Match report
Anyhow, there we go - thanks all for your company and comments. Bye.
Updated
Most of the post-match noise will pertain to West Ham, who were dustbins and sewers, but Southampton were brilliant this afternoon. 7/10 or better throughout the side, Claude Puel’s midfield diamond drew the maximum from their qualities, both individual and collective.
West Ham, though, were dustbins and sewers. With Lanzini not yet back to his best they lacked any invention in midfield and had no goal threat up front - fair enough in a way, given the players still missing. But what is far from fair enough was their ability to muster requisite intensity only once they were 2-0-down and the game was gone. That reflects badly on them and badly on Slaven Bilic.
Updated
Full-time: West Ham United 0-3 Southampton
There are boos.
Updated
90+3 min People are going home.
GOAL! West Ham United 0-3 Southampton 3 (Ward-Prowse, 90+2)
And West Ham’s misery is complete. Redmond, another Saint who has had a good day, stretches down the left and cuts back another cut-back into the path of Steven Davis, causing himself a mischief so zealously is he bursting forwards. His first touch is heavy but takes him past the various defenders in the box and to the line; he cuts back another cut-back, which Ogbonna can only divert into the path of Ward-Prowse, who finishes competently.
Updated
90+1 min “Boos” does not look like a word; is too scruffy to be a word. How apt.
90 min There shall be four added minutes. Expect boos thereafter.
Updated
90 min Payet is booked, presumably for mouth.
90 min Davie Provan gives man-of-the-match to Charlie Austin, which is fair - though there were other contenders: Bertrand, Redmond, Romeu and Tadic have all done very well. I’d have gone for Tadic, he’ll be distraught to discover.
Updated
89 min Final change for Southampton: Martina replaces Cedric.
87 min Lovely again from Southampton, Romeu into Long, whose flick plays Hojbjerg in. He’s at the right of the six-yard box and has a man square, but goes for goal and sees his shot scoosh just wide.
86 min West Ham are pushing but Southampton look as likely to score, Soares, who has been excellent, racing forwards and finding Ward-Prowse. He clumps a shot towards the near post, which Adrian saves well.
Updated
84 min Tony Cowards has had a bash at resolving the Don’t You Want Me debacle, and here it is!
“You were playing for the Palace at Selhurst Park
When we bought you
We picked you out, shook you up and paid a million pounds,
Turned you into someone new
Now six years later on you’ve got the ball at your feet,
Success has been so easy for you
But don’t forget it’s Saints who put you where you are now
And we can put you back down too
Jose, Jose Font-ay
You know we can’t believe it when you make defending easy
Jose, Jose Font-ay
You know we don’t believe it when they say that we don’t need you
It’s always great to find
You’re captaining the side
We’d better win again or we will all be sorry
Jose Font-ay baby
Jose Font-ay, oooh
Jose Font-ay, baby
Jose Font-ay, oooh.”
I’m sure we can improve it yet further by sneaking in a rhyme involving Pardoo.
83 min Slightly prior to that shot, Long skated past Arbeloa on the left touchline and was duly hacked; Arbeloa was duly booked.
82 min Redmond has done really well today, and he twinkles down the left again, his cut-back eventually arriving at the feet of Davis, who canes a shot just wide.
Updated
80 min Ward-Prowse comes on for Tadic who has been superb, central to more or less of Southampton’s best moments.
Updated
79 min Long and Tadic break, the former doing really well to hang onto the ball upon realising that the latter is offside. And then he slots it through, but Tadic can’t quite the find the perfect touch required.
78 min Why could West Ham not show this fire at 0-0? Antonio again powers down the right and overhits a cross beyond the back post - you might call it Antonio Country - and Payet does superbly to catch up and knock it back across the face of goal. Forster pushes it away and Zaza is there to pounce, but can’t quite find the angle to shoot with 420 men in the box, so his effort is blocked.
