Here’s the match report from Jacob Steinberg at the London Stadium. Read all about it!
And with that, I’m gone. It’s been forgettable. Bye!
David Moyes has a post-match chat, and sounds a little pre-exitish to me. Is he happy with that point?
Very much so, if you get a point against Manchester United it’s always a good result. The attitude of the players was fantastic and they want about their job really well tonight. I’d have been happy to take the point. If we can win it, great, but a point would be a good result for us. The players went about it really well. Their attitude, their commitment throughout the game was great. We’re trying to move up the league if we can. I don’t know if it moves us, but it’s one extra point.
How big an achievement is it to have kept the club up?
It’s a big achievement for us. It’s been a tough job but a really good job. I’ve really enjoyed it. The players have worked hard. We had to get them in order and playing a bit better, and I think overall across the piece we’ve done that.
Chris Smalling talks. He’s asked if getting a point tonight was a success:
I think it is. Going into the game we knew second spot was ours for the taking. Tonight was the opportunity, with a game to spare. We’ve played [a back three] a few times this year, but not for a little while. I think it shows we can play both formations. If we show we can play a few formations, it’s up our sleeve. I’m comfortable with three or four.
Would a Cup victory make this a successful season?
If you do it makes it a very good season. We finished second, we’d have liked to win it but there’s progress, and if we can win the Cup final it would make it a very good season.
Not necessarily a damning statistic – defences are important and stuff – but it is also illustrative.
19 - Since Sir Alex Ferguson retired at the end of the 2012-13 season, no Premier League team has drawn more matches nil-nil than Manchester United (19, level with Southampton). Dull.
— OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) May 10, 2018
That was David De Gea’s 18th clean sheet of the season. Apparently this means he wins his first Cadbury’s Golden Gloves Award. This award has existed for 13 years, and I’ve only just realised.
There were some shots in that game, but no proper actual goalscoring chances at all.
So Manchester United will finish the season in second place. So that’s something.
Final score: West Ham 0-0 Manchester United
90+4 mins: It’s a draw!
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90+3 mins: United have brought on Eric Bailly, who replaces Valencia.
90+3 mins: Manchester United, timewasting in a bid to take a point from a dreary game at West Ham, want to make another substitution.
90+2 mins: Ashley Young comes on for Sánchez.
90+1 mins: Lanzini shoots, but it’s both high and wide. The referee wants three minutes of stoppage time.
90 mins: Now Lindelof takes out Carroll, and West Ham have a free kick 10 yards outside the penalty area.
90 mins: Pogba dealt with Noble’s aggression pretty well, to be fair. The incident could have been worse.
88 mins: Eventually Pogba is booked, for an exceedingly cynical trip on Noble. Noble’s reaction was furious, and involved grabbing Pogba’s face and chest-bumping him aggressively. He too is booked.
87 mins: Handbags! Pogba and Noble square up in midfield, and suddenly everyone’s involved!
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86 mins: An ugly coming-together between Pogba and Carroll near the half-way line, in which Carroll shoved Pogba and Pogba, from the floor, raised a leg to bring down Carroll. The referee decided it was a West Ham free kick.
85 mins: It was, Adam Roberts informs me, Paul Pogba who had the shot from the halfway line. I should have guessed.
84 mins: Arnautovic, who is everything and everywhere for West Ham, collects the ball, shields it well and lays back to Noble, who blasts a 30-yarder way high.
82 mins: Arnautovic is released down the left again, and this time he checks back and lifts a cross towards Carroll. It’s nearly perfect, but Jones stretches his neck muscles to flick it away. Carroll picks it up, but his cross goes over Arnautovic and drops to a defender, with no other West Ham player much interested in joining the attack.
80 mins: Chance for West Ham! Noble lifts the ball over the United defence, and Arnautovic runs onto it and, from out to the left of goal, flings his left foot at it as it drops. It would, had the volley flown in, have been a superb goal. It didn’t.
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79 mins: United pass it around the box for an age, with no apparent idea how to get it inside the box. Eventually they just give it away.
77 mins: The brief swell of excitement that followed Carroll’s introduction has quietened, as United control possession.
74 mins: Lingard is coming off, and Rashford coming on.
73 mins: Pogba and Kouyaté compete for a header in midfield, and the West Ham player lands badly and stays down. He is receiving treatment.
