And with that, it’s goodnight from me. Take care of yourselves, and each other.
Updated
“I’ve seen City score nine times in two games,” writes Ian Sargeant, presumably a West Ham fan. “We have scored nine goals at home since October.”
Well, that was special. City actually played better than they did in the FA Cup 5-0 a few weeks ago, despite not bagging as many. Guardiola will presumably be delighted, at the first-half performance especially. It was basically everything he’s been looking for, from the good passing at the back to the relentless chasing and rapid skills up top. That front three of Sterling, Sane and Jesus already looks absolutely sensational, and could get better.
Updated
Full-time: West Ham 0-4 Manchester City
Peeeeeeeeeeep.
90 mins + 5: Last knockings. The game’s basically been dead since the 39th minute, but this has been truly excellent from City.
90 mins +3: ...which strikes Kolarov on the arm and goes behind for a corner. Certainly looked like there was a little movement from that arm towards the ball, but ref Kevin Friend says no dice.
Updated
90 mins + 2: Bit of ‘stable door, bolted horse’ nice football from West Ham ends when Fernandinho barges Lanzini over on the edge of the area. Here’s Snodgrass to take the free-kick...
90 mins: Five minutes injury-time. Have a heart, ref.
88 mins: Noble is shoved over on the edge of the area, the referee plays advantage but when Lanzini loses the ball about two seconds later, he doesn’t give the foul. Weird.
87 mins: Delph tries to thread one through to Sane, but that one doesn’t quite come off. City have undoubtedly taken it easy a bit more in this second-half, but then again they didn’t need to do much else.
84 mins: Even bigger shout for another penalty from the West Ham fans, as Delph tackles Byram well and the ball pops up to strike Jesus on the arm. But he was about two yards away, and was ‘ball-to-hand’. No penner, again.
83 mins: Snodgrass goes down in the area under a challenge from Caballero, out on the left side of the area, but while the 17 remaining Hammers fans want the pen, the player himself wasn’t too fussed. Sorry for having a pop at those West Ham fans who’ve done one - I imagine this isn’t much fun.
82 mins: Brutal.
WH 0 City 4 This seems a good time to retweet yesterday's Racing Post. pic.twitter.com/ugK8wkhnlL
— Neil Henderson (@hendopolis) February 1, 2017
81 mins: Ball in the net for West Ham, and it’s class through-ball from Snodgrass and a ripping finish by Antonio, but the offside flag goes up.
79 mins: Pair o’ subs, one for each side. Carroll is replaced by Ashley Fletcher, which is probably a shrewd idea before he does something silly, while Fabian Delph is the man who comes on to give Silva a breather.
78 mins: City most certainly Harlem Globetrotting the game away now. On two or three occasions they could quite easily have taken a shot as they move towards the West Ham goal to the right of the area, but in trying to score a more perfect goal, they pass, and ultimately nothing comes of it.
75 mins: City were under a bit of pressure on the edge of their own area, but Fernandinho gets them out of it by pinging an absolutely absurd pass out to Sane on the right. This is basically the performance that Guardiola dreams about.
72 mins: Decent man to come off the bench, as Sergio Aguero replaces Sterling. The home fans who’ve bothered to stick around boo Sterling, for reasons unclear. Well, they’re not that unclear, but we won’t get into that now.
71 mins: Fernandinho is welcomed to the game by Carroll, running around like a truck with a brick on the accelerator but nobody behind the wheel, barging into his back. No booking that time, but he does get a yellow for a late challenge on Kolarov seconds later. Fair chance he’ll get sent off if he carries on like that. It’s born from frustration, but still.
69 mins: Imagine if Yaya Toure had only done what his agent told him to...
67 mins: And with that, the London Stadium begins to empty. Oh, and City have brought Fernandinho on for De Bruyne, just to shore things up...
GOAL! West Ham 0-4 Manchester City (Toure 67)
Randolph gets a hand to it, but that was a low and well-struck penalty.
Updated
Penalty to Manchester City!
De Bruyne places a wonderful pass down the right and Sterling races into the area, tries to cut back inside to make room for a shot but Fonte trips him. Sterling initially tries to stay on his feet, thinks better of it, and the ref points to the spot...