Updated
77 min “You made a rather serious accusation in your 11 min entry,” emails JR. “In order to defend his and his family’s dignity I felt the need to put on record that Mark Noble is actually not wearing gloves. He just has a Vardy-like brace on his left wrist.”
My sincerest apologies to all concerned at this difficult time.
75 min Long replaces Austin. Suddenly, this is frantic.
Updated
74 min West Ham have woken up! Antonio bundles down the right and clips back for Payet, arriving onto the ball perfectly just on the edge of the box. He’s aiming for the near post corner, and if it’s on target, it’s in - the keeper is nowhere near. But, with great style and leisurely body language, he guides just wide.
Updated
72 min Consternation! Payet bounces in from the left and eludes Soares, setting himself for a thumper that Van Dijk blocks. But the ball rebounds to Kouyate, who shoots low and hard, the effort blocked by Bertrand, diving across it and taking one on the hand. There are pleadings and exhortations for a penalty, but Bertrand was looking the other way, even if his arms weren’t by his side.
Updated
71 min Second change for West Ham: Fletcher replaces Nordveit.
70 min Southampton tear forward again, Hojbjerg and Tadic combining to send Davis careering into the box. But he delays his shot by a fraction to make sure and Nordveit slides in front to block.
69 min Noble drills a great switch out to Payet on the left, but Soares does really well to get back at him to concede a corner. And this one is much better than Payet’s previous efforts, finding Reid at the back post - but he can only head wide.
Updated
68 min Feghouli volleys a flick into space on the right touchline and Van Dijk charges across to knock him over. He’s booked, but the free-kick comes to nowt.
67 min “Stick a roller coaster-style over-the-shoulders restraint on every seat, and have a spotty 17-year-old kid strap everyone in before kick off,” recommends Matt Dony. “No more standing. Thank you. I’ll have my money now, please, Gollivan.”
65 min Just as after the first goal, Southampton step it up, and Redmond finds space on the left of the box. He cuts back for Davis, who has a sight of goal, but can only slam over the top.
GOAL! West Ham United 0-2 Southampton (Tadic 62)
This is a beautifully understated goal; if it was a track on OK Computer, as all goals are, it would be Let Down. Consecutively, Reid and Kouyate are hustled out of possession by Davis and when the ball runs loose to Redmond in centrefield, he knocks it out wide for Austin. Austin then directs a first time pass into the middle, where Tadic is advancing unaccompanied, and he makes to shoot as it runs across him, sitting Adrian down in the process before slotting home with ease. West Ham are in big trouble.
Updated
61 min “Given Southampton’s penchant for selling players,” emails Gary Naylor, ‘Don’t You Want Me?’ seems an apposite choice for a club song.”
Oooooooooh.
59 min Kouyate lanks around the right and from the by-line cuts back for Zaza, who reaches the ball ahead of Romeu. Expecting the foot left in to remain, Zaza goes down, but at the last second, it is withdrawn. There are yelps for a penalty nonetheless, but the ref is correct in waving them away and Zaza is booked for his protestations.
Updated
57 min Fonte hands off Payet, who collapses with a squawk, but Jon Moss plays advantage and Antonio wiggles his buttocks across the face of the box and Fonte is late - free-kick, 25 yards out and just beyond the left corner of the box ... but Payet’s cross is headed clear. Though he addresses a dead ball as well as anyone I’ve ever seen, today has not been a good day.
56 min How do West Ham get back into this? Maybe they can move Payet infield, because he’s barely seen the ball on the wing.
55 min Noble, who has been anonymous today, slides into Hojbjerg in centrefield - it looks a right sair yin, and he’s booked.
52 min And Southampton nearly double their advantage! Cedric feeds into Tadic and keeps going, taking the return backheel in stride, skinning Antonio and sashaying into the box. Various men are waiting for his cross but he picks Tadic with a cut-back - it looks a certain goal - and he connects well enough with a side-footer, aimed for the near post as Adrian’s weight shifts the other way. But the keeper does brilliantly to redirect himself, getting a strong arm to the ball, and his defenders recover to block Redmond’s follow-up.
