NOW FOR SOMETHING A BIT DIFFERENT
Only real ones will remember Masters Football, the over-35s tournament for former pros hoping for one final moment in the limelight on Sky Sports in the early 2000s. Peter Beardsley’s performances in 2002 for Newcastle United were legendary, Jörg Albertz helped himself to a few more thunderb@stards for Rangers and how can we forget the vastly underrated Owen Coyle squealing “Coyle!” every time he took a shot. As they disappeared from our screens, charity fundraisers came to the fore. In Soccer Aid, Woody Harrelson being mobbed by Zinedine Zidane and Jens Lehmann after burying the winning penalty past England keeper Jamie Theakston for the Rest of the World XI was memorable, as was a certain tackle by future UK prime minister Boris Johnson on former Manchester City cult hero Maurizio Gaudino.
The point is, from half-time fan competitions (Tripgate, we’re looking at you) to Kerlon’s seal dribbling, there is a lot of room for football-based silliness and ingenuity in a game saturated with monotonous tactics and refereeing segments. And with that in mind, Football Daily’s attention turns to Kasi Flava, a maverick offshoot of the game originating in South Africa, where entertainment and showboating are as important as scoring. Teams as varied as Covid-19 FC and former champions and fan favourites Skepe Nketole FC – nicknamed The Chopper Boys owing to their propensity to arrive at matches in helicopters – compete in tournaments for prizes that range from R250,000 (£10,500) cash to brandy or even sheep.
Results, then, are important, but this is closer to an improvised, performative dance than a traditional match, an outpouring of joy played and watched by working-class people in the townships. “Kasi football is an art form, embedded in real-life human drama,” explains Tarminder Kaur, a senior lecturer at the University of Johannesburg. Bet you didn’t bank on reading actual quotes from an academic in Football Daily, but here we are.
Surely the best clip of the recent DStv eKasi Champs of Champs tournament, broadcast live on national television, is the winner scored by Mudagasi against Jukulyn in a 2-1 victory. Some of the moves are downright disrespectful: at one point Mudagasi’s players pretend to fall asleep on the ball, before their No 9 whips a genuinely brilliant Quaresma-esque trivela pass to a teammate, who neatly laces an expert finish into the far corner to send the crowd wild. Yes, please. Kasi football is not for everyone. And if you think René Higuita should have just caught the ball at Wembley in 1995 and Yannick Bolasie should have done less sweeping and more shooting, then this is probably not for you. But for this unserious, trivial tea-timely email, it’s the perfect antidote to yet another Tuesday.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
As soon as I knew there was a chance to join Manchester United, I had to take the opportunity to sign for the club of my dreams; the team whose shirt I wore growing up” –
Robbie KeaneBryan Mbeumo is psyched for the new season after joining the club he supported as a boy.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
Manchester United’s propensity to offload football talent (yesterday’s Football Daily) didn’t start today or yesterday. The following is an XI composed of players released during the 2014-15 season alone: Johnstone S, Keane M, Ferdinand, Vidic, Evra, Anderson, Fletcher, Kagawa, Zaha, Hernández, Welbeck. Many would back that side of cast-offs against anything else put out by United since then” – Brian Broderick.
Re: where the north starts (Football Daily letters passim). I would like to suggest that based on the membership of the National League North, then it starts at Bedford, because they were promoted into the league this season, even though Bedford is just 57 miles from the middle of London. Two seasons ago, Bishop’s Stortford were members of the league, and they’re based at the end of Stansted airport’s runway. They used to love midweek games in the north-east. To extend the discussion, Merthyr Tydfil are playing in National League North this season, so where does north Wales start?” – Ray Simpson.
Regarding Jon Millard’s submission that ‘the north starts at Sheffield, indisputably, as did football, also undisputedly. I’d love to say this is the one thing Noble will agree with me on, but he’d probably email in and say it’s bloody Woodall, or something’ (yesterday’s letters). He’s clearly right on football, indisputably. The north is more complex. When I was young, we used to just say that Chesterfield was the dividing line but then we thought that Bob Holness played the sax on Baker Street (false) and that he was the first person to play James Bond (false, he was the second) so what did we know? The north is very south Sheffield and just above Chesterfield so you’re looking more at a broad line of Killamarsh, Eckington, Lowedges, Totley. And, yes, that line includes Woodall” – Noble Francis.
I see that, according to Jason Wilcox, new signing Bryan Mbeumo is ‘the perfect fit for Manchester United and the culture that we are developing’. That’s rather harsh criticism, isn’t it, on the lad’s first day?” – Phil Taverner.
If you have any, please send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Phil Taverner. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, can be viewed here.
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