Updated
64 mins: And those subs for West Ham - the anonymous Feghouli and Obiang are withdrawn, on in their place are Edmilson Fernandes and Robert Snodgrass, making his debut.
63 mins: As is often the case in poor West Ham performances, Antonio is one of the few to show some proper gumption. He gets the ball inside his own half on the left, and races down the flank then infield, before his run is snuffed out by the City defence.
62 mins: After a fair bit of treatment Sane seems fine, but Reid’s limping a bit. Looks like he’s going to try running it off, but there are substitutions afoot for West Ham.
60 mins: Collision off the ball as Sane accidentally runs into the back of Reid, and both fall rather heavily to the ground.
59 mins: City wriggle themselves some space in the box, but Silva’s cutback aiming for Jesus is cut out and cleared. Sterling then goes into the book for taking down Carroll with a deliberate and rather naughty foul as West Ham try to counter.
58 mins: Feghouli - yes, he is playing - overhits a cross and while Cresswell tries to retrieve things, nowt comes of that one.
55 mins: City knock the ball around just for yucks. They’re in complete control. Cue West Ham goal...
52 mins: Sterling’s in one of his confident moods, which is good news. He pops over a decent cross but it’s just about cleared. He then shoots from the edge of the box but that one’s blocked. But good work nonetheless.
50 mins: Here come City again, predictably enough with Sane down the left, who whips over a brilliant low cross just behind the defence. Jesus gets a toe to it, but only a toe, and the chance is gone.
48 mins: First chance of the second-half comes from West Ham. Cresswell wipes out Sterling with one of those challenges that technically got the ball, but took out plenty more too. Antonio then breaks towards the box, feeds Carroll on the edge who shifts into enough space to thump a shot at goal, but it’s blocked well before Caballero has any work to do.
Updated
46 mins: Back at the Bongo Arena, we’re away for the second-half. West Ham have made no changes, Bilic taking the ‘you got us into this mess, you get us out of it’ approach.
Scores from elsewhere:
- Manchester United 0-0 Hull City
- Stoke City 1-1 Everton
Keep track of them, plus a few Championship games, some in Scotland and one apiece in League One and Italy, here.
Updated
Ian Copestake’s been on: “At least in the second half West Ham can call on Pay ... Ah.”
Too soon Ian, too soon.
Sorry about this. “A keeper with a huge reputation, which has disappeared in little more than half a season,” sets up Matt Dony, with a punchline that you can see from a mile off but can’t do anything to stop. “A case of Bravo to zero. Boom. I’m here all week. Try the jellied eels.”
Just looking at the replay of City’s first: it was of course a brilliant goal, but the man that went sprawling was Cresswell, and it looked an awful lot like he was chucked to the ground by Sterling. So perhaps they have a small claim to be hard done to there. Only a small one, mind.
In American sport, particularly college sport, it’s considered poor form to ‘run the score up’ - that is to keep blasting away and humiliating your opponent when the game is well won. Any chance, Pep?
Half-time: West Ham 0-3 Manchester City
Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
Updated
45 mins: Jesus is penalised for what looked like a fair challenge on Noble, but he needs to be careful having already been booked. From the cross, Stones clears but after he falls on the floor, Reid accidentally rakes his studs down the back of his head. There’s blood, but Stones should be OK with a bit of patching up.
Updated
44 mins: Yellow for De Bruyne, who rather cynically takes out Byram with the whiff of a counter-attack in the air.
42 mins: “Amazing what a change of goalie can do for a team,” muses Mark Judd. All about having confidence in the man between the sticks in this game.
40 mins: Cruel stuff from the telly director, who after Jesus scored cut straight to Aguero on the bench, who had a face like a slapped arse.
39 mins: More brilliance from City. Shortly before a pass from Jesus set Sterling away but De Bruyne scuffed his effort from the edge of the six-yard box. But no matter - seconds later Obiang is caught dawdling by the absolutely mustard Sane, he slips a brilliant pass through to Sterling who springs the offside trap and does the unselfish thing, squaring for Jesus who slides home his first goal for Manchester City. That’s eight for City at the Hammerdome in about 100 minutes of football.
GOAL! West Ham 0-3 Manchester City (Jesus 39)
Crikey.
Updated
36 mins: Woof. Antonio breaks into the area from the right side but Stones swoops across and puts in a Proper Tackle. One of those that was tough, looked great but had to be timed perfectly or else it was game over.