50 min West Ham are really struggling. There’s a lack of drive and invention, but also a lack of belief and conviction, the kind of thing it’s hard to see returning until it does.
49 min Seffta emails with chant news: “The Saints fans’ version is ‘Jose Fonte baby’ x4, from back in our League 1 days when he was a new recruit and we thought his name was pronounced Font-ay instead of Font.”
This one needs a verse, surely?
47 min Bertrand is up brilliantly to beat Kouyate to a header; Kouyate goes down and has treatment for a bash to the coupon.
47 min Feghouli is on the right, with Antonio switched to the left.
46 min And off we go again.
Change for West Ham: Feghouli is on, which is no surprise; Lanzini is off, which is a mild surprise.
“The away end is standing up in what looks like its entirety. Everyone seems to be having fun,” emails Kevin Porter, quoting me back to myself. “I’ll tell you who won’t be - the elderly and ill who are unable to stand for ninety minutes. The short of stature and the children who can’t see a thing despite paying the same price for their ticket as the hale and hearty youths who consider that their predilection for standing overrides any responsibility for them to take into account the right of any other spectator to actually see the match.”
I’m not certain about this. For what it’s worth, in the group I go with, the older chaps - and we’re talking late 70s - don’t find it a problem. Nor is it certain that the needs of the many should bow to those of the few - but again, safe standing would sort most of this.
Updated
Half-time email: “Something about the combination of the unfamiliar Southampton kit, the curved shape of the stand and the bright patch of sunlight makes it feel like watching a game from some unfamiliar league in a more sunkissed country, emails Kari Tulinius. “Mind you, everyone would be standing there.”
Yes, the shape does hark back to some of the monstrosities built for the last World Cup. I’ve not the slightest idea why they did such a thing. On which point, I was assured yesterday that the stands in Spurs’ new ground, for that is what it will be, will be steeply banked.
Half-time diversion: old West Ham.
West Ham don’t quite have the balance. They’ve an extra man in midfield but are still ceding possession, and aren’t attacking in sufficient numbers to create much. Southampton, on the other hand, will have seen that half go more or less exactly as they wanted it and will be excited for the home side to commit more men forward.
Half-time: West Ham United 0-1 Southampton
A smattering of boos sends the teams on their way.
Updated
45 min There shall be a single, solitary added minute.
45 min West Ham are rocking here, Hojbjerg sliding a ball wide for Tadic, who slides another ball between Arbeloa and Reid for Soares. Again, though, he’s not got much angle to work with and slices his shot wide of the near post.
44 min Lovely ball clipped over the top by Soares and Redmond does superbly to watchit onto his foot and move into a shooting position. But the flight has taken him wide, so, though he drills low and hard, Adrian saves with his foot easily enough.
41 min Southampton deserve that goal because they scored it, but they have also been the better side so far. West Ham need to find something.
GOAL! West Ham United 0-1 Southampton (Austin, 40)
Austin does it again and what a lovely goal this is! Steven Davis prompts at left-midfield, knocking into Redmond and receiving it back before finding Tadic out wide, who turns and rolls into the path of Bertrand as Antonio switches off. Bertrand looks up, looks up again, and cuts back perfectly for Austin, who sweeps into the far bottom corner.
Updated
38 min One of the two sets of fans is singing a song to Don’t You Want Me. Might someone furnish us with the lyrics, by any chance? there cannot be many tunes more likely to elicit a smile, a head-nodding and a change of mood.
Updated
36 min Geoff Hurst is in the house, and apparently he scored a hat-trick in the World Cup final, or something. He’s sitting down.
34 min Kouyate gets away down the right and his low cross is aimed at no one, principally because no one is thrre, but Van Dijk is taking no chances and slides it out for a corner. Payet duly trots over to take and Zaza gets a great flick at the near post, after which the ball plays a defener, moves closer to goal, and only narrowly avoids Antonio, delayed at immigration when arriving into his own damn country.
