, was just good at what he did – there’s no cultural currency of which I’m aware, nor any innovation that was all his.

“Gamechangers,” says John Starbuck. “If you stick to cricket, measure it by how their actions affected the game to the extent that the Laws were changed. WG Grace’s reactions with umpires, Douglas Jardine/Harold Larwood’s bodyline, Derek Underwood’s performance on sticky dogs, Mike Gatting/Shakoor Rana bringing in neutral Test umpires and Clive Lloyd’s fast bowling attacks generating increased bodily armour all deserve recognition.”

Sure, but I think I’m asking a slightly different question, about people who combine gamechanging genius with unstoppable competitive charisma. Either way, it’s a while since a celebrity death affected me as much as Warnie’s – no doubt I’m just the right age to be considering the passing of my childhood while wondering about my own mortality, but – and this is going to sound trite, so apologies – he felt like a mate in a way few sportsfolk do.

England will have wanted a few more, but they’re well in the match. The next hour will be crucial*.

*Likewise the hour after that and the hour after that.

WICKET! Bairstow c Holder b Joseph 140 (England all out 311)

This is an unbelievable catch, it really is. Bairstow looks to boom a drive down the ground but ends up carving to backward point, where the swirl deceives Holder, who winds up having to take it over his head, diving backwards. Brilliant grab to end a brilliant innings, and this match is properly set up.

Jason Holder dives backwards to catch out Bairstow.
Jason Holder dives backwards to catch out Bairstow. Photograph: Ricardo Mazalán/AP

Updated

100th over: England 311-9 (Bairstow 140, Leach 4) Roach surprises Bairstow with a bouncer and the pair exchange smiles, then he adds one more via pull to deep square. Roach, though, finds it harder to see the funny side when Leach edges his first ball at catchable height, only for Da Silva and Campbell to leave it for each other at cost of a boundary-four. That’s got to be keeper’s ball, given he’s wearing gloves and has the best look at it, and Roach, flapping arms and stamping foot, has been more gruntled.

99th over: England 306-9 (Bairstow 139, Leach 0) Now they take drinks, and because they crossed it’s Bairstow on strike – a law that will soon not exist. A leg bye follows.

“As I have no idea of how old you are,” says Mark Slater, “I shall give you the name of the person who really changed their sport and became an icon in doing so: Martina Navratilova. There were great players before, and Serena Williams is greater now than Navratilova was, but MN changed women’s tennis from a languid game played in pretty frocks into a professional athletic challenge. She took on players who otherwise would have been undisputed champions, each upping the level of the game, and beat them - Chris Evert, Tracey Austin, and those who peaked briefly. Martina Navratilova made women’s tennis a force in its own right.”

I’m 43 yesterday, and love Martina – see below. She was actually on my list when I had the conversation with my wife, and absolutely belongs on it. The 30 for 30 with her and Evert is a beautiful anatomy of a friendship.

WICKET! Wood c Permaul b Joseph 1 (England 305-9)

Cramped for space, Wood again defaults to his hook, or his hooke as he probably calls it, skying one to point.

Veerasammy Permaul takes the catch to see off Wood.
Veerasammy Permaul takes the catch to see off Wood. Photograph: Randy Brooks/AFP/Getty Images

Updated

99th over: England 305-8 (Bairstow 139, Wood 1) Drinks are delayed as consequence of the rain delay, then Joseph replaces Seales – I wonder if he’ll come back at the other end – and Bairstow takes his loosener for one to fine leg.

Updated

98th over: England 304-8 (Bairstow 138, Wood 1) Ah man, 90s cricket was so good: Wasim and Waqar, Courtney and Curtly, Warne and McGrath, Murali and Vaas, Ilott and McCague. Anyhow, Roach returns, and again Wood has no answer to a jaffa that moves away from him – he’s going to need Hazza Houdini to untangle his blood before he’s asked to bowl. Maiden, and that’s drinks I think.