35 mins: Antonio Conte’s in the crowd, wearing some nice spectacles. Roberto Mancini is there too, but is glassesless.
32 mins: West Ham have a glorious chance to pull one back. Carroll scraps out on the right and spreads a glorious ball to Cresswell, who streaks into space vacated by Sagna tucking in too far. He’s through on goal, tries to put it over Caballero but in the end his shot almost went further vertically than horizontally. Giggles all round. Well, from those not supporting West Ham.
31 mins: What I was trying to say on minute 29, but better...
If West Ham had pressed with any purpose there, they'd have won the ball back. Instead, City joga bonita'd their way out from the back.
— David Preece (@davidpreece12) February 1, 2017
30 mins: Snodgrass is warming up already. Long night ahead for West Ham unless something changes, bigly.
29 mins: City are showboating already, which might be a bit premature. They ping some passes around the back with some abandon, lucky to get away with a couple, then De Bruyne tries a scooped pass when a more straightforward one might have sufficed.
27 mins: City having terrific fun here. Another attack that involves Jesus, Sane and Silva ends when Sterling - stumbling back a bit, not really able to get any power on it - puts a header wide at the back stick.
25 mins: Cannot overstate how terrific that work from Sane was just then. Made two decent defenders look like chumps of the first order.
Updated
24 mins: Otamendi barrels Antonio over and West Ham have a chance to strike back, a free-kick around 25 yards out. Noble smacks it straight into the wall and City counter, but that fun is cut off sharpish as Lanzini trips Silva. Booking for him.
21 mins: Silva provided the finishing touch, but that was all Sane. De Bruyne spreads the ball out to the young German, he megs Byram, skins Fonte and steers a cross into the six-yard box. That takes a flick off Randolph’s toe and falls to Silva, seven odd yards out and with an open goal to aim for. You know the rest. Brilliant work from Sane.
GOAL! West Ham 0-2 Manchester City (Silva 21)
City are looking even better than they did a few weeks ago, here.
Updated
20 mins: ...but he might as well not have bothered, ballooning the shot way, way, way over the bar. Jesus got a booking after that free-kick for waving the old imaginary yellow card. Think on young man.
19 mins: City attack again, and this time it’s Sterling who arrows towards goal, but he’s taken out by a clumsy challenge by Obiang on the edge of the box. Free-kick about 20 yards from goal, just to the right, Silva is eyeing it up...
17 mins: Smashing goal that. De Bruyne intercepts an errant pass just inside the West Ham half, he streaks towards goal, lays off a ball to the right to Jesus, who returns it smartly, and De Bruyne steers it home. Smashing. A West Ham player went sprawling off the ball, but could’ve just been a harmless collision.
GOAL! West Ham 0-1 Manchester City (De Bruyne 17)
Oh that is absolutely lovely stuff.
Updated
14 mins: Kolarov takes the free-kick, but it hits Noble on the back - the back, mind you, the back of brave English lionheart Mark Noble who’d turned away from the shot - and it goes out for a corner.
13 mins: Silva is muscled off the ball by noted rough-houser Lanzini. City mount an attack down the right, Sterling cuts in and is absolutely wiped out by a pretty dangerous Noble challenge. A free-kick, but surprisingly no card for the West Ham skipper.
11 mins: Antonio’s looked typically sparky so far. He’s denied a crossing chance by a decent Sagna tackle, and Stones launches the ball upfield. “Hooooooooooooooof” cry the wags in the crowd.
9 mins: Bit scrappy early on. Neither team seem all that keen on keeping the ball.
7 mins: Jesus dances into the area, and with four defenders surrounding him he somehow digs out a cross aimed at Sterling, but that’s headed away.
4 mins: Antonio has West Ham’s first effort of the evening, swivelling after collecting a Carroll knockdown and shooting, but it didn’t quite have enough power and Caballero could throw his hat on that one.
3 mins: City have a corner from the left, that Silva puts in at the near-post, it’s headed as far as Sterling on the edge of the box, and he fires a fizzing shot at goal, which goes quite a way wide but certainly had some welly behind it. In other news, the cameras just captured a shot of Guardiola smiling on the bench. Smiling!