32 min “The problem is that at Upton Park, the areas where everyone stood were obvious,” emails Matthew Grant. “If you wanted to sit, you didn’t buy a ticket there – in fact, it was very hard to buy a ticket in these areas. The people who want to stand have been spread throughout the new stadium, and there are so many tickets now that people can buy in areas (behind the goal, say) that they are going to struggle to view the action in. The issue will be gradually solved as those who want to stand or sit will move when they renew tickets – but there is no quick fix. Licensing requires WHUFC to make everyone sit, whereas the quickest way to sort the issue would be to say ‘Psst. If you want to stand, get tickets for here, here and here’. ‘Oi! If you want to sit, buy tickets for there, there, and there’. But they can’t do that.”
Yes, agreed, we spoke about that below - it’s quite an oversight, really, as they could just have moved people in blocks (surely they did?) and called it a “popular are” or a “singing section.
But the problem isn’t limited to West Ham, they just appear to have the most zealous enforcement.
31 min Southampton win a corner down the left, and two arms go up. The ball is delivered to around the edge of the six-yard box and Adrian comes, getting nowhere near it - but Reid arrives before Van Dijk and heads away.
30 min I wonder if Slaven Bilic might shove another man up front. To play up on your own, you need to be special, and Zaza, though he can play, is not. At the moment, West Ham are struggling to get anything going.
27 min A quiet period.
25 min Zaza is toiling well up front, and as he pursues a bouncing ball, Romeu comes over to make him fall over. Jon Moss gives a free-kick, and treats Van Dijk and Fonte to a brief lecture. So, Payet swings in another one, this time from a central position, and it takes Southampton a whole to get it clear, which rouses the home support.
Updated
24 min Arbeloa and Lanzini exchange passes nicely down the left, before the former slides it directly to Soares for no reason.
22 min West Ham can’t get out at the moment, though Southampton aren’t doing much more than pin them back. And then they do, Kouyate skirting around Romeu down the right; Romeu cuts him off at the back leg, and a goalkick is awarded.
21 min This Southampton away kit is not so pleasant, in an understated way. Black, skin-tight, and with unnecessary, inexplicable grey bits; why?
19 min Southampton are dominating possession now, and Davis slides down the left for Betrand, who crosses nicely. The ball hits the turf in front of Reid and skips up at him - he does well to snaffle it clear.
18 min The away end is standing up in what looks like its entirety. Everyone seems to be having fun.
16 min Reid hits long and Antonio, not quite in Antonio country, heads down for Zaza. Fonte and he jostle for the loose ball as Soares comes over and steps across the pair of them. Zaza decides to fall over, and there are affronted calls for a penalty, but the ref is having no such thing/.
Updated
15 min A brutal foul on Tadic by Nordveit, knee jammed into coccyx, gives Southampton a free-kick 45 yards out. Tadic duly curls his kick into Adrian’s arms.
Updated
14 min There’s a decent pace to this game, West Ham looking to play fast and Southampton looking to break fast. Not quite so much quality yet, though.
12 min: Public service announcement (2): we have a new entity to add to football’s map alongside David Beckham territory, the mixer, and all the rest: Michail Antonio Country, to be found somewhere close to the back post (c) Martin Tyler
11 min Public service announcement: Mark Noble is wearing short sleeves and gloves.
9 min Lanzini, he of Erinsbrough Italian restaurant fame, flicks over his and Hojbjerg’s head, chasing down the line. But of this, Hojbjerg is having none, flying into a brutal hack that earns him a yellow card.
8 min Good break from Southampton, Austin clipping into space for Bertrand down the left, deep inside the West Ham half. And he looked up to cut back for Hojbjerg, arriving on the edge of the box. He had plenty of time, too, but opted instead to take a touch instead of lining up and introducing laces right away, which game Reid and Ogobnna time to block.