97th over: England 304-8 (Bairstow 138, Wood 1) When your luck’s in it’s in, and Bairstow attempts a filthy slog, sending an edge for four disappearing over the cordon and to the fence for four, much to Seales’ amusement; two to extra follow, meaning England have now made more runs in this innings than in any in Australia. To emphasise the point, Bairstow opens the face for add four more, taking his team beyond 300! 300! I cannot believe what I’m seeing – and Jack Leach is still in the hut. Two singles follow, the second setting Wood away and making it 12 from the over.

96th over: England 292-8 (Bairstow 127, Wood 0) Bairstow picks Holder’s slower one, set down at the back of the hand; I’m not sure why he tried that first up, with the batters under pressure, and shonuff Bairstow flays it through cover for four. Two balls later, he’s through his drive too early, presenting the full face ... and Holder, barely following-through, spills a dolly. Eesh, follow-through is right, and when Bairstow then pinches a single, he makes it home just as the throw breaks the stumps.

Back to Warne-level greatness, Charles Sheldrick suggests Ayrton Senna and David hHarland Wayne Gretzsky.

95th over: England 287-8 (Bairstow 122, Wood 0) I’m looking forward to a bit of Seales v Wood, and shonuff Wood unfurls a hook first up – he misses, on the duck, then controls himself and allows the remaining five balls to pass him by.

94th over: England 287-8 (Bairstow 122, Wood 0) A leg bye, then Holder totally befuddles Wood, whose attempts to play result in a bye – the first conceded by Da Silva all innings.

“I’m sure you’ve had this suggestion already but Muhammad Ali arguably helped change the world, let alone his sport,” says David Hopkins. “ On a related note, a friend recently made the quite ludicrous suggestion that he ranked Tom Brady higher than Ali. I’m still waiting for details of what possible metric this would be true by.”

Yes, of course – I was thinking in my time of watching sport, but forgot to add that parameter.

Updated

93rd over: England 285-8 (Bairstow 122, Wood 0) Seales now has 3-67. Decent.

Updated

WICKET! Overton c Bonner b Seales 0 (England 285-6)

Ahahahaha! England! Three minutes ago, they were fully in control, and Overton defended his first ball very nicely ... before glancing his second to short leg, where Bonner took an extremely smart catch. West Indies are right back in this!

Craig Overton is caught by Nkrumah Bonner.
Craig Overton is caught by Nkrumah Bonner. Photograph: Gareth Copley/Getty Images

Updated

WICKET! Woakes c Da Silva b Seales 28 (England 285-7)

This is an excellent bumper, leaping late and close to the body; Woakes raises hands as he tries to turn away, and the ball catches his thumb on the way to the keeper. Still, a(nother) very useful innings.

Woakes walks as Seales celebrates.
Woakes walks as Seales celebrates. Photograph: Jason Cairnduff/Action Images/Reuters

Updated

93rd over: England 285-6 (Bairstow 119, Woakes 28) Bairstow stomps down the track to base Seales, on for Roach, for three through cover.

On Warne, feel free to send in any recollections of the great man to start, here’s one of mine. I was lucky enough to ghost KP on Cricket, and when KP took me through the stuff that’s extracted here, I could barely believe the thrill I felt. It was all I could do to refrain from bawling my eyes out.

Updated

92nd over: England 282-6 (Bairstow 119, Woakes 27) Holder – who, let’s not forget, started his first spell yesterday with five maidens – sends down another.

“Dick Fosbury, Seve Ballesteros, John Curry, Danny Macaskill,” says Gary Naylor of sportsfolk on Warne’s level. Fosbury of course, but though he had the creativity and charisma I don’t think Seve was good enough – great as he was.

Updated

91st over: England 281-6 (Bairstow 119, Woakes 27) Five dots from Roach, then Woakes bumps down into the odd side and they race through for a single. This has been a good start from England – if West Indies get nothing out of the new ball, they’re in big trouble.

“I was just looking back to when England last scored 300 in a Test,” emails Pete Salmon, “and it seems to have been the third Test against India in August 2021. Only three England players are still in the team – Root, Bairstow and ... Craig Overton! Well done that man.”

Craig Overthreeton, more like!!!!