73 mins: Marcus Rashford is about to come on.
71 mins: Moments later Pogba, from the corner of the area, curls a shot towards the far post, but it doesn’t quite curl enough.
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70 mins: A shot from the halfway line! I’m not sure which United player took it, and for some reason the commentators didn’t even mention it took place, but I’m pretty sure it did. It went wide.
69 mins: Carroll’s arrival appears to have lifted West Ham, and their fans. Still no chances, though.
66 mins: West Ham make the night’s first substitution, bringing Andy Carroll on to help Arnautovic out a bit, and taking Masuaku off.
65 mins: United, pressing gently, win a corner. Smalling, beyond the far post, reaches it first but heads emphatically wide.
62 mins: Now Valencia crosses from the right, and Pogba heads wide at the far post.
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60 mins: Arnautovic is really troubling United, and as he runs into the area Jones slides in foolishly, and is extraordinarily lucky not to hit ankle. Arnautovic continues, spears the ball in, and Jones has somehow got back in time to get in the way.
56 mins: “I must take issue with Justin Kavanagh’s opinion that ‘They’ve become a dull, colourless team under [Jose]’,” writes Dan Lewis. “Manchester United were a dull colourless team under Moyes, became a somehow even duller and ever more devoid of colour team under Van Gaal, and Mourinho has certainly improved the quality of football from that low. Hard not to, you could argue, especially with the money available, but let’s not rewrite history here. Even Ferguson’s post-Ronaldo teams were rather drab.” This is undoubtedly true. This isn’t a particularly thrilling United side, but it’s a long way from Van Gaal levels of tedium.
55 mins: Lingard has yet another shot. It’s a decent good one, straight down the middle of goal but dipping nastily at pace as Adrián has to deal with it. He can’t catch it, but he can stop it rolling dangerously away from him, and he gathers in short order.
53 mins: I’m eating some grapes.
51 mins: The first half wasn’t the most inspiring, but if the TV microphones are anything to go by the fans kept their voices admirably loud throughout. Since half time, though, even they have given up.
48 mins: Sánchez is played in on the left side of the area, and dances past the advancing Adrián. But he’s out wide, and when he looks up only McTominay is in the area, so he tries an audacious crazy-angle curling shot, and fails.
48 mins: Lingard shoots into a defender’s shin, and then from the resulting corner crosses onto a defender’s head.
47 mins: Turkey-related point of information from Simon Gill: “It’s actually meatballs rather than kebabs, and the reference is pretty oblique, but yes, this Cemal feller is one happy boy tonight.”
46 mins: It’s on!
The players are back out! Yes they are!
Here’s a photograph of happy, excited players celebrating a great achievement, just in case we don’t have another opportunity to see such a thing tonight.
Exciting football update: “Huge upset in the Turkish Cup final, as tiny Akhisarspor beat giants Fenerbahce 3-2,” notes Kari Tulinius. “Before this Akhisarspor hasn’t won anything except for a solitary second division title a few years ago. This is like when Coventry won the FA Cup in 1987.” Here’s an excited person tweeting about it. Something to do with kebabs, I think (really).
Türkiye Kupası'nı kazanan Akhisarspor'u tebrik ediyorum. Danışmanım Akhisarlı. Gittik, gezdik.. Çok güzel bir yer. Akhisar Köfte'nin tadı hala damağımda 😀 Söz aldık, ilk seçimlerde belediyeyi de kazanacağız. Bu güzel kente kupa çok yakıştı. pic.twitter.com/ppaoG3OraX
— Cemal Okan Yüksel (@cemalokanyuksel) May 10, 2018
Half time: West Ham United 0-0 Manchester United
45+2 mins: It is goalless. It is half time. It can only get better. Unless it stays the same.
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45+1 mins: Save! Lingard’s shot is dipping towards the far corner, but Adrián dives to his left to push it away. Not a hard save, but a good-looking one.
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45+1 mins: Where the referee has got the one additional minute he’s decided to play from is beyond me.
45 mins: “How good has Smalling been this season?” enthuses Arthur Tee. “He is the one consistently played CB in, I think, the League’s best defence yet it appears Southgate thinks he isn’t good enough to go to the WC? Laughable.” It’s a game of opinions, innit?
@Simon_Burnton Is Smalling really going to Russia?
