Jacob Steinberg was at the London Stadium to see this one. His verdict has landed. Enjoy that report, and thanks for reading this one. Nighty night!
A gleeful David Moyes takes his turn. “It didn’t feel very nice in the second half because Watford put us under loads of pressure. But we started the game brilliantly, the goals we scored were terrific and we gave ourselves a real chance. We’ve not defended as well as I’d like, but tonight we did. Our first-half performance was excellent, but so was our second half from a defensive perspective. We’re in a good position, but other teams still have a chance and we still have to do a job. If we can get to 40 points, we’ll have done it off our own back.”
Here’s Nigel Pearson, quietly fuming, which I think we can all agree is the most frightening sort of fume. “First half we let the game pass us by. They had three attempts and scored three goals. [Pulls face, pauses] We had passengers, unfortunately, and that is disappointing at this stage of the season. In the second half we were much improved, very competitive, but the game’s passed us by, and that is annoying and very disappointing. Now we’ve got to find another one, or possibly two, good results from our remaining games. But there’s no getting away from the fact that the result is bitterly disappointing. The performance in the first half is more than disappointing. I would expect better from our players, that’s not to say everybody and a lot of what I say stays in the dressing room. But it’s not about self-preservation, it’s about collective responsibility and I didn’t feel we had that in the first half. It’s now a case of finding solutions. The players will get honest feedback. Believe me, the players will go home tonight thinking they let this one drift past us.”
An extremely happy Declan Rice talks to Sky. “Jesus Christ! We started really well. Three great goals. But our second-half performance wasn’t good enough. We need to stop being in the comfort zone, dropping deep. But luckily enough we got the win. Tonight is massive, the fans were nervous and I’m so happy we could give them the three points. When I saw my shot hit the back of the net, it was a great feeling, to get one on a special night like this, I’m over the moon. We can’t say we’re safe yet, because it’s not mathematically done. It’s not over to the final day, and we’ll keep fighting. Special mention to the manager as well, they work 24/7 to get the best team out.”
Yep, West Ham are pretty much safe now. They’re six clear of the danger zone with two games to play, and no team has ever been relegated from such a position. They’ve also got a much healthier goal difference than Aston Villa, Bournemouth and Watford. Some very strange events would have to occur now for them to go down. Watford, though, are in bother. They’ve got three points on Bournemouth and Villa, but they’ve got to host Manchester City and travel to Arsenal, and goal difference is no longer their friend. Having said all that, Watford have been pulling off stunning victories over Arsenal for decades, so all is not lost. It’s going to be some scrap for survival, and it could well go down to the wire.
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FULL TIME: West Ham United 3-1 Watford
A huge and richly deserved win for West Ham, who steamrollered Watford in the first half, then weathered a brief second-half storm. They could easily have slipped into panic mode, but they held firm, and while Premier League survival isn’t guaranteed mathematically yet, they’re surely all but safe. And they celebrate accordingly with a big group hug. Watford, with two very difficult games left, are suddenly looking over their shoulder at Bournemouth, who don’t.
90 min +4: Antonio, who has done as much as anyone to keep West Ham in this division, is replaced by Balbuena.
90 min +3: Antonio takes it into the corner. Clever play, as time ticks on.
90 min +2: Watford hoick a couple of hail Marys into the West Ham box. The hosts deal with them easily enough.
90 min: Space for Gray down the left. One rush of blood later, and the ball’s sailing out of play on the right. There will be five more minutes of this.
88 min: Cleverley sends Sarr skating away down the right. He’s got Gray in the middle, but his low curling cross is no good, behind his team-mate, and Johnson is able to clear.
86 min: Pedro comes on for Welbeck.
85 min: Johnson wins a corner down the right. Nothing comes of it, but the clock ticks on.
84 min: “If Tom Shaw is covering both ears, what did he use to type his message? And was that why he was hiding behind the sofa?” Adam Hirst, ladies and gentlemen. He’s here all week. Try the pie and liquor.
82 min: Yarmolenko comes on for Bowen. Then Sarr curls in from the right. It’s a fiendish cross, but Gray takes a fresh-air swipe six yards out, then the ball clanks off a confused Welbeck and over the bar. What a chance to get the West Ham nerves jangling that was.
81 min: Sarr and Gray combine again down the right, Gray starting his run into the box from an onside position this time. He tries to pull back for Welbeck in the middle, but Ogbonna blocks and clears.
80 min: Watford pass it around in midfield, to no great effect. West Ham are perfectly happy to leave them to it.