90th over: England 281-6 (Bairstow 119, Woakes 27) Bairstow nurdles a single into the on side, then Woakes guides one through slip; not much going on here, until Holder delivers a beauty that gulls Bairstow into a drive; he misses with all but the outermost fibres of his outside edge, and it’s that which saves him from being bowled.

“That is indeed excellent news from His Bobness,” says John Foster. “Will he ever stop surprising, in the most wonderful ways? The announcement yesterday was some balm as I finally had to give up two tickets for his show in Lubbock, Texas last night, what with being stuck 6,000 miles away in East Kent. We got the tickets about a year ago (I grew up in Texas and haven’t been back for a while) when the original date was in August this year. It was such an extravagant purchase, my partner and I decided it would make an excellent honeymoon, so then we decided we’d finally get married to justify it. The show was rescheduled to yesterday not long ago and no refund because it wasn’t cancelled and too late to do anything about it.

So in a simple twist of fate, I spent yesterday evening planning a wedding while decidedly not sipping a Lone Star while basking in the glory of Bob’s latest opus. Still, all’s well that ends well – managed to find a nice French lady who needed tickets but couldn’t afford any, and was on the Greyhound from Albuquerque to Lubbock in expectation, so at least they went to a good home. Plus she contributed to the setlist on boblinks.com and I take a vicarious joy from that.

See you soon Bob.”

Ah man, mazal tov to you both!

Updated

89th over: England 279-6 (Bairstow 118, Woakes 26) The Jonny’s for turning, waiting for Roach and guiding a straight one around the corner for four. He’s seeing it like Comet Dibiasky, he really is, and will have Graham Gooch in his earworm telling him to make this a daddy. Roach responds well, swinging one in that snags away off the seam, before his final ball is sent for one to square leg.

Updated

Off we go again!

It’s nice and sunny.

Jason Holder bowls to Woakes.
Jason Holder bowls to Woakes. Photograph: Jason Cairnduff/Action Images/Reuters

Updated

“Whilst reading about the late, great Shane Warne,” emails Darrien Bold, “I instinctively started to utter ‘Bowling Warney’ in the Healy/Gilchrist style. This got me thinking, what are the memorable England wicket-keeping chirps? The first one that came into my head was the Gaffer giving it a solid ‘I like it Crofty’ after the batsman gets in a tangle over a straight one.”

Ah yes, the England spinner classic: was it the one that didn’t turn, or the one that went straight on? But goodness me, the late, great Shane Warne – what a dreadfully depressing combination of words that is. I’ve been thinking, over the last few days, which sportsfolk I’d put on his level of game-changing greatness. I came up with Ronnie O’Sullivan, Diego Maradona, Usain Bolt and Serena Williams.

You may have missed this yesterday. Correct that today.

We’ve only seen two overs, but England look pretty settled out there – and, as I type that, the covers are removed. Problem being, the wind keeps catching them so it’s turned into something of a struggle.

Ohhhhh, saaaaake! Rain stops play.

Hopefully not for long.

88th over: England 274-6 (Bairstow 113, Woakes 26) Jason Holder is invited to open from the other end, which makes sense – he bowled well yesterday, and West Indies needs his parsimony at this point. Sure enough, he induces an outside edge from Woakes, and the batters run two.

“Re broken records,” tweets Adrian Pennington, “look no further than the bittersweet end of Brighton Rock (1948) the Boulting Brothers’ brilliant reversioned ending to Greene’s novel.”

87th over: England 272-6 (Bairstow 113, Woakes 24) Kemar Roach has the ball while, in the crowd, various England fans sing Jerusalem then applaud themselves for so doing; it’s moving in the extreme. Anyhow, Roach directs an inswinger into Bairstow’s pads, so he turns away for two, then punches through extra for two more. Otherwise, a question: for those of us in the UK, is this the best tour in terms of following from home? On the one hand, there’s nothing like waking up to cricket, but on the other, there’s nothing like cricket nursing you through the post-lunch carb hangover and beyond.

Our players are with us. Play.

Sam Billings has just compared himself to a broken record, which made me wonder: do broken records actually repeat? That’s not my experience, so maybe the idiom needs refreshing – like a record being played by Grandmaster Flash, for example. Catchy or what?