Updated
7 min West Ham win a free-kick 40 yards from goal, just right of centre, and Payet is there, whipping into the middle seeking Antonio. But Van Dijk is up early to head away.
5 min “Standing is all very fine and I prefer it,” emails Martin Peters, “but if someone has paid for a seat surely they have the right to use it for most of a game without having to stand, save those moments when everyone’s craning their necks forward at a corner or scoring chance.”
Part of the problem at West Ham, I believe, is there aren’t areas of the ground in which everyone stands, like the corner next to the away end at Upton Park. But people have different desires and expectations that should be catered for, rather than some deemed necessarily in the wrong.
Updated
3 min There’s a decent row in the ground for now, but the question is for how long it’ll persist if things don’t go well. In the meantime, Ogbonna curves a lovely high pass of the top for Zaza, which he takes it down well on his chest. 25 yards out, he sets himself for a shot as Van Dijk nashes across, and hits it with his instep, so without the power to beat Forster.
Updated
2 min Southampton stroke the ball around patiently, directed by Virgil van Dijk. What a signing he was.
1 min We’re away!
Anyway, the teams are with us; there are bubbles.
Updated
“West Ham still rapidly depleting the global reserves of schadenfreude” tweets Alix Sharkey.
I’ve no idea what you mean! They won the World Cup!
If I hadn’t lost my weekend pennies on Crolla and Thiago Santos were a betting man, I’d be covering below 2.5 goals here. Oh, lucky us!
“Nevermind West Ham’s current woes with the stadium and their poor form,” emails Mark Reid. “Can we please talk about Arbeloa’s personalised shinpads? Is this a thing these days?! And who are those masked characters? Perhaps he’s a fan of secretive rapper MF Doom.”
The personal touch #COYI pic.twitter.com/63f4GOlOg4
— West Ham United (@WestHamUtd) September 25, 2016
Oh my; game’s gone. I mean, what sort of jessie wears shinguards?
Back on standing, here’s Gary Naylor again: “My son and I were ‘forced’ to stand in the away section at Selhurst Park in April. No woman can see past me at 6”1 and Jesper at 6”4.
Of course racism is not equivalent to standing, but the same tactics can be used to deal with the problem.
The seats are plastic and shaped differently these days and not so easy for kids to stand on (except in Goodison’s ancient Bullens Road stand).
I’m not calling for banning orders, but ejection from the game in progress. Once it happens to a few, the rest will get the message.”
I really don’t see that working - my own experience in Manchester United away ends is that you’d have to bin every single person in it. Perhaps you could make away end seating unreserved - again, my experience is that people go where they like anyway, which is one reason the atmosphere is so good, as it means mates are all together. And that way, people who want to sit could go at the front.
But in the end, we’re back to the same point: there’s no reason not to allow people to stand in designated standing areas.
What a world.
Parents of U10s please refrain from foul language during the game. Referee Mr Benn is doing his best. I highly doubt he is a 'massive nonce'
— Heybridge Gardens FC (@HeybridgeFC) September 24, 2016
And talking of Mark Noble, here he is talking, and here’s Jacob Steinberg writing.
Talking of West Ham, this is what it’s all about.
On which point, here’s Gary Naylor:
“I didn’t much care for this stadium when I was there for the Paralympics and I have no time for the West Ham hierarchy, but this issue about fans standing needs to be called out. Given the choice, I would choose to stand in safe standing areas (I used to swap a grandstand ticket for a terrace ticket at away games in the 80s) but I won’t stand in seated areas, because I won’t align myself with men (always men in my experience) who bully women, children and those less able to be on their feet for 90 minutes.
Of course, it only takes a few at the front to stand and then we all have to, so the problem looks bigger than it is - but the solution is more straightforward too. Warn those standing to sit down and if they stand again, eject them from the ground. Firm stewarding, CCTV and (most of all) a will to eradicate it, has more or less banished racist chanting from football grounds - the same tactics should apply to standing in seated areas. And it will once someone is seriously injured.”