78 min: Sarr and Gray try to make some space on the right with a crisp interchange, but the flag goes up for an offside. Watford have lost all of their early second-half momentum.
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77 min: The clock ticks on, and West Ham edge ever closer to safety. Or being all but safe, at the very least. Not that their fans are taking anything for granted. “I was at Upton Park in about 1967 when we led Stoke City 3-0 at half time with a side that contained over a quarter of the World Cup winning team,” writes Tom Shaw. “We ended up losing 3-4. That memory has never left me, which is why I’m hiding behind the sofa with my ears covered right now.”
75 min: Antonio sashays down the left and curls in a cross with the outside of his right boot. Soucek heads over from close range.
73 min: A loose ball bouncing 30 yards from the Watford goal, with Foster in no-man’s land. Haller, with his first touch, loops over the keeper and towards the empty net ... but Foster, backpedalling furiously, gets a fingertip to the ball and sends it inches wide left. The resulting corner is a non-event.
72 min: The game restarts, both sides having made a change. Haller comes on for Fornals, while Chalobah replaces Doucoure.
71 min: Time for a drink. Hank’s Lookaround Cafe, anyone?
70 min: A corner on the right leads to one on the left. From that, Hughes and Sarr break upfield, combining down the right, but ultimately running the ball out of play for a goal kick.
69 min: Rice takes a belt from distance. The ball pings off the top of Dawson’s noggin and out for a corner.
67 min: Watford need to try something different, so Gray comes on for Deeney.
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66 min: Watford continue to dominate possession, though West Ham have regained much of their composure.
64 min: Antonio chases a lost cause down the left and nearly strips the ball from a wandering Foster. The keeper just about ushers the ball out for a goal kick, but he had to strain every sinew to hold Antonio off. “I think Larry did want people to keep flipping,” argues Niall Mullen. “And also not to. He was a self-hating narcissist doing a job he loved but couldn’t stand. He wanted everyone to love him and leave him the hell alone.”
62 min: Cresswell blasts the free kick straight into the Watford wall. Very poor.
61 min: A Watford free kick, out on the right. Cleverley swings it long. Diop is forced to head out for a corner. From the set piece, Bowen breaks upfield at pace. He makes it all the way to the edge of the Watford box, where he’s unceremoniously barged to the ground by a clumsy Kiko. A dangerous position this, just to the right of centre.
59 min: Kiko fizzes a ball across the face of goal from the left. Neither Sarr nor Welbeck can extend a leg at the far post to turn it home. Another goal - and the momentum has changed - and West Ham will get the fear.
58 min: Cleverley quarterbacks again, and Dawson nearly cushions a header down to the feet of Deeney, on the penalty spot. Not quite.
57 min: Watford continue on the front foot. Cleverley crosses from the right, causing Fabianski to punch clear from a crowded box, albeit not in a particularly convincing fashion.
55 min: Sarr gets himself into a good position on the right, but floats a harmless cross out for a goal kick. Watford fancy this now.
53 min: West Ham have dropped 24 points from winning positions this season, the worst record in the division. Just sayin’. Meanwhile here’s Matt Burtz, asking the big questions: “If Larry didn’t want people to flip channels, why did he always demonstrate how to do it?”
51 min: West Ham respond by winning three corners. Nothing comes of any of them. There’s no way the goal tally of this match is stopping at four, though. It’s absurdly open.
GOAL! West Ham United 3-1 Watford (Deeney 49)
Hello there. Deeney, on the left touchline, backheels to Welbeck who flicks Doucoure. Doucoure strides into the box and turns Ogbonna gracefully, before curling a gorgeous sidefoot around Fabianski and off the bottom of the right-hand post. Deeney calmly slots the rebound into the bottom right. Game on!
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47 min: Watford are on the front foot immediately, Welbeck romping down the right, Sarr then winning a corner. Hughes takes, and Kabasele tries to guide a header into the bottom left. The ball flies just wide. A good chance.
West Ham get the second half underway. Watford have made a change: the left-back Masina is hooked. Kiko will move over to take his place, while Mariappa comes on as right-back.
Half-time entertainment. One thing we do already know: Leeds United are back. Louise Taylor explains how that interminable 16-year exile was brought to an end.
HALF TIME: West Ham United 3-0 Watford
As things stand, West Ham are all but safe, while Watford’s goal difference has taken the sort of hammering that will give Bournemouth and Aston Villa a boost going into the final two rounds of matches. Plenty of time yet for it all to change, of course. See you after the break. No flipping!