— Wilhelm Henderson (@HiredHelper) May 10, 2018
44 mins: Sánchez chips the ball into the area, Herrera flicks it on, and Pogba, having controlled it, seems astonished that the referee spotted his totally obvious handball.
43 mins: Sánchez loses control of the ball again and falls over again, and this time the referee takes pity on him. Nothing comes of it.
41 mins: Pogba’s 30-yarder is quite handsome, but whistles just wide of the near post.
40 mins: Pogba’s touch is overstrong and, stretching, he lands his foot on Ogbonna’s. Contact is brief and accidental, neither player makes much of it, and the referee doesn’t mind it.
39 mins: I’ve got to disagree with Gary Weightman, incidentally. It’s not that slow. It might even turn out OK. It is largely without purpose, but that happens at this time of year.
38 mins: It’s impossible at this stage to know who’s going to be happiest at the end of this game, but it almost certainly won’t be the neutrals who have been contractually obliged to watch it.
@Simon_Burnton this game is like football, except slower and without purpose #WHUMUN
— Gary Weightman (@ellan_vannin) May 10, 2018
36 mins: Arnautovic works space well against a leaden-footed Smalling on the right of United’s penalty area, and at the near post João Mario pokes his low cross wide.
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35 mins: Valencia finds himself in all sorts of space on the right, but wins only a corner. It’s cleared as far as Shaw, who rampages forward for a bit and then wellies the ball at goal, where Adrián catches it.
34 mins: Poor Alexis Sánchez isn’t being given any cheap free-kicks tonight, no matter how many times he falls over a moment after losing possession anyway. That’s got to be three or four attempts now.
32 mins: West Ham very nearly carve out an excellent chance, but then don’t.
31 mins: “I’m really looking forward to seeing Man United’s ‘player of the season’ Scott McTominay play today,” writes JR, as Cresswell’s shot bounces across goal and wide. “It’s two months to the day since his last league start. You’d think that Mourinho would play his ‘player of the season’ more often but who am I to judge. I’m sure Jose totally meant it. It’s not like him to spew a bunch of nonsensical, disingenuous garbage.”
McTominay isn’t United’s proper, official player of the season, he’s just Mourinho’s specially-chosen-for-no-obvious-reason player of the season. You would have thought that playing only 448 minutes (before tonight) of league action would disqualify a player from such baubles, but Mourinho is, after all, the special one, and thinks in special ways.
28 mins: Now Arnautovic drives into United’s area and spears a low ball across goal, but it’s cleared for a corner, from which Ogbonna deliberately unbalances Smalling. Free kick.
26 mins: The ball bounces off Zabaleta’s thigh and hits him in the arm. You could argue that it flew right into his hand from no distance at all, but you could also argue that he’s a professional footballer and should know where the ball’s going to go after it hits his thigh. Anyway, no penalty.
23 mins: United hit the post! Sánchez has the first chance, from Valencia’s pull-back, but his shot is too close to Adrián. It comes off the keeper to Shaw, whose first-time drive is diverted onto the meat of the post by the keeper’s leg!
21 mins: Now Lingard has a shot from outside the area, after cutting inside from the left flank to the middle of the pitch, but Adrián tips it wide, and the corner is cleared.
21 mins: A shot! West Ham lose the ball foolishly, not far from their own penalty area, and it runs to McTominay, who turns and thumps it towards – but a yard or so wide of – goal.
20 mins: Cameras catch Mourinho jotting notes on a pad on the touchline. He has surrounded his pad with drink bottles, the pad equivalent of hiding your mouth when you’re talking.
19 mins: “Manchester United should play in that anonymous grey kit for as long as Mourhino is mismanaging them,” rages Justin Kavanagh. “They’ve become a dull, colourless team under him, and unlike Sir Alex, who famously made them change shirts against Southhampton, he’ll probably insist that De Gea change into something a little less eye-catching at half time.”
16 mins: A couple of minutes ago Cresswell slid in to dispossess McTominay, whose poor touch had made a challenge inevitable. At the time it looked hard but clean, but replays show Cresswell, in his follow-through, land his studs on his opponent’s shin in potentially painful style. The referee waves play on, and McTominay survived apparently unscathed.
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14 mins: A ridiculous spell of lose-ball midway into West Ham’s half sees both sides win, lose, and accidentally bump into the ball in the space of a few seconds, before it rolls away from the melee and to Sánchez, whose pass nearly sets up a team-mate for a decent shooting chance. But doesn’t.