I can’t agree with all of this, I’m afraid. In the first instance, it’s not one or the other: most standing doesn’t cause too much aggravation to the others around, in my experience. And, as I child, I stood on my chair and generally considered it part of the fun. I also find women to be generally capable of standing, though of course there is a problem with those who cannot, even if we must acknowledge that they are in the minority.
So, I absolutely disagree that people who stand in seated areas should be hoofed out, and am generally loth to endorse anything that allows clubs to continue ridding their clubs of people they’ve decided they no longer need; West Ham’s use of “customers” is telling. Nor do I feel comfortable treating persistent standing in the same way as we treated racism, though you are right to note that sometimes people can get too aggressive; in experience, it is as much those who want to sit as those who want to stand.
None of which is to say that you’re wrong in identifying a problem, though luckily, the answer is simple: safe standing.
Updated
As per the preamble:
Instruction to #WHUSOU stewards: "Persistent standing will be discouraged & in the 1st instance steward will ask customers to be seated' 1/2
— Henry Winter (@henrywinter) September 25, 2016
"persistent offenders will be ejected if appropriate and the details of their seat recorded. CCTV will be used to record such matters." 2/2
— Henry Winter (@henrywinter) September 25, 2016
#WHUSOU stewards told to pay "close attention" to "standing on the back of the West Stand Lower - this blocks the view of those in VIP areas
— Henry Winter (@henrywinter) September 25, 2016
Where to start.
Follow today’s Snapchat story at westham ⚒ #COYI #WHUSOU pic.twitter.com/b65M3N8cf8
— West Ham United (@WestHamUtd) September 25, 2016
So, two changes apiece: for your West Hams, Reid is in for Collins and Arbeloa replaces the injured Masuaku; your Southamptons leave out Clasie and Long, with Hojbjerg and Austin getting the start.
Ruff riders and slip sliders
West Ham United (4-1-4-Zaza): Adrian; Nordveit, Ogobnna, Reid, Arbeloa; Noble; Antonio, Kouyate, Lanzini, Payet; Zaza.
Subs: Randolph, Byram, Obiang, Oxford, Fernandez, Feghouli, Fletcher.
Southampton (4-4-2 diamond): Forster; Soares, Van Dijk, Fonte, Bertrand; Romeu, Hojbjerg, Davis, Tadic; Redmond, Austin.
Subs: McCarthy, Yoshida, Clasie, Long, Martina, Ward-Pwose, Hesketh.
Rolling stone: Jonathan Moss
Updated
Preamble
Moving is a pain in the arse. Not as acute a pain in arse as is used to justify the tedious patter, prolonged whinging and laughable rage that inevitably come with it, but a pain in the arse nonetheless.
But even when it’s all over, when boxes are empty and shelves are full of accumulated tat, it takes more to turn a house into a home. Homes are defined by love and fury, celebration and disappointment, memories and blackouts – and those only come with time.
So it’s not entirely surprising that West Ham have struggled at the, er, “London Stadium”. They needed late goals to see off Bournemouth and Accrington Stanley and lost to Astra Giurgiu and Watford, while supporters have also been taken time to, er, “settle in”. For all the branding and grandstanding, hype and hyperbole, they’re still rattling around an athletics venue that has very little to do with them.
The might have coped with upheaval were it for not some appalling luck with injuries. Diafra Sakho, Andy Carroll and Andre Ayew are all missing, Winston Reid has been absent too, and the squad no longer has a fit left-back – enough to unsettle any team. But, even so, three points from five games reflects neither the quality of West Ham’s players nor the quality of their manager, and all concerned must advise themselves immediately.
Southampton, meanwhile, are improving. After a dicky start, they pushed Arsenal all the way and walloped Sparta Prague, before beating Swansea and Crystal Palace; Ronald Koeman and Sadio Mané may have left, but the rest of the players know what to do. They are far from the team West Ham would’ve picked to face this afternoon, but then who isn’t?
Kick-off: 4pm BST
Updated