It didn’t look it during the first hour, but I wonder if this was a good toss to win. The pitch is a bit crumbly, which should help England’s bowlers, and if they can add a bit of scoreboard pressure to that, West Indies will have to work hard to stay in the match.

Mark Butcher has an unusual pair of pumps on today, along with a pair of pink socks. More news as I get it on that one, but in the meantime he points out a divot the ball took out of the pitch yesterday – which has not escaped Jonny Bairstow, who showed it to the umpires earlier this morning.

“England get to 350 in the first innings?” emails Charles Sheldrick. “What has Foakes been smoking?”

And, more importantly, how will redeye set-off against his grey-blue stunners?

On which point, it’s good to see him back. I can’t lie, I wanted Buttler to get a proper run because his talent was too extreme to bin him forever without being sure. But it’s hard to argue the time hasn’t come, and it remains a shame that the bloke brought in to take the game away coming in at 300-5 was forever faced with a rescue gig at 37-5.

Ben Foakes tells BT that his main aim, when batting, was not to get out – it’ll never catch on! – and says he got done by a slightly shorter one that kept a bit low. He reckons anywhere near 350 would be a great effort.

I’ve decided that we’ve spent enough time discussing this thing of ours while also discussing his Bobness, so here’s Laura Snapes with the news:

“Please tell Mr Tickner,” says Dean Kinsella, “that is not a ‘fun’ fact.”

Agreed - it’s a “funny” fact. I shall endeavour to pass on admonishment.

David Gower, now of BT Sport, has his shirt – herringbone, natch – unbuttoned to a jaunty level. It’s never too late to change.

Tell you what, I’m properly looking forward to today’s play. We’ll get time to discuss England’s attack during it, but in the meantime I can’t fathom how anyone can possibly think this combination is the answer.

Email! “Yesterday I suggested that England’s guest coach had been Roger Daltry,” says Em Jackson. “However today I think we need it to be Survivor because to get near 350 (or certainly over 300) we need Bairstow to be there with the ‘Eye of Tiger’ from the first ball of the day . . . . . else “’We Won’t Be Fooled Again’.”

I refer you to the below, but tangentially always enjoyed Raymond van Barneveld singing the “eye of the tiger” bit of his walk-in the process of applying it to himself.

It’s a funny thing, really, that with all the fuss over Australia and India, England’s most compelling recent contests have been against West Indies. That does, I suppose, say plenty about where these sides are currently, but also tells us we should be in for another bazzing series.

Preamble

It is characteristic of a good team that someone always finds a way. When, for example, West Indies were the best in the world, on the odd occasion their top order were knocked over for minimals, Gus Logie and Jeff Dujon would bail them out, while the mere words Bevan and Bichel are enough to bring anyone me out in hives.

England, though, seem to have missed out the getting good bit, constantly reliant on their lower middle-order and tail to simply stay competitive – amazingly, the cunning ruse of omitting the third and sixth-most successful Test bowlers of all-time has not yet been reflected in the runs for column. Still, the tactic remains in its infancy, so let’s not snark at it prior to Craig Overton’s matchwinning ton and eight-fer.

In the meantime, though, responsibility rests with Jonny Bairstow – himself a victim of cockeyed selection policy. Had he been dropped when it was clear his approach against the red ball needed honing, he’d have been back ensconced by the time he was finally and mercifully left out, his Test career on life support. But Bairstow being Bairstow, he never gave up, and after getting his latest chance in Australia – most likely his last chance – he found a way to make it count. If he can bat one more session this morning, he’ll leave his team in a strong position, but if West Indies mop them up in the crucial first hour, they’ll be well set to remind us all that England remain a poor team that always find a way to to give it away.

Play: 10am local, 2pm GMT

Updated

Sign up to read this article
Read news from 100’s of titles, curated specifically for you.
Already a member? Sign in here
Related Stories
Top stories on inkl right now
One subscription that gives you access to news from hundreds of sites
Already a member? Sign in here
Our Picks
Fourteen days free
Download the app
One app. One membership.
100+ trusted global sources.