12 mins: West Ham cross from the left but straight to Smalling at the near post. He totally mishits the clearance and instead flicks it on, the ball bouncing off the top of his boot and to Arnautovic, eight yards out, who is a bit surprised by this development and heads over.
10 mins: Lingard is tripped by João Mario, and from the free kick Sánchez slides the ball to Herrera, central and 35 yards out, whose optimistic drive slams into a defender.
7 mins: A shot! Arnautovic collects the ball with his back to goal and three United players around him, but he spins, jinks, rids himself of all three of them and then shoots hard but straight at De Gea from 20 yards.
6 mins: Noble loses the ball to Pogba just outside United’s area and then wins it back again immediately, and West Ham are in a fine position, if only briefly. Lanzini then completely fails to control the ball, and loses it.
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5 mins: United have just almost attacked, the move petering out when Shaw, in a good position on the left from which to deliver a killer cross, slid the ball low across the edge of the area, where none of his team-mates lurked.
4 mins: United are wearing their lesser-spotted third shirt. It’s very grey.
3 mins: Approximately nothing has so far happened.
1 mins: And they’re off!
They’re out, they’ve completed the preambles, and the bubble machines are blowing bubbles.
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The players are in the tunnel! It seems unusually busy, with all sorts of random people with their phones out taking video of stuff.
Two years ago today:
The managers have done some talking! Here’s David Moyes:
There is no let up from the start. The further we get up the league the more money for the club, so we’ve got to try to win the games. At home we’ve always got a chance, and hopefully this evening we can show that. We passed the ball well on Sat, made quite a few openings. We didn’t make the most of all of them. Let’s hope we can take them tonight.
And here’s Jose Mourinho, who is asked what his intentions are with his team selection:
A point. We need a point. We have two matches for that, but hopefully we can do it today. Are we going to play for the point? No. We’re going to try to win. But we have a clear objective for these two matches, which is to finish second. And to finish second, we need a point.
So since they lost at Brighton on Friday Manchester United have jettisoned Rojo, Young, Darmian, Mata, Fellaini, Matic, Martial and Rashford, and brought in Lindelof, Jones, Valencia, Herrera, McTominay, Shaw, Lingard and Sanchez. That’s quite the turnaround.
The teams!
No changes for West Ham, eight – Eight! – for Manchester United.
West Ham: Adrian, Rice, Ogbonna, Cresswell, Zabaleta, Kouyate, Noble, Masuaku, Joao Mario, Lanzini, Arnautovic. Subs: Carroll, Hugill, Obiang, Hart, Evra, Fernandes, Cullen.
Man Utd: De Gea, Lindelof, Smalling, Jones, Valencia, Herrera, McTominay, Shaw, Lingard, Sanchez, Pogba. Subs: Bailly, Mata, Martial, Blind, Young, Rashford, Romero.
Referee: Jonathan Moss.
We're unchanged, with Hart back in the squad after recovering from illness. pic.twitter.com/Bz6khYpD9X
— West Ham United (@WestHamUtd) May 10, 2018
8⃣ changes to tonight's #MUFC starting XI... #WHUMUN pic.twitter.com/ztLylXt6At
— Manchester United (@ManUtd) May 10, 2018
Hello world!
Well, what is there to say about this game?
No really, what?
OK then, be like that. Manchester United will certainly finish second if they don’t lose, but may end up third if they do – though only if they then also flop at home on the final afternoon to Watford, who have basically been on holiday since November, have scored one away goal this calendar year and have won one away point since the end of November. Which they won’t. Still, that’s one thing.
Meanwhile there are already four teams knotted together on 41 points going into their final games of the season, and should West Ham win tonight they will join them. This will lead to some mid-tabley excitement on Sunday – with Brighton on 40 points teams in this zone, covering 10th to 15th place, will essentially form a six-team one-day-only mini-league with nothing at stake but a bit of status and a lot of cash. The team finishing top of this six-team microdivision will earn some £10m more than whoever ends up last. Given that Watford are one of the teams on 41 points, if Manchester United play terribly today and brilliantly on Sunday, they will earn West Ham at least £2m, and possibly considerably more.
So, plenty to play for, eh? Huzzah!
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