45 min +1: The resulting free kick is worked wide right to Kiko, who curls a fine cross towards Dawson. From six yards, the big defender whistles his header harmlessly over the bar, a huge chance to give Watford a little half-time hope spurned.
45 min: Johnson gives the ball away by the centre circle. Sarr goes racing off down the middle, with options either side, the West Ham defence backtracking in a panic. Rice takes a booking for the team, clipping Sarr cynically on the ankle.
44 min: Masina flings a long throw into the mixer from the left. A game of head tennis breaks out, and Bowen wins it.
42 min: West Ham appear happy enough to let Watford have the ball. The visitors are doing nothing with it.
40 min: Watford spend a bit of time in the West Ham final third, but the hosts hold their shape and there’s no way through. Watford desperately need something before the break if there’s to be any hope for them.
38 min: Watford are stunned. No wonder, that was a very strange goal. Not sure what Foster was thinking about; he wasn’t unsighted, but didn’t respond at all. Did he think the shot was sailing wide? He certainly started beating the ground with his big fists as the net rippled.
GOAL! West Ham United 3-0 Watford (Rice 36)
From the corner, Noble plays a pass back up the left wing for Rice, who drops a shoulder, drifts inside, and curls a stunner from 25 yards into the bottom right! That fairly flew in, the surprise element catching Foster flat-footed. Rice romps towards the bench and celebrates with his manager, smiles all round.
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35 min: Hughes is booked for a cynical clip on Noble, who was busy instigating a break down the left wing. That happens after the referee plays on anyway, Fornals tearing upfield and winning a corner. An exercise in futility. Especially as ...
34 min: Bowen has a wee probe down the right but goes nowhere.
32 min: Sarr tries to cheer him up by bursting clear down the left. But just as he enters the box and shapes to shoot, Ogbonna extends a leg from behind and toe-pokes the ball away. Fine defence, but Sarr is causing West Ham all sorts of problems.
31 min: On the touchline, Nigel Pearson turns his back and delivers an unambiguous, thin-lipped, gloriously frustrated “for fuck’s sake”. Each syllable spat out with great feeling. Marvellous.
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30 min: West Ham waste a corner by seriously overplaying. This game has lost all of its early rhythm.
29 min: VAR has a check for violent conduct after Sarr slaps Cresswell on the beak. He’s drawn blood, but the officials decide it’s accidental.
27 min: Cleverley dinks a cross in from the right. It twings off Ogbonna’s right shoulder. Watford want a penalty but they’re never getting it. Ogbonna was right next to his man, and didn’t move his arm at all.
26 min: Noble tries to find Bowen down the left with a raking long pass, but Foster is quickly out of the blocks, and his area, to blooter clear, just in time.
25 min: Everyone refreshed, the game restarts.
24 min: And that’s drinks!
22 min: Masina finds himself in a good position out on the left, but with team-mates in the box, attempts a strange first-time floater that balloons out for a goal kick.
20 min: Deeney barges his way across the face of the West Ham box, left to right, hoping space opens up for a shot. It doesn’t, so he slips Sarr away on the right wing. Sarr stands one up but can’t find Welbeck in the middle. Watford are carrying a threat, this is far from over.
18 min: Noble busies himself down the left but can’t quite open Watford up. The hosts aren’t taking their foot off the gas, despite that fast start.
16 min: Hughes creams a pass down the inside right to release Sarr into the box. Fabianski comes racing off his line and rashly bowls him over. It’d be a penalty ... had Sarr not gone too early. It’s a clear offside, though VAR faffs about unnecessarily, giving Watford false hope for a few seconds. We play on.
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14 min: Rice feeds Bowen down the right. Bowen drops a shoulder to cut infield and attempts a curler towards the top left. Blocked. Both teams look dangerous going forward, not quite so assured at the back. There’s a reason this is a battle against relegation, I guess.
12 min: On the touchline, Nigel Pearson stands with his hands on his hips, half-stunned, quietly seething. His players try to respond positively again, Sarr creaming a shot straight at Fabianski from a tight position on the right. Cleverley tries to fire home the rebound but Ogbonna blocks. Some start, this. On another day, Sarr could have already bagged himself a couple.
GOAL! West Ham United 2-0 Watford (Soucek 10)
Bowen knows how to cross a ball, and he swings in a stunning cross from the right. It’s right onto Soucek’s head. Soucek can’t miss, and plants his header into the top left. That was almost impossible to defend. What a ball from Bowen! What a start from West Ham!
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8 min: That’s Antonio’s seventh goal since the restart. Watford try to respond positively, Kiko winning a corner down the right, but West Ham clear easily, and Cleverley ends up getting booked for dragging down Bowen and accidentally kicking him in the face. Dangerous play.
