Change. Change. Change. Change. Change. The American populous have demanded it, and after a gruelling 24 months of sloganeering, baby kissing and not quite working out how the Senate works, The Mill is now able to promise that this January a new dawn will arrive. But, we hear you ask, how will this new world be any different from the current mess?
Well, for a start, the unpopular policy of Herman Hreidarsson warming the bench at Fratton Park will be replaced with the far more voter-friendly measure of Herman Hreidarsson playing first-team football for someone else. Anyone will do, he's not fussy. On top of this, expect a swift move to make sure Michael Chopra never again starves for goals as he returns to the Championship at Cardiff or "moneybags" QPR.
Of course, it's not just about those with all the cash, so under the new regime expect everyone to get richer as the wealth drips down through society. For example, Premier League Stoke will give Championship Derby £2m for Miles Addison, who in turn will give League Two Chesterfield £600,000 for Jamie Ward. Unless, Ward chooses to join Sheffield United instead.
Meanwhile, defence is obviously a priority, particular for Mark Hughes, who will invest £7m in Marseille's Taye Taiwo. Or perhaps just swap Nedum Onouha for Stephen Warnock if that proves a little bit easier. And, don't worry, there will still be the opportunity to take out a lot of ill-judged loans, for a start Ricardo Vaz Te will be joining Cardiff for a month and Leroy Lita will extend his time at Norwich into December.
However, let's not get too carried away here, there is some evidence that nothing much will change under the new regime. Bundesliga top scorer Vedad Ibisevic will not be moving to Manchester United from Hoffenheim despite previous rumours, Bayern Munich won't be letting Lukas Podolski leave for Tottenham, Manchester City or any of the other usual suspects and Swansea midfielder Ferrie Bodde has played down rumours of a move to Bolton in the transfer window.
But let's not leave this on a negative, let's instead bring joy to everyone with the news that the man they never thought would end up with the top job may just be given his chance. That's right, John Barnes is in the frame to be the new Watford manager. We never thought we'd live to see such a day.