1 mins: We’re away. City are in that 4-1-4-1/4-1-2-3 hybrid system, with Sterling right, Sane left and Jesus through the middle.
The teams are striding out in front of, it must be said, not exactly a packed crowd.
Incidentally, there are a couple of other Premier League games on tonight - Manchester United v Hull City, and Stoke City v Everton. Follow them here.
David Gold just did an impression of Robbie Savage on telly. Not entirely sure of the context, not entirely sure it matters.
Drew Gough’s been on: “Re: the photo at the top of the MBM at the moment, what does it say that the “mural” is mostly comprised of tweets? That’s like the assignments I used to hand in in eighth-grade art class: a bunch of newspaper clippings glued at right angles on a piece of A4 and called a “collage.” Maybe there’s work for me in the PR department at West Ham!”
Well, there we have it. Pep Guardiola has taken note and binned Claudio Bravo for the evening, in favour of a goalkeeper who sometimes saves shots. A maverick policy and no mistake. In other news, Gabriel Jesus starts and Sergio Aguero - who we presume is not injured - is on the bench. Always interesting, are Guardiola’s line-ups.
For West Ham, it’s more or less as expected, with Jose Fonte making his debut and fellow new boy Robert Snodgrass named as a sub. Carroll is up top, presumably excitedly caressing his ponytail at the prospect of duking things out with Otamendi and Stones...
Team news: Claudio Bravo dropped! Jesus starts!
West Ham United
Randolph; Byram, Fonte, Reid, Cresswell; Obiang, Noble; Feghouli, Lanzini, Antonio; Carroll. Subs: Adrian, Snodgrass, Collins, Fletcher, Calleri, Fernandes, Quina.
Manchester City
Cabellero; Sagna, Stones, Otamendi, Kolarov; Toure; Silva, Sane, De Bruyne, Sterling; Jesus. Subs: Bravo, Zabaleta, Kompany, Aguero, Delph, Fernandinho, Navas.
Referee: Kevin Friend (Leicester)
Preamble
We’ve been here before. Quite recently, in fact. It was only a few weeks ago that Manchester City gave West Ham an absolute coating in the FA Cup, at whatever we’re calling that stadium in the Westfield car park these days, a 5-0 scoreline that, if anything, flattered the hosts. It wasn’t quite so much that West Ham were bad that night, more they barely played at all, and City danced around them like a puppy playing against garden gnomes. Afterwards, Slaven Bilic looked like a man who needed a long walk to clear his head.
Since then, mind, things have looked a bit brighter for Slaven’s boys, with a couple of convincing wins, against Crystal Palace and Middlesbrough. Couple that with some handy signings, in Jose Fonte and Robert Snodgrass, plus getting a decent price for Dimitri Payet, a player who didn’t want to be there and hadn’t been quite as good this season anyway, and life is OK again. Well, they’ve had two good games, but in this instant culture that qualifies as a good run of form.
One of the reasons for this uptick has been Andy Carroll, scorer of three goals in those two games, including that overhead kick against Palace, the one that was much better than the scorpion kicks of Giroud and Mkhitaryan and anyone who says otherwise is...well, I just disagree with them. Carroll gave an interesting interview to Another Newspaper this week in which he made the rather refreshing admission that he’s not actually that bothered about football. The whole thing is here, but just be advised that it’s one of those newspapers that some people sometimes aren’t keen on clicking on, so you’ve been warned.
I didn’t watch Match of the Day after my goal against Palace. I don’t really like watching football. My mum and dad watch a game on one screen, listen to radio commentary and have the laptop open for score flashes! I walk in the house… oh God! I need to switch off. I don’t have it on in my house, unless I have friends over...when I was leaving Newcastle for Liverpool, I was in the helicopter on the way down and I had to go to Google to find out who their players were, looking on the phone. I was signing (for a British record £35million) and I didn’t know who my team-mates would be! I knew Stevie and some of the others but not all of them.
And so to tonight. Carroll was present for that leathering a few weeks back, and while it was a useful irritant, he didn’t really get the requisite service to cause City’s sugar paper defence any real problems. Could tonight be different? Only one way to find out.
Kick-off: 19.45 GMT
Nick will be here soon enough. Until then, recap a busy last 24 hours or so in the Premier League:
Updated