GOAL! West Ham United 1-0 Watford (Antonio 6)
It’s that man again! Fornals attempts to release Antonio into the box down the middle. The ball deflects off Kabasele and bounces left. Antonio follows it and swivels, firing a confident low drive across Foster and in.
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4 min: Deeney and Sarr combine at great speed down the left. Sarr slips the ball inside for Welbeck, but he’s given his team-mate too much to do, and Cresswell comes across to mop up. West Ham looked dangerously light at the back there.
3 min: But Antonio will be fairly confident too, on account of the four goals he plundered the other day against Norwich. What a performance that was. He tears past Kabasele on the left, reaching the byline and dribbling into the box, but takes a careless touch to send the ball out for a goal kick.
2 min: Watford stroke it around the back a bit. They’ve started confidently.
13 seconds: Sarr nearly gets on the end of a long ball down the middle. Clear in the box, he can’t control and it flies out for a goal kick. What a start that would have been!
Watford get the ball rolling ... but only after the players take a knee of solidarity. Black lives matter.
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The teams are out! Both sport their first-choice clobber, West Ham in claret and blue, Watford in yellow and black. We’ll be off in a minute!
Congratulations to Leeds United, by the way. Their promotion to the Premier League has just been confirmed by Huddersfield’s 2-1 win over West Bromwich Albion. That result also leaves the door open for third-placed Brentford, who haven’t been a top-flight force since their glory days in the 1930s. Anyway, the Fiver’s out of date now already. Bah.
This pressure, then. A win tonight, for either team, won’t be enough to guarantee Premier League status next season. But it should all but secure it. West Ham and Watford are both on 34 points, three ahead of Bournemouth and Aston Villa, who have played a game more and have significantly worse goal differences. Victory would certainly settle some rattling nerves, because the final two games see the Hammers play Manchester United (a) and Aston Villa (h), while Watford face Manchester City (h) and Arsenal (a). No gimmes there. For the record, Bournemouth’s final matches are Southampton (h) and Everton (a), Villa’s Arsenal (h) and West Ham (a). Predictions are a mug’s game, though there’s nearly always one twist in the tail.
David Moyes speaks to Sky. “We’ve had some good games, some that aren’t quite as good. Both teams know exactly what they’re playing for, and we know any of us can win it. We’d like to get three points if we can, but I’m sure Watford will think the exact same thing.”
Nigel Pearson adds. “If the focus was on what is at stake, the players would be under even more pressure. What’s important tonight is that we recognise that it’s an opportunity to put more pressure on the teams below us. West Ham are in exactly the same situation. So yes it’s a big game but players still have to be able to perform. We’re going to make sure our preparation is right and the players will be free enough to go and play. Lots at stake, but it’s one game! Tonight’s the big game, because we’re playing today.”
Of the pair, Moyes was spikier, perhaps even a little bit on edge, becoming irritated with persistent questions about what sort of game might unfold. Pearson was by contrast measured and calm, with a glint in the eye and a knowing smile. But that could mean nothing. Maybe he’s just better at poker.
Both teams will take encouragement from recent meetings. West Ham have won the last two games comfortably, 3-1 back in August, 4-1 last May. But those matches were both at Vicarage Road. The last time they met at the London Stadium, Watford ran out 2-0 winners.
Both teams are coming off the back of wins - West Ham 4-0 at Norwich, Watford 2-1 over Newcastle - so there’s only one change apiece. West Ham replace Ryan Fredericks at right back with 20-year-old Ben Johnson, while Watford switch midfielders Etienne Capoue with Tom Cleverley.
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The teams
West Ham United: Fabianski, Johnson, Diop, Ogbonna, Cresswell, Rice, Soucek, Bowen, Noble, Fornals, Antonio.
Subs: Balbuena, Yarmolenko, Felipe Anderson, Lanzini, Wilshere, Haller, Masuaku, Randolph, Coventry.
Watford: Foster, Femenia, Dawson, Kabasele, Masina, Cleverley, Hughes, Sarr, Doucoure, Welbeck, Deeney.
Subs: Gomes, Mariappa, Chalobah, Cathcart, Joao Pedro, Gray, Quina, Pussetto, Pereyra.
Referee: Martin Atkinson (W Yorkshire).
Preamble
It’s 16th versus 17th, with 18th and 19th still within striking distance, a proper relegation six-pointer. There’s really no need to elaborate any further, it’d be putting a hat on a hat. It’s on!
Kick off: 8pm BST.
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